Baby Blues
Chapter Eight

Rating: PG
Category: AU
Pairing(s): Cloud/Reno, Tifa/Barret, Aeris/Tseng, Zack/Sephiroth, Vincent/Cid, Reeve/Rufus, Yuffie/Elena, Yazoo/Andy.
Warnings: Obscure 1960’s references.
Summary: Cid and Teddy plot vengeance, Baby throws a raisin, and Vincent takes a bath.
Notes: Well this is it folks, the last chapter in this mini-series. I realize I left quite a few threads hanging, but I wanted to learn a bit more about Angeal before I developed his character any further. Also a couple plot bunnies hopped into my lap that I really want to develop. So rather than try to cram a good bunny into an entirely too-small cage, I thought I’d end things here on a happy note and get plotting the next series.

A friend of mine, Silvarbelle to be exact, requested a cameo. I was happy to oblige her. After all I have a long tradition of humiliating immortalizing friends and acquaintances in my fics. However, for some strange reason, I completely failed to make the connection between the fact that Silv is a squirrel and certain other cultural icons. Once I noticed what I had set myself up for, I decided just to run with it. After all, a promise is a promise.

Now I realize animals have different names depending on the country, and one man’s moose is another man’s elk. So just to make sure we’re all on the same page, here is a picture of Dr. Minaev and his friend Luchik. I’m not sure which is which. ;-)

Dr. Alexander Minaev has kindly granted permissions to use the photo for any purpose including commercial, provided appropriate attribution. Source: Kostroma Moose Farm site

For Maldy, with love.

“The moose is here! The moose is here! The moose is here!” chanted Ifalna, dancing around Cid’s kitchen.

She was clad in a white lace dress with flowers in her hair, absolutely adorable and blissfully unaware of how close the adults in the room were coming to killing her just to stop the noise. Zack slowly reached for a frying pan, his left eye twitching, but Barret gave him a look. Zack placed the frying pan down and tried to give the impression of being innocent, flashing great big eyes with a “who, me?” expression. It was a look Zack had never managed to pull off.

“Ifalna go check to see if we have enough hay for the moose,” said Cid.

The child tore out of the kitchen, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, even Benji, who was playing on the floor.

“Motherrrrrr-fuckerrrrrr…” he said in his small voice.

Cid picked his son up. “I thought we agreed you weren’t going to say that word anymore.”

“Asshole!” said Benji happily.

“Or that one!! Gonna get your butt kicked out of pre-school.”

Barret walked over to look at Cid’s small son… who wasn’t all that small, at least not in baby terms.

“He’s gonna be bigger than you when he grows up,” said Barret. “Probably even bigger than me.”

“Yeah Vin doesn’t mess around when he makes a first-born son,” said Cid.

“And where is your blushing bride?”

“Probably up in the bedroom crying his eyes out. You know Vincent and large public events, especially ones where he is the center of attention. The whole thing has just been hell on him. We wanted something by the lake, in the evening, just me, him, a priest and a witness. Now we have wildlife and flower girls and a half-dozen anthropology students from the local university and people we don’t even know and… and I love Serafina, I do, she has helped us through some serious shit but… she has no idea the hell she is putting her son through.”

“Anthropology students?” said Barret. “What the hell they doing here? Ain’t no Neanderthals running around!”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” lilted Tifa as she dodged between the two large men.

“You get back here so I can kick your ass,” said Barret.

Tifa blew him a kiss before heading upstairs.

“She’s terrified of you, I see,” said Cid. “Anyway the reason the students are here is because this quaint little cauldron of bizarre customs Vincent’s mom hails from was apparently almost wiped off the map by Rufus’ old man. So a chance for these kids to observe even the abridged version of this wedding is a real opportunity for them. I suppose that makes this crap worth it, though I wish Serafina would let up a bit on tradition.”

“She’s just trying to keep Vincent safe,” said Barret. “For us this is just nonsense, but she really believes in it.”

“I know, and if I thought my child was in danger of pissing off a major deity I’d probably do the same, but…” Cid sighed and shook his head. “Come on, let’s go look at my moose.”

They left the gothic stone house Cid had built for Vincent, stepping into the yard to watch a truck hauling an enormous trailer pull up. The yard had been transformed into something from another age, bedecked with garlands of fall flowers, ribbons and seasonal fruit. Tables were draped with elaborate lace coverings, laid with traditional dishes and bottles of the local wine. The ground was strewn with golden leaves, and soft green and gold ribbons bedecked the trees. Cid felt rather out of place, still dressed in his jeans and t-shirt, but he didn’t want to get into his finery until he had to.

Cid, like Reno, was not a man comfortable in formal wear.

“Big damn trailer,” said Barret.

“Well it is for a god,” said Cid. “Just hope his divine lordship doesn’t freak out and kill anyone.”

“I notice the anthropology students are keeping a respectful distance.”

“Yeah well I told them if they did anything to interfere with and/or upset my husband I was gonna shove my hand down each of their throats until I hit bottom, grab something and pull until they turned inside out.”

“Damn, Cid!”

“Well come on, my husband is in tears, and he’s been in tears for about the last forty-eight hours. All I can say is if at the last minute he decides to head out the window I won’t be surprised.”

“Well who let them in here?”

Cid snorted. “Oh some damned professor asked if it was okay if his class observed at a distance. If they had asked me I would have said no but they asked Serafina, who, of course, didn’t see anything wrong with it.” Cid sighed in aggravation. “By the time this day is over Vincent will be so upset his ovaries will have withered up and dropped off. So much for our daughter ever being born, or conceived.”

They reached the back of the trailer and stood a respectful distance aside, watching as a red-haired woman with freckles on her nose, dressed in traditional white and green robes, stepped out of the truck. She smiled.

“Mr. Highwind?”

“That’s me,” said Cid.

She extended a hand. “I’m Barbra Masters. Can you point me to the stable? I want to give him a chance to relax before I have to get him ready.”

Cid pointed out the newly-built moose house. Barbra seemed pleased with what she saw.

“Great! Uh, that paddock is just temporary, isn’t it? It’s a bit small.”

“Oh yeah, we’re just finishing up the fence. He’ll have about seventy-five acres to himself, including swamp, grassland and young forest.”

“Wonderful! He should be very happy. Well he is very tame and he likes people. These animals are raised by the villagers from birth for these events, and the ones that are too aggressive or unpredictable are sent to a place where they can learn to survive as a wild animal and let loose.”

“And what about this moose?” asked Cid.

“Well a moose is still a dangerous animal, socialized or not,” she said, opening the door of the trailer. “Especially during rutting season. It’s not a beast to mess with. Of course every animal is an individual. Some like attention, some don’t, some will be happy just left alone, some want to follow you around and see what you are up to, and then we have Wiliburt.”

The door opened, and a gigantic head with a rack of spreading antlers nearly six feet across emerged. Cid had certainly seen moose, but it was a whole ‘nother thing to have one staring down at him.

“You’re lucky you didn’t get married any later in the year,” said Barbara. “It’s getting close to the end of mating season. Any later and he would have dropped those nice antlers.”

The cigarette fell out of Cid’s mouth as he stared. Suddenly he did not find it so strange that Vincent’s people had once viewed this creature as the earthly manifestation of a god. An enormous drooping muzzle advanced towards Cid’s face, sniffing slowly and thoroughly, and then began investigating him for anything remotely tasty.

“He’ll warm up once he knows you’re the one who will be feeding him from now on,” said Barbara.

“I can hardly wait,” said Cid. “He’s not exactly stand-offish now!”

Barbara led the gigantic beast out of the trailer and towards the paddock, but only a few feet from the vehicle, Wiliburt stopped, looking over his shoulder towards the luxury transport. Cid was starting to wonder if the moose was objecting to his new accommodations, when a tiny grey form scampered down the ramp and up the moose’s leg, climbing the shaggy fur up onto the great shoulder hump, finally coming to perch on the imposing antlers.

“What the hell is that?” asked Cid, while Barret just stared.

“Oh,” said Barbara. “It’s a squirrel. They’re buddies, they go everywhere together. Kinda cute, don’t you think?”

Cid slowly ran a hand down his face. “Great. All we need now is Boris and Natasha and we’re set.”

Barret patted Cid on the shoulder. “Be strong man.”

A small figure clad in a gorgeous and completely out-of-place vibrant silk robe and headscarf, sandals and pink glasses firmly in place, came out of the house.

“Cid, man, seriously. We have a problem.” Teddy watched the moose walk by, complete with squirrel, and declined comment.

“What now?” asked Cid. He set Benji down so he could run off and join his brother in the mud. No way was Cid trying to keep a pair of three-year-olds clean before he had to.

“Well… uh… I think Vincent found my stash.”

Cid went cold. His heart dropped into his stomach, and he felt an overwhelming urge to cry.

“Tell me it was your stash of jelly beans.”

“Well they sorta look like jelly beans…”

“Teddy, dammit! I told you not to bring that shit into the house!”

“It wasn’t in the house! I keep it down at my studio! You know I don’t bring that where the kids can get it!”

“Well then how did Vincent get a hold of it? Vincent doesn’t do drugs! How would he even know what to take?!”

“I don’t know but he is in orbit.”

Cid looked at Barret. “Do you mind keeping an eye on the twins while I go scrape their mother off the floor?”

“Sure man.”

Cid followed Teddy into the house and up the stairs, finding a small crowd of people gathered by the door to his bedchamber. Five, in fact. Cloud, Reno, Aeris, Tifa, and Yuffie. All looked distinctly worried and nervous. Cid slowly crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

“Okay. What happened?”

“We were just trying to help,” said Yuffie. “Honest!”

Cid felt a beating coming on. Reno suddenly thought it prudent to take his small daughter downstairs. Trust a Turk to have a back-up plan. Cid lit a cigarette, and crossed his arms again.

“From the beginning,” he said.

“Well…” said Tifa, “he was so upset, he was shaking, he was in tears, I hated seeing him like that! So I cut a sleeping pill in half and ground it up and put it in his tea. I thought it would take the edge off his nerves.”

“Well a half a sleeping pill isn’t a big deal,” said Cid.

“Except…” said Yuffie, “I gave him one too.”

“I gave him one of the sedatives the doctor prescribed me,” said Aeris.

“And me and Reno each raided Zack’s medication without knowing the other had done it and gave him one of those as well,” admitted Cloud.

“Oh, dude, harsh,” said Teddy.

“But at least he’s calm!” said Yuffie as Cid began to grow in stature, a reek of sulphur and brimstone surrounding him.

“HOW calm?” demanded Cid.

Aeris slowly pushed the door open, eyes large and contrite. Cid looked into the room, and sighed heavily, then slapped his hands over his face, shaking his head. Vincent was calm all right. He was flat on his back, left hand extended above his head, watching the way the light glinted off his gauntlet. Cid walked into the bedroom and over to his husband, seating himself on the bed and gazing down at him. Vincent eventually noticed he was there, and smiled.

“Hi.”

“You certainly are,” said Cid. “How you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Did we get married already?”

“Not yet. Why?”

“I was just thinking we… no that was somebody else. Never mind.”

Cid slowly turned his head to look at his friends. “How are we supposed to get married in less than two hours?! LOOK at him! He’s baked!”

“At least he’s not crying,” said Cloud.

“Besides maybe it’s not that bad,” said Tifa. “With his regeneration abilities he might be just fine!”

Cid looked down at his husband. “Vincent? Do you know what day it is?”

“March?”

“Noooo… what day it is.”

“Alfred?”

“Who are your children?”

“Wait… don’t help me… I know this….”

“Who am I?”

“I dunno but you should leave, I’m s’posed to be getting married. No, wait! I’m marrying you!” The ensuing hilarity from this realization was enough to cause Vincent to roll off the bed. Cid turned to look at his friends.

“I am gonna hurt each and every one of you.”

“Well maybe it’s not a total loss!” said Yuffie. “I mean Teddy looks a lot like Vincent, maybe you could put him in Vincent’s clothes and use him as a sorta stand-in.”

Cid and Teddy exchanged sidelong glances.

“Shall I tell them what’s wrong with that, or would you like to?” said Cid.

“Dude I wouldn’t even know where to start. I’ll make Vincent some tea and get him something to eat. See if we can level him off before he hits the next solar system.”

Vincent’s head poked up over the edge of the bed, red eyes huge. “You’re marrying Teddy?!” he asked, clearly distressed at the idea.

Cid lay down on the bed so he could peer into the red eyes, the pupils dilated into open pits. “No. I am marrying you and no one else.”

“No one at all?”

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

“Trust me. There is no one else in the world I want to marry.” Cid kissed his nose. “Are you coming up onto the bed?”

“No I wanna stay here. There’s a whole bunch of really bizarre people in the hall and I’m hiding from them.”

Cid looked over his shoulder at his friends. “You heard the man. You’re scaring him. And the next time you people get an urge to do Vincent any favours, conquer it.”

They left. Cid looked down once more at the large eyes peeking over the edge of the bed. It reminded him of Reno’s cats, and how they liked to hide in boxes, waiting for the unwary to pass so they could bat at them.

“You look like a kitty,” said Cid.

“I got claws like one too.”

“Yes you certainly do.” Cid grinned, moving his hand if he were playing with a kitty. A golden ‘paw’ swatted at it. He laughed, and climbed off the bed and into the small space between the bed and the wall where Vincent was hiding. He gently drew him into his arms, cuddling him close.

“You scared, baby?”

Vincent nodded, closing his eyes, letting himself be snuggled.

“It’s okay. I’m here. And after today we won’t have to do anything like this again.”

“Anything like what?”

Oh yeah, this was going to be a memorable event. At least for one of them.

Teddy returned with tea and a few things to eat, pausing in the doorway as he saw both Cid and Vincent now hiding behind the bed, peering over the covers at him.

“Dave’s not here,” said Vincent.

“Dude, I’m not explaining this to anyone,” said Teddy.

“You don’t have to,” said Cid. “We’ll let him eat, wrestle him into the shower, and then get him dressed. Hopefully he’ll be able to function.” Cid turned to look at his husband. “Okay baby, time… where the hell is he?”

After a quick survey they found Vincent beneath the bed. Cid sighed, lying down on the floor to peer under the bed.

“Vincent, what are you doing down there?”

“I got tired of being a cat. Now I’m a house spider.”

Cid growled. “Some people are going to pay dearly for this. Vincent please come out from under there.”

“Nope. Can’t make me.”

“Please?” Cid gently wheedled.

“No you come under here with me.”

“Vin there is no way in hell I can fit under the bed. Please come out?”

Eventually Vincent did, letting Cid gather him up into his arms as he made those dainty kitten-sneezes from the dust up his nose. Teddy and Cid managed to get Vincent fed, then they had to carry him into the shower, which turned into more of a wrestle than a carry. Vincent suddenly didn’t want to take a shower alone for fear something would come out of the showerhead other than water.

“Great,” said Cid. “What do we do now?”

Teddy lowered his pink glasses and stared up at Cid, and said slowly and clearly; “Don’t do anything to make him anymore paranoid than he already is. Got it?”

“Got it.”

Cid turned to take Vincent into the shower, but Vincent latched on to Teddy with both hands.

“No Teddy has to come, too,” said Vincent. “Or they’ll know.”

So Cid and Teddy had a shower with Vincent to keep the bugs in the shower from attacking.

“Pay dearly,” growled Cid.

“Dude, this shampoo’s not organic.”

“Just leave my shampoo out of this.”

“Why is there a cigarette butt in it?”

“Because it wouldn’t fit in the soap.”

“Dude, harsh.”

Eventually they left the shower, and managed to make it unseen to the bedroom. While Teddy dressed, Cid managed to get Vincent into his wedding garb. He looked beautiful, all things considered. Cid once more felt that overwhelming urge to cry. All he and Vincent had wanted was a peaceful little ceremony. How had it turned into this fiasco?

“Now what do we do with him while I get dressed?” asked Cid.

“I got it covered,” said Teddy. “Trust me, I have a lot of years of experience amusing stoned people.”

“Yeah? How?”

Teddy produced a long stick with glittering purple feathers on it. “Now, to the average unenlightened mortal, this is a cat toy. But those of us who spend a considerable portion of time chatting with Timothy Leary on his astral plane know that this is, in fact, one of the five unexplained equations that adds up to 42 and must be explored for hours at a time.”

“Just so long as it keeps Vincent amused.”

Wearing only a towel, Cid stepped out of the bedroom, and ran into his mother and grandmother. Perfect.

“Cid you’re not dressed!” said his grandmother.

“Sure I am! I’ll just glue a couple tassels to my nipples and life will be just fucking great!”

“Stressed, hon?”

“Well, yeah, a trifle.”

He pointed into the bedroom, where Teddy was entertaining Vincent. The cat toy was a huge hit, and Cid was almost sorry they hadn’t thought to dope Vincent to the gills before. It was, however, the smallest bit disturbing to see his spouse on his back acting like a terribly large kitten. Especially now.

“Oh dear he’s cracked,” said Mary. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Yeah, do you mind getting Benji and Aiden cleaned up and dressed, please?”

His mother and grandmother went downstairs to get the twins ready. Cid dressed, then picked up his husband and carried him out of the room, meeting Serafina in the hallway. She stared at her child, dangling like so much over-cooked liquorice in his husband’s arms.

“Vincent, what they do to you?” She stroked his black hair, and sighed. “Well you look better than I did on my wedding day.”

“What happened to you?” asked Cid.

“All my sisters thought I needed something to help calm me. So they made me these special cups of sweet tea, all laced with brandy. By the time I had to go get married, I couldn’t walk.”

“So I guess this is tradition, too,” said Cid. “Come on; let’s not keep the moose waiting.”

They managed to get Vincent outside and under the trees where the ceremony would take place. Wiliburt was already there, decorated with a wreath of fall flowers, crowned with oak leaves and acorns. His lordly demeanour seemed to suggest he was convinced all the fuss was for him. The squirrel meanwhile was busily eating the decorations on Wiliburt’s antlers and throwing the occasional nut at random people. Cid squinted at the fuzzy grey beast, trying to determine what was different about the squirrel. He suddenly realized that someone had put a doll-sized leather flight helmet and a pair of goggles on the creature.

Cid slowly swung his head to glower at his friends. Yuffie pointed to Cloud, Cloud pointed to Zack, who in turn pointed to Tifa, who was pointing to Nanaki. Meanwhile Vincent began to melt, slowly slithering to the ground. Cid and Teddy managed to catch him and stand him up. Their eyes met over Vincent’s head.

“Teddy?”

“Yeah Cid?”

“After the ceremony, I want you to give Marlene and Ifalna an espresso. I’ll figure out a way to get the other ‘Mother’s Little Helpers’ for this fiasco.”

Teddy grinned. “Harsh, dude. You want me to make it a double and add chocolate sauce and a nice big spoonful of sugar?”

“Perfect. I didn’t know you could do evil.”

“Dude there is no good or evil, there is only ignorance and enlightenment, and the universe balances all.”

“In that case I’m replacing Cloud’s hair gel with that clear silicon we have in the hangar.” Cid managed to get Vincent on his feet, sighing at the glazed expression in his lover’s eyes. “I didn’t even get to give him his wedding gift.”

Teddy smiled, and leaned forward to give Cid a chaste little kiss. “He’ll see it tomorrow. And he’ll love it. It’s a gift from the heart, Cid. It will mean just as much in a day. Oh hey, there’s David. Wow.”

Teddy gazed at David as he stood, resplendent in his formal uniform. He still hated what it represented, but he had to admit David looked damn fine in it. After making sure Cid had a firm hold on Vincent, Teddy left to join his lover, taking his arm, smiling, almost blushing, as David kissed him.

Cid sighed, and glanced towards the hangar as he held up Vincent. Within it sat a newly-finished airship, engines nearly silent when in operation, its body sleek and mirror-black, a dramatic streak of bloody-red down the side. The typical traditional pin-up girl was replaced with the red silhouette of a lean figure, tattered cape and long hair blowing, head turned to look down the body of the craft. Painted in scripted letters beneath the figure was the name of the ship, a single word in scarlet; ‘Valentine’.

***----***

The dragon had not been spotted in Kalm again since the night Sephiroth had battled with it, though no one was breathing a sigh of relief just yet. People were still afraid, and it was only a matter of time, they felt, until it returned. For now, however, a cautious peace had settled over the small town.

In Costa del Sol, fall became winter, which in turn gave way to early spring. Zack was well and strong once more, and looking forward to rebuilding his house. Angeal had said he would help, and Cloud could not help but notice how, despite frequent trips to distant lands to deal with something or other, Angeal kept coming back like the proverbial cat. He had the feeling that Angeal knew who had burned down Zack’s house, but he had no proof, and Angeal was not talking. Cloud also had the distinct impression that Angeal didn’t have anyplace to go. His men had abandoned him after the fiasco with the dragon, and Cloud felt it was the final cut to something that had begun to decay years ago.

Currently Cloud was sipping hot tea, gazing out his new picture-window, watching the sun set over the ocean. Beside him stood Sephiroth, clad in a black t-shirt, jeans that hugged his long legs, and motorcycle boots. On his aristocratic face perched a pair of elegant and expensive sunglasses. The warm climate seemed to agree with the Silver Tiger, and he had been making cautious excursions into the world of the unaltered. Baby’s current interest was motorcycles. Cloud and Zack were helping him build one, since in his current condition he could not be hauling engine parts around. Cloud glanced at Sephiroth as he bent down to pick up Akira, recently nicknamed ‘Velcro Baby’ by Zack due to his tendency to cling to his mother since Faelan’s birth. Faelan’s nickname was ‘Wolfie’.

“Poor little fellow is going to hate me after this one is born,” said Sephiroth quietly.

Cloud looked Sephiroth up and down. “Now… you’re certain there is a baby in there? Because you bought those jeans before you got pregnant.”

“Of course I’m pregnant. I’m just waiting for Angeal to leave so I can give birth.”

“You can do that?”

“Of course I can do that. I’ve been in labour for four days; I wish the man would get a job.”

“He got a job,” said Cloud. “He left this morning.”

“Oh thank the gods. I’m going upstairs to have a baby. Bring tea.”

“How can you both be jealous of someone I love so much?” asked Zack, picking up the teapot and following his husband and best friend upstairs. “You’re both being bloody irrational.”

Cloud and Sephiroth exchanged glances as they made their way up the stairs.

“Well I always felt one should go with his strong points,” said Sephiroth.

“And I never argue with a General,” said Cloud.

“Not above stabbing one, though, are you?”

“Hey Zack stabbed you first.”

“That wasn’t me,” said Zack, “that was some guy who looked like me using my sword. Hey we have to call Vincent. He wanted to be here.”

Zack handed Cloud the teapot and went to call Vincent, leaving Cloud and Sephiroth alone. Sephiroth placed Akira on the bed before departing briefly to change into something a bit more appropriate than his jeans; in this case it was a loose and simple cotton nightshirt. He climbed under the covers and finally got down to the business of birthing his and Zack’s fourth, and, so they swore, final child.

“So what do you think is up?” asked Cloud, as Sephiroth made himself comfortable beneath the blankets.

“I think someone or something is after Angeal, and is not above harming those he loves to get their point across. Angeal is and always has been a man of honour. I think his wanderings have led him someplace very ugly, and I think he met someone along the way who would like him out of the picture. He has my sympathy but he can’t stay with my family. I’m not putting my children willingly in the path of whatever madman is on his trail.”

“I understand your feelings, but we can’t just abandon him.”

“Of course not,” said Sephiroth. “We will look after him, if for no other reason than Zack loves him. Actually I’m quite fond of him, too.”

“Funny how we both like the guy and we’re both jealous of him at the same time,” said Cloud.

“Yes, well, I daresay these days we are both feeling rather protective of Zack.”

Cloud nodded. “Yeah that’s the truth. Okay we’ll keep an eye on Angeal. Do you think the trouble he is in has anything to do with the dragon?”

“No I’m pretty sure the dragon is not part of this. But I’m going to find it and turn it into fertilizer.” Sephiroth looked thoughtful. “I think Zack has blocked some things from memory, painful things, and I’m quite certain Angeal has not reminded him.”

“Things? What th…?”

Zack walked into the room. “All right, Vin will be here in a minute, and Reno says he ain’t getting anywhere near Baby in labour so he’s not coming up. He’s gonna play with Wolfie and the Goldfish.”

“He’s not invited up,” said Sephiroth airily. “I hardly see the point of having a Turk present.”

Zack cleared his throat. “Remind me – just what was Vincent’s position when he worked for Shinra again?”

“Irrelevant.”

Miki peeked into the bedroom. “Why’s everyone in here?”

“Your mom is having a baby,” said Zack. “Want to watch?”

She shrugged. “Okay. But it better not be another boy.”

***---***

Cid was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper, and Teddy was sitting on the kitchen floor finger-painting with Benji and Aiden, when Vincent returned home from watching Sephiroth deliver his child. He closed the door, locking it, and glanced at the clock. The twins still had an hour before bed.

“Well?” asked Cid.

“Little girl,” said Vincent. “Looks just like Sephiroth. They named her Sephira.” He showed Cid the picture on his phone. Cid gazed at the tiny baby.

“God damn! Man, Baby throws ugly infants. Looks like a blanched raisin.”

Vincent narrowed his eyes. “That is my grandchild, Mr. Highwind.”

“No one’s blaming you.”

Vincent just shook his head. “Well I’m going to have a bath.”

“Okay. Have fun. Watch out for sea monsters.”

Vincent paused, as if waiting for Cid to say something else. Then he made his way upstairs. Teddy grinned.

“Hey Cid, didn’t you and Vincent want one more baby?”

“Yup.” Cid lit a cigarette. “Little December baby.”

“Sooo… Vincent would probably have to conceive… right around now, wouldn’t he?”

“Yup.”

Teddy waited for Cid to connect the dots. Finally he sat back, looking at his friend.

“Cid.”

“Hmm?”

“Four words; naked, soapy, wet, ovulating.”

Cid processed briefly. Then he took the cigarette from of his mouth, stubbed it out, and chased after Vincent. Teddy just shook his head and sighed.

“Glad I don’t have to mop the floors around here.”