Garden Party

Rating: PG
Category: game-verse. (VERY! AU)
Pairing(s): Cloud/Reno, Cid/Vincent, Aeris/Tseng, Zack/Sephiroth.
Warnings: m-preg, yeah, like you didn’t expect THAT from me.
Summary: Another year, another garden party.
Notes: Written for Glorfindel. This story takes place in the ‘Rabid Tiger’ AU.

Morning came, and with it the inevitable visit from Cid. Cloud had finally just given him his own key to the villa, since he spent almost as much time there as he did home. In a way Cloud looked forward to the daily invasion; Cid definitely made the best coffee he had ever tasted, even if he did do the crossword puzzles and get cigarette burns all over the sports section. Cloud walked into the kitchen, waving away the perpetual cloud of blue smoke that hung around Cid. He took a mug out of the cupboard and poured himself some coffee, inhaling the scent of it.

“Morning,” said Cloud.

“Barely! It’s seven-twenty, the day’s half over! You and Reno spend most of you lives in bed!”

Cloud raised an eyebrow. “And what time does Vincent fall out of bed? Two? Three?”

“That’s completely different. Vincent is a fragile little butterfly. You’re just a lazy bastard.”

Cloud tried to merge the term ‘fragile little butterfly’ with the image of Vincent attacking monsters at least a dozen times larger than himself and firing large calibre bullets down their throats.

“You’re right; he’s a dainty bird who must be protected.”

“Damned straight,” said Cid. “I guess you haven’t checked your phone messages yet.”

“Cid I’m still in my shorts, I don’t even have my eyes open.”

Cid turned a page. “Baby’s pregnant.”

Cloud spit coffee. “You’re kidding me.”

“Nope. About five weeks.”

“What is he thinking?! How is Zack supposed to keep him a secret if he keeps having babies? These kids have to go to school; they can’t just sit on a hill their whole lives!”

“He’s not thinking, he’s batshit. At least this time he told Zack.”

“Yeah after Zack couldn’t talk him out of it, I bet. I wish I knew what was going through Sephiroth’s mind.”

“Ever hear a wind rushing down a chimney? That’s what’s going through Sephiroth’s mind.”

Cloud sighed heavily. “I’m starting to think you’re right.” He leaned back against the counter and sipped his coffee. “At least Reno and I won’t have kids.”

Cid leafed through the paper. “I thought you liked kids.”

“I do, I just don’t want any. Anyway it’s a moot point; Reno’s not genetically modified in the least. He’s male, pure and simple.” Cloud’s eyes glazed over and he smiled again. “And a damn fine one.”

“Yeah well Reno might not ever get knocked up, but who’s to say you can’t?”

“If I can then Vincent can.”

“I hope not! He’s not strong enough.”

Cloud walked over to the table and seated himself. “Cid, I realize you like to think of Vincent as this fragile little being, but he’s not.”

Cid shrugged. “Look all I know is I worry. If he’s tired, I worry, if he’s hungry, I worry, if he’s not hungry, if he sleeps too much, if he doesn’t sleep enough…”

“Cid it sounds to me like Vincent is fine. You’re just afraid of losing him.”

“Damned straight I am. I love him. I didn’t even know I was capable of love. I certainly didn’t know anyone was capable of loving a dried up old bastard like me.”

“I’m afraid I have very bad news for you, Cid.”

“Yeah? What?”

“You have a lot of people who love you.”

Cid snorted, but seemed pleased. Cloud’s phone rang, and he answered it.

“Hello?”

“Cloud, buddy! How are you?”

Cloud went straight to the point. “Zack, just because Sephiroth can get pregnant, that doesn’t make it a good idea.”

“I know. But what can I say to him? I’m his husband, not his keeper. I can’t control him.”

“How do you plan on keeping him dead if he’s popping out babies?”

“Look he doesn’t come off the hill. I’m the one who will be walking the kids to school, and Miki calls him Mommy.”

The word seemed to stick in his throat. “Mommy?” Cloud shook his head. “He’s playing a very dangerous game, Zack, and he’s taking you along for the ride.”

“He just wants what everyone else takes for granted. A stable home and a loving family. And he’s a great parent. Miki couldn’t make him angry if she kicked him. Anyway I didn’t call to argue with you about Baby’s parental urges. I called to remind you that it will be August seventeenth soon.”

“We’ll be there. And Zack? Congratulations. How is Baby?”

“He’s great. He’s like he was before Nibelheim.”

“No throwing up?”

“Nope. He didn’t have any symptoms last time either. That’s how he hid it for almost seven months. I woke up one day and said; ‘Baby is it just me or are you gaining weight?’”

“And what did you say after he told you?”

“I think I curled into a foetal position and cried. Hey there’s my beautiful Baby, how are you feeling, hon? Nah, Baby’s got toast, he’s not talking. Hey Miki c’mere, say hi to Uncle Cloud.”

Cloud heard the child take the phone. “I ate a caterpillar!” she yelled loudly enough that Cid heard.

“Good, glad to hear it,” said Cid. “Now go try a worm. Gotta be a big one, though.”

Cloud closed his eyes and offered a silent prayer of thanks that he and Reno wouldn’t breed.

“Is that Cid?” asked Miki.

“Yes.”

“Tell him my Daddy says he hopes he has a dozen kids and they all turn out like him. Are you coming to the party?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Yay! Okay here’s Daddy.”

Cloud heard Zack take the phone back from his daughter. “So you’ll be here?”

“Like always. See you there.”

Cloud hung up and looked at Cid. “Zack says Sephiroth is acting the way he did before Nibelheim.”

“Uh huh. Is that good?”

“Yeah, it’s good. Surprising, actually.”

“Well I did read once that pregnancy can trigger certain hormones that act as mood elevators.”

Cloud just stared, saying nothing. Cid looked back at him.

“WHAT? I was stuck at the dentist’s office, she’s pregnant and all she has is these damned parenting magazines.”

Cloud grinned and shook his head, then slapped Cid on the shoulder. “You’re a trip, Cid.”

“That’s great coming from a guy who once went running through Wall Market in a silk dress.”

Cloud ignored the remark and finished his coffee, deciding to start breakfast instead. He and Cid ate together, then Cid went on his way. The morning ritual was over, and Cloud went to cuddle with Reno for a few hours. He slipped under the covers and drew him close. It was a little scary to be in love, but Reno was worth a little fear. He trailed his fingers over his cheek, watching the mismatched eyes open. Reno blinked, and snuggled closer.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” said Cloud.

“Did I hear Cid?”

“Yeah. He’s gone now.”

Reno blinked like a cat, stretching his slim body. “Too bad. I guess now there’s no one to save me when you force yourself on me.”

Oh yeah, he was well worth a little fear.

***---***

Cid was many things, but he was not a communicator. It was not a skill he had ever been taught, and when things went wrong he found himself either falling silent or getting angry, mostly at himself. He left the villa mentally kicking himself for not having told Cloud what was on his mind, and he grumbled and muttered all the way back to the small house he and Vincent called home.

He walked into the structure, uncertain what to do with himself, and ended up in his shop, working on aircraft designs. Hours passed, and at two pm he finally left his shop and went to the one small bedroom. It was dark, and crammed with stuff; airplane parts, blue prints, tools, gun parts, and, in the middle of it all, a bed. Cid walked over to it and sat down on the mattress, and began sorting through the heaps of dishevelled covers until he found Vincent. He was curled into a ball, black hair all around in a tangle, fists clenched beneath his jaw, eyes squeezed shut. Without his red cloak he was surprisingly small, and to Cid he always looked frail. He stroked his hand over the wild hair, then bent forward to kiss his face.

“It’s getting late,” he said quietly.

Vincent shifted. “Few more minutes,” he whispered.

“Vince, come on. You haven’t been out of that bed in three days. You haven’t eaten, all you’ve had is some water and a bowl of soup I forced down your throat. You’re sick.”

“I’m fine, I’m just really tired.”

Cid fought back the rage he suddenly felt well up, recognizing it for what it was; fear. He swallowed it down, still stroking the black hair.

“Vince, either you get up now, or I call the doctor. What’s it going to be?”

There was a long silence. Then Vincent exhaled softly.

“Call the doctor.”

Cid fled the room, running into the kitchen, and searching for the phone, finding it at last behind the tool box. He punched in Cloud’s number first. The phone rang seventeen times before it was answered.

“Cid, most people would give up after ten,” he said dryly.

“Shut the fuck up and get over here, Vincent’s sick.”

Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Okay, I’ll bite. How do you know he’s sick?”

“I told him to either get up or I was calling the doctor, and he said call the doctor.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Cid hung up and called the doctor.

***---***

Cid, Cloud and Reno watched the small woman fight with the covers to find her patient.

“Well, he’s obstinate, that’s usually a good sign,” she said dryly. She yanked off a quilt. “How long has he been like this?”

“Three days,” said Cid.

“What’s his name?”

“Vincent Valentine.”

“Pretty,” she commented. “Mr. Valentine I can’t examine you if you won’t let me.”

The blankets growled. Undaunted, the small woman yanked. “Don’t get your hackles up with me, Mr. Valentine. I spent five years in paediatrics and I can assure you that I’ve dealt with bigger brats than you, now up! Your friends are worried.”

Vincent made a noise that sounded very much like the hiss of a large angry reptile, but he finally relented and sat up. Cloud stared in surprise.

“You were right, he is just a little thing.”

“I keep telling you people he’s not big,” said Cid.

The doctor sat back, taking in the red eyes and the mechanical arm. “So we’ve had a certain amount of genetic modification, I see.”

“Yeah we think he might be part vampire,” said Cid, “we’re not real sure.”

The doctor peered at Cid from over her glasses. “You’re not sure? You mean you don’t have his paperwork?”

Cid cleared his throat. “Ah, no. He was what you might call one of a kind. We do know that if he gets angry he turns into some sort of demon-thing, though. Claws, wings, big teeth, that sort of stuff.”

“Charming.” She turned to look at Vincent, who was staring at her sourly, his black hair hanging in wild disarray. “Well, let’s have a look at you.”

Vincent curled his lip slightly, but tolerated the examination in silence. At long last the doctor stood up and shook her head.

“Well there is nothing wrong with him that I can see. A little sunlight will probably help with the depression, and he definitely needs more iron in his diet. But I don’t see anything here that worries me.”

“What?” exclaimed Cid. “What the fuck do you call sleeping for three days?”

She closed her bag and stood up. “I call it mild anaemia with possible depression. Open a window and get him a steak. For crying out loud, you are in the sunniest location on the planet and you have the windows blocked up.”

“Sunlight and a stake make Vincent nervous,” said Reno.

“Hah, hah. Well then I’m sure he can just bite you.”

“I’m sure he can just bite me, too.”

The doctor sighed, and looked at Cid. “I can’t find anything wrong with him. Increase the iron in his diet and he should perk up. If he doesn’t, call me and I’ll book him an appointment with a specialist who deals with genetically altered patients.”

Cid nodded, and directed his attention to Vincent as the doctor departed. He was already rolled into a ball under the sheets. He sighed heavily, then looked at Cloud and Reno.

“Well? What do we do with the little darling?”

Cloud scratched his head and shrugged. Reno cocked his head.

“I heard liver has a lot of iron.”

“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Liver and spinach.”

“Okay, great. We know what to feed him,” said Cid. “The question now is how to feed him.”

The lump under the blankets remained still and silent, exuding a threatening, if unspoken, dare. Reno looked at Cid.

“Let’s do something radical and ask nicely.”

***---***

Miki may have led a rather isolated life, but she was not neglected by any stretch of the imagination. Despite her young age, she was articulate and social, and was already demonstrating her father’s bullet-proof personality. She was also showing her ‘mother’s’ formidable fighting skills, as well as his green eyes, ivory complexion, and ethereal grace.

From Zack she inherited a head of hair that was sure to be the subject of much wailing once she reached her teenage years.

She was holding a length of bamboo when Cloud walked up, learning the basics of sword fighting from Zack. It was quite clear this was not the child’s first lesson. She was a little slow and clumsy, but she knew the moves. She waved as she saw Cloud and Reno.

“Hi Uncle Cloud! Hi Auntie Reno!”

Reno narrowed his eyes and looked at Zack, who simply blinked back innocently. Cloud caught the child as she crashed into him, almost walloping him with her stick.

“I’m learning to fight!”

“So I see! Your daddy is a great swordsman, did you know that?”

“Uh-huh. He tells me all the time. Wanna fight with me? I can show you how good I’m getting.”

“Sure.” He set her down, then accepted the bamboo rod from Zack.

They sparred gently in the garden, Reno and Zack moving aside to give them room. He had to admit, she showed great potential, but given her bloodlines, that was no surprise.

“Hey Spiky!” yelled Barret. “Finally found someone on your level, did you?”

Cloud considered flashing him a rude gesture, but not in front of the child. Then he sensed something; a silent presence, powerful and predatory, green eyes fixed on the back of his skull. Cloud slowly turned, and found himself staring into feline eyes, the faintest hint of a smile haunting his lips.

“How about picking on someone your own size?” said Sephiroth, his voice quiet.

Cloud stared back at him, searching for any sign of menace, but did not see any. He cleared his throat.

“Zack I’m gonna need something a little more daunting than this stick.”

Zack tossed him his sword, which he caught with ease. Cloud noticed the perimeter expanded rapidly, and Miki went to her father. He and Sephiroth began squaring off, and the perimeter widened even more. Aeris stepped onto a stone in the middle of the koi pond to watch as they circled each other, looking for any weaknesses. Tifa kept looking from Zack to Sephiroth and back.

“Are you going to let them do this?”

Zack shrugged. “Sure, it’ll be fun to watch Baby beat the crap out of someone who isn’t me.”

“He’s pregnant!”

Be careful, Baby,” said Zack. “Cloud’s got one in the oven.”

Tifa punched Zack in the shoulder. “I meant Sephiroth!”

Zack gave her a sidelong look. “Go tell him to stop.”

Tifa looked at Sephiroth, and sighed. “I see your point.”

Cloud and Sephiroth circled, each looking for an opening, both too well seasoned in combat to make the mistake of giving their adversary an opening. Suddenly Sephiroth lowered his sword and focused his attention on something over Cloud’s shoulder.

Cloud looked.

The attack came so fast that Tifa would swear for years to come she never saw Sephiroth move. Cloud felt the flat of the blade hit, and growled.

“You’re getting rusty,” Sephiroth teased with a voice of quiet velvet.

Cloud spun and swung, and the fight was on in earnest, matching Sephiroth’s speed with his power. The spectators fled to the safety of the porch as the pair went at each other in a blur of silver and black, and several unsuspecting topiaries suddenly found themselves pruned radically. Leaves spun in the light summer wind, joined moments later by rose petals. Zack winced.

“Baby watch out for the… ah never mind, I didn’t really like that statue anyway. Oh come on, not the azalea… crap.”

Miki pointed. “Look how pretty, daddy, look at the petals fly! Like snow!”

“Yeah, great. Daddy’s gonna cry now.”

“Why?” said Aeris. “Get the camera and take pictures, they’re beautiful!”

They watched Cloud and Sephiroth fight, scattering flower petals and blossoms, filling the air with crimson and pink, Sephiroth’s white hair blowing wild like the tail of a stallion, his coat a swirl of black. Zack decided Aeris had a point and went for his camera.

Cloud was oblivious to the accidental visual effects, concentrating on his opponent. He managed to dodge the impressively long blade, getting in close only to find Sephiroth was somewhere else. He was being led on a chase, Sephiroth forever just out of range. He felt the masamune graze him, just the lightest touch of cold steel across his cheek, like the caress of death.

‘Damn he’s fast,’ thought Cloud. ‘Was he always this fast?’

He blocked the next swing, spinning out of reach before turning once more and aiming a killing blow at Sephiroth’s back, only to have him somehow materialize behind him. Cloud spun, and the blades both hit at the same time. They froze, and there was silence, the leaves and petals slowly drifting down to the ground. The tip of Cloud’s sword was resting against the skin over Sephiroth’s heart, Sephiroth’s katana against his throat.

“So,” said Sephiroth, “we’re both dead.”

“I guess so.” Cloud slowly lowered his sword. “I’m really glad we never had to do this in earnest.”

“So am I.” Sephiroth gave him that little creepy-evil smile. “It would have been a shame to cut such a pretty throat. I’m sure I would have been quite upset about it while I regenerated. After all, it is so hard to get blood out of leather.”

“Oh so you think you would have won, do you?” Cloud raised his sword and assumed a fighting stance. “Bring it on. Up for round two, Baby?”

“I am if you are, Spiky.”

Zack watched the pair resume their lethal dance. “They’re beautiful but they’re hell on the furniture.” He raised his camera, tracking the warriors.

“Hell on my nerves, too,” said Reno.

“Yeah,” said Barret, “one slip and you’re a widow with a cat to raise and put through college.” He glanced at Miki, who was peering over the railing of the porch. Barret picked her up so she could have a better view. “And what do you think about all this?”

Miki’s green eyes followed Sephiroth’s every move, staring. “I wanna be able to do that when I grow up!”

“Don’t worry,” said Tifa, “you will.”

Miki suddenly stiffened. “Mommy not my unicorn statue!”

Sephiroth never missed a beat, deflecting Cloud with a perfectly timed stroke and sending the battle in a different direction. It was exquisite control, and the spectators on the porch broke into applause. Barret shook his head.

“Well I never said this about a man before, and damned if I ever will again, but… he’s beautiful.”

Zack grinned. “Thank you. And it only took five solid years of sweat, tears and fear to get him back on his feet.”

“So he’s sane?”

Zack shook his head. “No. He’s not. He’s functional, and he’s stable, and he enjoys life. But we can’t ever forget that he still has all that Jenova crap in his system, along with who knows what. The truth is we just take it one day at a time, though I have to say that pregnancy agrees with him. He’s always a lot better when he’s on the nest.”

Cid seemed to feel vindicated about something, but he didn’t say what.

“That must be one of the reasons he chose to have a second child,” said Tifa.

“It certainly wasn’t because I thought it was a great idea. I mean I love little Miki, and I know we’ll love the new one, too. But…”

Cloud hit the porch with a resounding crash and the splintering of a few decorative cedar rails. He immediately got to his feet and dashed after Sephiroth. Zack sighed.

“Okay these two are having way too much fun and it’s costing me my house. BABY! Stop wrecking the joint!”

“Baby doesn’t appear to be listening,” noted Cid.

“Nah Baby never does. We need a rain shower.”

“I could go turn on the hose,” said Yuffie.

“Uh, no,” said Zack. “Very bad idea to hit Baby with the hose.” He glanced at Aeris and smiled. “Would you mind, love?”

“I suppose I could,” she said. She closed her eyes and placed her hands together as if in prayer. Moments later the rain came down in a deluge, and Cloud found himself wet and alone in the garden. He looked around.

“He’s gone!”

Barret was laughing so hard he almost couldn’t stand up. “I never saw anything like that! I swear he teleported sideways!”

Cloud looked around, as if making certain he really was alone, then put his head back and laughed, letting the silver rain fall onto his upturned face. Sensing the battle was over, Marlene, Miki and Ifalna ran out into the rain to jump in the puddles, the torrent already having softened to a light shower. The air became heavy with the perfume of rain-washed flowers, and Nanaki hopped off the porch to frisk in the damp grass. Aeris unclasped her hands, and the rain faded to a few drops dripping from the eves. Zack followed his husband into the house, finding him drying off.

“Aww… poor love. C’mere.” Zack slid his arms around Sephiroth and drew him close, sensing the sort of irritation one would expect from a damp cat. He kissed him. “Did Baby get wet?”

Sephiroth growled, but permitted Zack to fuss over him, his dignity a little tarnished but undamaged. Zack kissed him again, then whispered into his ear; “I have no idea why you don’t like getting wet, you’re gorgeous.”

Sephiroth nipped him. “You would think I was beautiful if I fell into the septic tank.”

“Yeah I would. But I’d make you take a bath first. C’mere.” Zack kissed him, holding him, running his hands over his back. “I love you, you beautiful thing.”

“That’s only because I have been using mind-control.”

Zack kissed him again, running one hand down Sephiroth’s flat stomach. “So what are we having this time?”

“A boy of course. Wasn’t that what you wanted? A girl first, until we got the hang of it, then a boy?”

Zack rocked visibly, his expression one of astonishment. “You remember that?!”

Sephiroth kissed him, closing his eyes as he rest his lips against Zack’s brow.

“The only thing I did not forget was you.”

“But… you…”

“That night is lost to me. I do not know what I did. I do not want to know. I will not look into that chasm willingly, for fear I may fall in. I know I hurt you, and badly, and for that I cannot forgive myself. But even in the depths of my illness, all I truly wanted was you.”

They held each other, languishing in the feel of one another’s closeness.

“The rain has stopped,” said Zack softly.

“Has it? Well then, I have something I must do.”

Sephiroth kissed Zack once more, then walked onto the porch to face Aeris. Like a deer spying a tiger in the shadows, their eyes locked.

“You…” said Sephiroth.

Aeris shrieked and ran, Sephiroth hot after her. He did not follow her far, since she ran straight for the koi pond. Aeris was no fool, and she hopped onto a small wooden bridge, little more than a small decorative arch, then turned to laugh at him.

“Can’t catch me now, can you?”

She watched him stalk the edges of the pond, feeling quite pleased with herself. Of course, a little of that confidence faded as she saw him delicately hop onto a stone in the pond. It was only just large enough for him to perch on, providing he stood on the balls of his feet. She watched as he gave her that nasty little smile, and she screeched as she saw the masamune blade whirl. There was no sound of the blade striking, no impact, and slowly she opened her eyes to see him still standing before her. Then he turned and hopped lightly back to dry land. Aeris watched him go, puzzled as to what he may have done.

Then the bridge snapped, and Aeris went into the koi pond with a shriek and a huge spray of water. She suddenly found herself sitting in two feet of clear water, surrounded by frogs and lilies, and very inquisitive fish. Tseng hopped the porch railing to go to her aid, but by the time he reached her, he could tell she didn’t need help.

“Well don’t just stand there, get me some fish food, they’re hungry. Oh look at the cute one with the spot on his nose, hello cute fishy.”

Tseng smiled at her. “My love, have I told you lately that you are quite out of your mind?”

She laughed. “I think you may have mentioned it.”

Zack walked over with a small bag of koi food and passed it to Aeris. “Here you go.”

Tseng seated himself at the edge of the pond. “I would tell you not to encourage her, but I have known her since she was seven or eight, and she still hasn’t grown up. She just got taller.”

“It wouldn’t do either of you any harm to sit is a pond once in a while and feed the fish,” she said primly.

Zack shrugged, removed his boots and waded into the water to sit with her. “Pass me some fish chow.”

Ifalna and Miki went to help feed the fish, and Barret looked around to see if Marlene was close at hand. He noticed she was in the house, lying on the couch beside Vincent. Barret had worried in the past that Marlene’s little-girl crush might irritate Vincent, but he seemed undisturbed by it, even a little flattered. Still, she did take liberties with his personal space, and Barret did not want her to get on his nerves. He walked into the living room quietly, noticing that despite the noise Vincent seemed to have fallen dead asleep. Marlene was stretched out beside Vincent, her head on his flat stomach, listening. Barret walked over to the couch and knelt beside it.

“Marlene…”

She waved her hand at him. “Shh, daddy, I’m listening.”

“Listening? To what?”

Marlene listened to Vincent’s stomach, then moved up to put her ear to his chest. She looked puzzled.

“Daddy why would Vincent have two hearts?”

Barret smiled. “Marlene honey, Vincent only has one heart.”

She shook her head. “Nuh-uh, he’s got two. He’s got a big one up here,” She patted his chest, then moved down to place her head on his stomach. “And a little tiny one, down here.”

“You’re probably just hearing his stomach.”

“Nuh-uh! It’s a heart! You listen.”

Barret stared at the child. If there was one thing he had learned, it was that no one could rob him of his dignity faster than Marlene. He sighed.

“Okay, but if Cid comes running in here, then YOU have to tell him why I’m listening to Vincent’s stomach.”

Marlene sat up. Vincent stirred slightly, but did not awaken. Barret suspected Vincent could sleep through a twenty-one gun salute. He sighed, and laid his head on his friend’s stomach. Reno wandered in to watch.

“So how long have you made it a habit to listen to men’s stomachs while they sleep?”

Barret held up his hand to silence Reno. After a moment he raised his head.

“Reno you have a listen.”

Reno raised an eyebrow. “And what am I listening for?”

“Just come listen. I want to see if you hear what I heard.”

“Well I’ve done stranger things, but not without getting paid.” He walked over to Vincent, kneeling on the floor and listening to his belly. After a moment, his eyes met Barret’s.

“It’s a heartbeat, isn’t it?” said Barret.

Reno nodded. “It’s a heart all right. I wonder if Cid knows?”

“Knows what?” asked Marlene. Suddenly she became very excited. “Is Vincent gonna have a baby like how Zack and Sephiroth did?”

Barret picked the child up and held her. “Now don’t be telling anyone, okay?”

“But why, daddy?”

Barret did not have a ready response, but fortunately Reno did.

“Because Vincent might be upset if we tell his secret. He will probably want to tell Cid himself.”

“Oh.” Marlene looked disappointed. “Okay I guess. Maybe I can help name it, though.”

“Maybe you can,” said Barret. “Now why don’t you go help feed the fishies, and let poor Vincent sleep.”

“Okay.”

Barret set her down and watched her run off to the koi pond, then glanced at Reno.

“You think he’s scared to tell him?” asked Barret.

Reno shrugged. “Well Cid can be volatile.”

“How far along do you think he is?”

“I can’t tell. But if we’re hearing a heart beat…”

“Has to be more than a few days.”

Barret looked down at Vincent, feeling protective of him. He reached down and covered him over with his own cloak, then he and Reno left him in peace. The party was in full swing, Reeve being the last to arrive, followed by Cait Sith. Barret picked the mechanical cat up and looked at it. The cat waved at him.

“Hi Barret, long time no see!”

Barret looked from the cat to Reeve. “You’re a sick man, designing stuff like this.”

Reeve took the cat. “Sick I may be, but I’m always popular with my nieces and nephews. I made the youngest one a talking pony that she can ride.”

“Still bothers me I spent weeks tramping around the planet with this thing, talking to it.”

“It was no treat for me either,” said the cat.

“Better get used to having him around,” said Reeve. “Marlene finally talked me into letting her keep him.”

“Aw hell no! He ain’t coming home with me until you programme him to not drink the orange juice out of the carton.”

“Already taken care of.”

“AND take away the damn megaphone.”

The cat gasped and clutched his megaphone. Marlene scooped him up and hugged him tightly, rubbing him between the ears, making him purr.

“It’s okay Cait Sith, Daddy didn’t mean that.”

Marlene turned and walked away, hugging the cat. Barret stared at Reeve.

“I’m gonna hurt you.”

Reeve just grinned, and accepted a bottle of beer from Cloud. Barret sighed and walked away, muttering. Cloud watched him go, then looked at Reeve.

“So what did you programme Cait Sith to do instead of drink orange juice out of the carton?”

Reeve had a drink of beer, then looked at his watch. “In precisely fourteen hours from now, he will either spit up a hairball, claw the furniture, or crap in a planter. Hard to tell, it’s a randomized programme.”

Cloud stared at him. “You’re a sick bastard, Reeve,”

“I thought that was why I got invited to these parties in the first place. Not that it’s any of my business, but why are Aeris and Zack sitting in the pond?”

“Anti-Sephiroth barrier,” explained Cloud. He felt Reno sidle up to him, and he slid an arm around his slim body.

“Besides,” said Reno, “we all know those Soldier-types are an odd bunch.”

“Better watch it,” said Cloud. “You’re sleeping with one of those Soldier-types.”

Reno kissed him. “Okay. All the ones who aren’t you.”

Zack had somehow encouraged a koi to pick kibble out of his pocket. “Yeah well I saw you Turks do a few odd things in my day. Let me tell you, nothing we did compared to the stuff you guys got up to.”

“What?” exclaimed Tseng. “The only time you guys even saw a Turk out in the field was when we were escorting around some officials, and we had to be in our rooms at nine pm. You guys were out sneaking around getting pissed and acting like madmen. And who was the jackass who tried to pass himself off as a bush?”

“That was Edgington,” said Zack. He raised his beer. “To Edgington, he is gone but not forgotten.”

“No I still have the pink dancing chibi-kitty he engraved in my sword to remember him by,” muttered Cloud.

“No way!” said Tifa.

Cloud pointed to the blade over his back. “Pull it out and look for yourself.”

She came up behind him and pulled the massive sword out part way. “Oh it does have a kitty! It’s so small though! Faded, too. Needs a new coat of enamel.”

“No it doesn’t,” said Cloud.

“Which just goes to prove Tseng’s point,” said Reno.

Cloud shook his head. “No I have to disagree. I’m willing to bet it was the Turks who moved all the latrines back two feet off the holes that night we had black out conditions.”

“No, absolutely not!” said Tseng. “Only a member of Soldier would stoop to latrine jokes.”

“Then who wrote ‘Turks Rule, Soldiers Drool’ on the inside of the pit in phosphorescent paint?” demanded Cloud.

Zack screamed with hilarity. “So all that swearing and cursing I heard was you that night!?”

“Yeah it was me, okay? Are you happy?”

“It was not us,” said Tseng. “And even if it was us, it still could not have been us because we were somewhere else at the time. But I would very much like to know who crept into my room and used industrial adhesive to glue… never mind.”

“Glue what?” asked Aeris.

“Nothing,” said Tseng.

“That was not us, it was some of the nurses you had been attempting to charm the night before.” Zack looked at Aeris. “Mr. Wonderful here, newly transferred to the Turks and thinking himself the finest piece of masculinity to grace the planet, got caught playing slap and tickle with no less than four of the nurses we had on hand to take care of us brave fighting men.”

“Us brave fighting men who were scared to death of them,” added Cloud.

“Yeah and with good reason,” said Zack. “Anyway, Tseng’s passed out on the floor, so they strip him naked, and then, using the bonding compound that we used to seal containers of bio-hazardous materials, they glue his ass to the floor, his right hand to the phone, and his left hand to the part of his anatomy that got him into trouble in the first place.”

Sephiroth walked up. “Speaking as commanding officer, I can say with a fair degree of certainty that you were all rotten.”

“But you loved us,” said Zack.

“I would have liked to have choked each and every one of you. My hair was black until I took command.”

“It was,” said Zack. “I bought the dye myself.”

“I bet you’ve got some stories,” said Barret.

“Actually, I’m not much of a story teller,” said Sephiroth. “I much prefer video evidence.” He pulled something out of his shirt and set it on a small table, tapping it with one gloved finger. It was a video cassette, clearly labelled ‘Talent Night’. “I believe you will find it cued to the appropriate place.”

Zack and Cloud stared at the thing. “Oh tell me it’s not,” said Zack.

Tifa suddenly snatched up the tape and tossed it to Reno. He caught it and raced for the house, Zack and Cloud in hot pursuit. He slammed the door and locked it just before the pair reached it. Cloud pounded on the door.

“Reno! Open up!”

“In a minute!”

“RENO! Dammit!” He looked at Zack, years of training taking over. Zack gestured left, and Cloud bolted to the back door of the house, while Zack tore off to the bedroom window. Seconds later Reno raced out the front door once more, tossing Yuffie the tape before running off, chased by Zack and Cloud.

“He’s fast,” remarked Sephiroth.

“You’re telling us,” said Tifa. “We’ve had to chase him. Come on, let’s go watch the tape.”

Sephiroth watched the group run off to the house, then followed at a more stately pace. Cloud and Zack meanwhile, had followed Reno down the hill into what could only be called a debris heap; piles of boulders and old branches washed down the hill in a long-ago dirt slide, now grown with thorny brambles. Zack leapt onto a large stone and looked around.

“Where did he go?”

Cloud had the sinking feeling he had done this before. “He’s gone. He’s probably at the house by now. That’s why Tifa threw him the tape. He’s fast, and this is just what he does, lead his pursuers to a place just like this then doubles back.”

Zack looked at Cloud. “So we’re boned?”

“Oh yeah. Real boned.”

Zack sighed. “Oh well. Come on, let’s go finish our beer while we decide how we’re going to kill ourselves.”

Vincent meanwhile was suddenly awakened by a stampede of people, and the sound of the television being turned on. He sat up, blinking, just as Cid seated himself beside him.

“Wakie, wakie!”

“I’m awake,” said Vincent. “What’s all the noise about?”

Cid kissed his face. “We’ll know in a moment.”

Tifa slid the tape into the video player. The image that came up was one of a military encampment.

“Aeris hurry up!”

Aeris came running in, having hastily wrung out her skirt. Reno came scurrying in moments after her, leaping over the back of the sofa to land on Barret’s lap. Barret picked him up by the waist and moved him aside.

“Where did you leave them?” asked Nanaki.

“Down the far side of the hill, by the brambles.”

Yuffie stared at him. “You went down the hill to the debris heap and back up that fast?”

“That’s how I got hired for the Turks,” said Reno. He grinned. “I was in charge of stealing documents.”

“Shh!” said Cid. “I really want to see this before they get back.”

A man in fatigues walked into view, holding a sort of hastily made programme in his hand.

“Okay, that was the multi-talented Edgington with his stirring rendition of ‘Flowers in Spring.’ Edgington, as you will no doubt recall, won last year’s ‘Lovely Legs’ competition. Nicely done, Edgie, I had no idea it was even possible to play classical music on the spoons. Next up! We have the lovely and talented Major Zack Fair and the charming and not entirely grotesque Cloud Strife. They are on loan to us from the psychiatric wing of a local hospital, and they will be performing a contemporary karaoke piece.”

“Oh this is going to be brutal, I can just tell,” said Reeve.

The group erupted into howls of laughter as Zack and Cloud leapt into view, Cloud with his hair tied up in bows made of scraps of khaki fabric and his camouflage pants rolled up to his knees. The howls became screams as Cloud sang the first line of the song.

“I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world…”

From the yard, Cloud and Zack stared mournfully at the house, hearing the hysterical laughter.

“I’ll kill you, then you can kill me,” said Zack.

“No way, how come you get to die first?”

Zack sighed heavily. “Ah forget it, let’s just get drunk.”

***---***

The party continued on throughout the day and into the evening, running later than usual. Everyone was having too much fun to leave, though Vincent found himself having a hard time enjoying it. The child within him was active, and he knew that very soon his secret would be out for all the world to see, whether he spoke of it or not.

Vincent stood on the porch and watched the sun set through the cherry trees, feeling as if more than just the sky was becoming dark. He did not look up as he felt a silent presence come to stand beside him. There was no need. He knew it was Sephiroth.

“So, how far along are you?” he asked in his low, quiet voice.

Vincent did not try to pretend he had no idea what Sephiroth was talking about. He knew there was no point.

“Five months.”

“That’s a long time to wait to tell Cid.”

“You waited even longer to tell Zack.”

“Yes,” said Sephiroth. “But I can promise you the delay was not because I feared he would leave me.”

“Cid doesn’t want a family,” said Vincent. “He has made it very clear ever since first we met, long before we became lovers. He is not going to be pleased. I cannot hide it much longer, anyway. I am just trying to hold onto my lover for as long as I can, before he realizes the truth.”

“And where will you go?”

“I have places.”

Sephiroth nodded. “You may add this one to the list.” He gave Vincent a sidelong look, their eyes meeting, understanding each other on a level few could. “We freaks must stick together.”

Vincent smiled slightly, without humour. “Yes, we are all siblings, aren’t we? Hojo’s bastard children. I hope you killed him.”

Sephiroth smiled coldly. “He begged me for his life. Told me he loved me, worshipped me, wanted to be a part of me. He slithered away from me like a snake in a trail of his own blood, and said he wished he could see what I saw, and know what I knew.”

“So what did you do?”

“I ate his eyes and his brains while he was alive to enjoy the spiritual union.”

They leaned against the porch railing and smiled like a pair of very smug demons.

“I think I love you,” said Vincent.

“One should always be careful of what one wishes for.” The wind pushed a tendril of hair into Sephiroth’s eyes, and he tossed his head to move it. “Is it true you loved my mother?”

“I did. Once.”

“Is there any chance you are my father?”

“A… very small chance. Yes. But we will never know for sure.”

“That’s all right,” said Sephiroth. “I feel better just knowing there is a chance.”

They fell silent for a time. The sun sank lower, and the sky turned to gold, red and indigo.

“What do eyeballs taste like?” asked Vincent.

Sephiroth watched the flight of a small bat. “I don’t recommend them.”

“I wasn’t planning on trying them.” Vincent sighed quietly. “I have to tell Cid.”

“Tell Cid what?”

Vincent turned to find Cid standing behind him, having just emerged from the house. Sephiroth departed silently, leaving the pair in peace. Vincent could tell Cid was suddenly feeling nervous, especially with Sephiroth’s discreet exit. Whatever it was, it was not going to be something small.

“Tell Cid what?” he repeated.

Vincent walked towards him, moving slowly into his embrace, laying his head on his shoulder. Cid slid his arms around him, stroking the long black hair.

“Vince, you’re scaring me.”

Vincent held him tight, relishing the feel of Cid, how strong he felt, and the vague, ever-present smell of engine grease and cigarette smoke. He nuzzled close, thinking how much he would miss the feel of his stubble against his neck when they made love. He drew a deep breath and tried to force the words out, but they would not come.

“Vincent? Talk to me.”

“I love you. I didn’t think I would ever love again.”

Cid gently pushed him back, then took his small face between his gloved hands. “Vince, talk to me. You’re scaring the hell out of me.”

Vincent wanted to tell him, but the words would not come. They seemed to become trapped within his chest. He struggled to speak, but only managed three words.

“Kneel for me.”

Cid looked surprised at the request, but did. “Now what?”

Vincent gently drew him close. “Just listen.”

“I should think once you had me down on my knees you’d want something a little different.”

Vincent rolled his eyes. “Not on the porch, Cid.”

“Yeah, fine.”

Cid listened, wondering just what he was listening for. Vincent waited, hoping this was not the moment before their relationship disintegrated. Cid suddenly pulled back and scowled, as if he had heard something but doubted his ears. He pressed close once more, hands resting on Vincent’s hips.

“Is that a heartbeat?” he asked.

Vincent drew a deep breath. “Yes.”

“You’re shitting me. It is?” He changed ears. “It is! Vincent, ah… are you by any chance pregnant?”

He stroked his hands through Cid’s hair. “Yes.”

Cid kept listening. “How?”

Vincent opened his mouth to answer, but Cid was suddenly on his feet, towering above him, taking him by the shoulders. “How far?”

“Five months.”

“FIVE? How the hell am I supposed to build an addition to the house in four months? It’s August for crying out loud, summer’s almost over, I can’t build in the winter!” He dropped to his knees once more, listening to Vincent’s abdomen. “What’s it going to be? A boy or a girl?” Cid was suddenly on his feet again. “You were on the bloody ladder yesterday helping me with the engine attachment of that plane! You stupid little shit, what if you had fallen off?”

“Cid I…”

“Is THAT what you had me worried sick about? The sleeping, the lethargy, the hiding? Because you’re fucking pregnant? Why didn’t you TELL me?!”

“You didn’t want a family.”

“Who says?”

“YOU!”

“Oh, yeah, I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Repeatedly.”

Cid stared at Vincent, feeling a realization creep over him. “Vince, did you not tell me because you thought I wouldn’t love you anymore?” He pulled him close and held him hard, pressing his face into his hair. “Ya silly shit, don’t you realize I would shrivel up and die without you?”

“But…”

“I don’t care. We’ll make it work. Maybe it’s time I got my head out of my ass and learned to worry about someone else for a change.” He got down on his knees and pressed his ear to Vincent’s stomach once more. “There’s really a baby in there. And… it’s mine?”

“Well it’s not Barret’s.”

“Better not be, or I’m making him change it.” He laughed, then abruptly turned and yelled; “HEY YOU GUYS! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE AND LISTEN TO MY BABY!”

“Cid…”

“Yeah, yeah, gotta start watching my language. Fuck, gotta stop smoking, too.”

“Well I was going to say I’m not a radio station, but…”

Vincent’s words trailed off as Cid suddenly dashed away to the group of people gathered by the koi pond to tell them the news. Vincent just watched him, and breathed a sigh of relief.

“So all this time I was worried for nothing,” he said quietly to himself. “I’m sorry I did not have more faith in you, Cid.”

***---***

It was getting late. The party had moved indoors, and the children were asleep on the large bed that Zack and Sephiroth shared, Marlene with her arm around Cait Sith. In the living area, the group of friends were beginning to cast looks at the clock, knowing they would have to leave soon, but not just yet. There was still some beer left, and it would be poor form to leave it unfinished. Currently the friends were on the topic of Sephiroth’s possible parentage.

“So is there a chance you’re Sephiroth’s father?” Tifa asked Vincent.

“A chance, yes,” said Vincent in his soft voice.

“Just one chance?” teased Zack.

Vincent wondered at times like this what made him think it was a good idea to get out of the coffin. “A… couple chances.”

“Stop teasing the poor guy,” said Aeris, gently chiding.

“We have no way of knowing for certain,” said Sephiroth.

“Ah that’s crap,” said Cid. “He’s your daddy.”

“There is a possibility,” said Vincent, “But…”

“You’re his daddy and I can prove it, right now.”

Yuffie turned to look at him. “How?”

“Simple.” Cid struggled to his feet, having put away a considerable quantity of beer. “Okay, here we have our lovely Mr. Sephiroth. Now, apart from the white skin, the kitty eyes, and the seven foot toad-sticker, what is Baby’s most notable feature?”

The group studied Sephiroth briefly. “The bunny-ears,” said Yuffie.

“I beg your pardon?” said Sephiroth.

“The bunny-ears! That… thing on your head.” She traced twin peaks in the air with her finger.

“The double cowlick,” said Barret.

“It is rather distinctive,” said Reeve, while Reno nodded drunkenly.

“Precisely,” said Cid. “Now, if I can get my lovely husband to sit next to ol’ Seph, here…”

“I think I liked it better when you were all afraid of me,” muttered Sephiroth as Vincent seated himself on the couch alongside him.

“Sadly I have learned familiarity breeds contempt,” said Vincent.

“Now,” said Cid. “Watch closely. You will note I have nothing up my sleeve.”

Cid gently removed Vincent’s head scarf, letting the long black mane fall loose. Cid then pulled a comb out of his back pocket and ran it once, slowly, across Vincent’s hair, starting at the brow and dragging it back. He then stepped away and watched as the black tresses fell naturally into place. The group stared.

“And voila,” said Cid.

“No way,” said Tifa, her eyes large.

“It’s the same damned cowlick!” exclaimed Barret.

“It is!” cried Yuffie. “It is, it’s the same set of bunny-ears!”

Cid grinned, pleased with himself. “Now I ask you, can this be a coincidence?”

“Can’t be,” said Cloud. “No way. I mean look at it.”

Cid bowed. “Thank you folks, I’ll be here all week.”

Vincent and Sephiroth looked at each other. “So I have you to thank for this,” said Sephiroth, pointing to his hair.

“No, you have your grandfather, and if it is any consolation, his was bigger.”

Cid dropped himself into his chair once more. “I mean okay, fine, it won’t stand up in a court of law, but if you ask me, the odds of the two of you both having that cowlick and not being related are pretty high.”

“So you’re a Valentine!” said Aeris.

“And that makes Vincent and Cid grandparents!” said Zack.

“Ah crap,” said Cid.

***---***

The party at last broke up. Barret went to claim Marlene, Tseng fetching Ifalna, and slowly the group dispersed, thanking their hosts before making their way back to the Highwind. Vincent stood on the porch, watching the moon riding high in the clear night sky, waiting for Cid. Suddenly he sensed the same quiet presence he had felt earlier, and turned to see Sephiroth standing close by. They gazed at each other in silence, until Sephiroth finally spoke.

“It’s still not proof,” he said.

“I know,” said Vincent.

They gazed at each other a little longer, then, as if by some command, they both stepped forward, putting their arms around each other, holding one another tightly. Then Cid exited the house, and they released each other.

“See you soon?” said Sephiroth.

Vincent nodded. “I’d like that.”

He turned and walked away with Cid, while Sephiroth went into the house, finding Zack doing some tidying prior to going to bed.

“Good party, wasn’t it?” said Zack.

Sephiroth walked over to him and kissed his lips. “Our best yet.”