The Awakening

Rating: R
Category:
Pairing(s): Vincent/Sephiroth
Warnings: Smut. But no one’s pregnant (It's time to worry when you need a warning for LACK of MPREG - pebt)
Summary: Vincent averts a catastrophe.

“I wake up in the basement.
I'm so hungry. I'm dry.
I must be here sleepwalking,
Mustn't I..?”
- Alice Cooper: “The Awakening”
from the album “Welcome to my Nightmare”.

Vincent opened his eyes, sensing a presence. He was here. And he was distressed. Lucrecia’s baby. Except… he wasn’t a baby. He was a grown man; tall, powerful, beautiful, but in some ways, still a baby. A child needed a mother to grow into a man. Sephiroth had only been given lies and test tubes. He did not even know he had been born in this house. They had dragged him away from his screaming mother and taken him to a hidden place to be raised as the experiment he was, to never learn the truth of his origin. But the lies were making him insane. Sephiroth. The name of the vessels God had shattered to create the universe. He had been created to cause destruction, and he was only moments away from reaching the path that would lead him to that destiny.

Question – did he give a shit?

Well, to be honest, no, not really. It was not easy to drum up an emotion when his own life was little more than scattered fragments, thick with dried blood and a layer of twenty-five-year-old dust. Let him destroy the planet. What did he care?

“Well, that’s not really fair, is it?”

He heard her so clearly, giggling the words. They were in the kitchen, fighting over the last jam-filled doughnut. Except he was so much taller than she, it was not quite a fair battle. He held the prize close to his breast, keeping his back between her and the sweet, laughing as she tugged at his jacket.

“Valentine, you are just awful!”

“Snooze ya lose, Crescent.”

“You are supposed to be here protecting me!”

“I am! I am saving you from all these nasty carbohydrates and sugar! And all this icing, and… ooh, is that raspberry filling? Now who do I know who likes raspberry?”

She beat a drum solo on his back. “VINCENT VALENTINE YOU HAND THAT OVER RIGHT NOW! You don’t even like raspberries!”

“Well then you should have been faster.”

She struck his back with her small fist, laughing. “Well that’s not really fair, is it? You’re so much taller and quicker than I am.”

In the end he let her have it. He knew he would anyway. There would be other days, and other doughnuts. His day had begun so wonderfully. He was young and in love, and a little house he’d had his eye on had just come up for sale – perfect for a young couple starting out...

An hour after the doughnut fight, Lucrecia was pregnant by Hojo, and he was dead on the floor.

They had no idea how they had hurt him. Not just emotionally with the betrayal, finding out second-hand his girlfriend was sleeping with another man. Well, he had thought she was his girlfriend. Apparently to Lucrecia he was just “cute”, “sweet” even, and, worst of all; “harmless like a puppy”. That had been nearly enough to sour him towards life in general. But the physical pain was what had truly damaged his psyche, the raising from silent death again and again and again, over and over, screaming into wakefulness while these monsters tried to get it right, feeling the rot and maggots attack him. They didn’t know what they put him through. Worse, they didn’t seem to really care. They were scientists. They had their mind on higher things. The hellish agony of one mere low-level Turk was nothing to them. It had broken him in a way no one would ever understand. There would be no picking up the pieces.

Vincent heard Sephiroth open the hidden door in the room high above the basement, moving quickly and lightly down the stairs. He had come looking for truth, but like Vincent he would find only pain which would shatter him, and his name would begin to reveal its true meaning; Sephiroth. His shattering would be the beginning of the end. It wasn’t fair, was it? Not fair in the least. It wasn’t fair that Vincent was a discarded experiment in a box, it wasn’t fair Sephiroth’s only reason for existing was to destroy, and it definitely wasn’t fair to the people who were just living day by day with absolutely no knowledge this was happening. It absolutely wasn’t fair. Why should they die just to prove Hojo’s crackpot theory?

He could stop this. He couldn’t stop them, but he could stop this.

Slowly Vincent pushed the coffin lid open and rose from its narrow confines. Stepping out of the casket, he began walking silently through the dirty room, piled with the dead. He stepped neatly around broken bits of cheap coffin, and cremation urns filled with ashes. Hojo had locked the door to this storehouse of the dead, but that was not an issue for Vincent. He left it locked not because he could not get out, but so others could not get in. He collapsed into a mist, his body simply dematerializing as he fell, and he slithered out beneath the door in the form of a red and black vapour. He stood up and rematerialized in time to see Sephiroth walk by.

“Wait,” he said softly.

Sephiroth whirled, sword drawn, and hopped, cat-like, to one side. He had been taken utterly unaware, and he clearly did not care much for it.

“Who are you?” he demanded.

“There is nothing for you down here,” said Vincent softly. “Leave this place.”

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. He sheathed his blade and stepped closer to Vincent, who was not greatly shorter than he, and when he spoke, Vincent could hear the rage in his voice. It was veiled, but so very near the surface. He was so close to breaking Vincent could almost smell the pain.

“I have questions,” Sephiroth said quietly. “They must be answered. The information I seek is in that study.” He pointed one black-gloved hand at the door to the study were, a quarter of a century ago, Vincent had been murdered. “I must have it.”

“There is nothing in that study but lies. If you go in there, all you will find is madness and despair.”

“My mother…”

“Your mother,” Vincent interrupted, “was not named Jenova. I knew her. I loved her. Your mother was…” Vincent forced the word passed his lips. “Lucrecia.”

The rage and pain in Sephiroth’s eyes was replaced with confusion. “You… you knew my mother?”

Vincent reached up to remove something from around his neck, handing it to Sephiroth. It was an exquisitely made locket. Sephiroth gently opened it, and found within a photograph of a bookish but lovely woman with a great deal of long brown hair. He stared at the picture, his hands beginning to shake. He sat down heavily on a discarded crate.

“I… I’ve never seen her.” He looked up at Vincent. “You knew her?”

He nodded. “We… were close.”

“Are you my father, then?”

“No.”

“But you know who my father is.”

“I do.”

“Then tell me. I have to know! All I have been told…”

“Is lies,” finished Vincent quietly. “You were conceived and born in this very house. And they lied to you before you were even a minute old. They took you from your mother, and fed you on poison and untruths. Your father bred you the way a breeder does a dog. He sought out a female who had qualities he desired for his experiment, and he bred you. Your mother cannot be held blameless in this. She let him, though I don’t believe she understood what the consequences would be. But he did. He even named you Sephiroth, after the vessels shattered by God to create the universe. He intended all along to shatter you, to bring about the destruction of this world, for what purpose I don’t know. Likely he didn’t either.” Vincent knelt on the dirt floor of the hall to look into Sephiroth’s eyes. “Your mother had her faults, but she was human, and she loved you. In the end she tried to protect you, though it was too little too late. Your father was human as well. They did things to you, and you were raised on lies to make you think you were something other than what you are. But you are human.”

“I’m…? Truly? I am not..?”

“A monster? No.” Vincent took the locket from Sephiroth’s hand, and hung it gently about his neck. After all, the picture would mean far more to Sephiroth. Vincent then smiled, stroking his hand over Sephiroth’s long, thick hair. “Well the colour is wrong, but you have her hair. She often complained about the weight of it. I told her once to cut it off if it was too heavy, but she said no, it was the only way people knew she was a woman once she had a lab coat on.” Vincent smiled faintly. “No one who had eyes could mistake Lucrecia for anything other than a woman, no matter what she wore.”

Sephiroth stared at him, green eyes large with confusion and pain, as well as a slight hint of madness. He was strained to the breaking point by the recent discovery in the mako reactor, and it would take little to crack him into pieces.

“But why would they do this to me?”

“Your mother was gifted with exceptional intelligence, but she was… naïve. I am not sure what arguments your father used to get her to agree to his plans, but he needed her. He needed her genius. Without Lucrecia, his greatest experiment would never be conceived, literally as well as figuratively. As I said, I doubt she understood what she was doing, but the theory was too enticing for her to ignore, though I confess I never understood it, even though you could say I’m a prototype. But your father was pure evil in human form. He saw only his experiment. He could care less what effect it had on you. But I can tell you this. If you go through that door and read those lies and let the things that have been done to you destroy you, all you will have done is fulfill the desires of a mad man. You are a hero, Sephiroth, and loved. Do not let the sickness of one man bring you down. Not when you are so far above him.”

Sephiroth’s lip trembled, and he lowered his head. When he spoke, his voice was tight with restrained tears. “I’m so tired. I have no idea who I am, and only vague hints to go by. How do I know you speak the truth?”

“I have her journal. I can show it to you, if you want to see it.”

Sephiroth’s head shot up, eyes wide, staring at Vincent. “You..?”

“Come. It’s upstairs.”

They left the basement passages, walking up from the filthy bowels of the house into the upper living areas. It was no longer used frequently, and was showing clear signs of neglect. The stairs and floorboards creaked threateningly as they crossed them. Vincent paused on the walkway that led to the bedrooms, listening. In the distance he could hear a young man’s voice, desperately shouting a name.

“Sephiroth!”

“That’s hardly fit behaviour for SOLDIER, First Class,” said Vincent.

“That’s Zack,” said Sephiroth. “An excellent fighter, but he tends to be emotional.”

“He seems concerned for you.”

Sephiroth shook his head. “I cannot help him right now. I have questions that demand answers.”

Vincent nodded, and the two walked into the nearest bedroom. Vincent had been obligated to share his room with the other Turks assigned to watch the scientists in the mansion. Lucrecia had been awarded her own room because of her position. It had made it dreadfully easy for her to betray Vincent. He was watched constantly, but she could come and go as she pleased.

They walked into the chamber. It too was showing signs of wear and neglect, but with the arrival of Shinra troops, someone had made a desperate attempt to make it liveable. The bedding was changed, the mattress turned, and a vase of flowers had been placed on the dresser. It was to this same dresser that Vincent now walked, opening the top drawer, using one clawed hand to sort through the delicate panties and small bras filling the drawer. Sephiroth crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow.

“And you know my mother kept her journal in her panty-drawer… how, precisely?”

Vincent smiled. “Never underestimate a young man desperate to learn if his love is being returned. Funny they didn’t take her things out when they cleaned the room.”

“Is… is she dead?”

Vincent shook his head, finding the small blue journal and removing it from the drawer, closing it. “I don’t know. She left after they took you away. I don’t know where she went. Perhaps that is why all this is still here. The original staff would have left her things, assuming she would return. The new staff would not think to check the drawers.” He turned and held the book to Sephiroth. “This, I think, she would want you to have.”

Sephiroth accepted the book, looking down at it, running his gloved hands over the faded blue cover. Outside, Zack cried desperately for his commander. Sephiroth glanced in the direction of the sound, but did not move. After a moment, he returned his gaze to the book.

“I have a mother. A woman, not a monster.”

Vincent nodded. “You have a mother.”

Sephiroth turned the book in his hands, bracing himself, finally daring it open it. Inside, trapped between the cover and the flyleaf, was a tiny lock of white fluff. Baby hair. He laughed in surprise. “Well. I’m human after all.” He closed the book and looked towards Vincent. “I can’t thank you enough for this. I… I truly don’t know what I would have done…”

Vincent walked towards him, drawing close. They were nearly the same height, Sephiroth only slightly taller than Vincent.

“Shinra is built on lies and subterfuge,” said Vincent softly. “If you want my advice, you would be better off quitting and taking up chocobo ranching.”

“Only if I can get someone to shovel the stalls.” He gazed at Vincent, bringing a hand up to touch his face. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I did far too little, and far too late.”

“No,” said Sephiroth quietly. “You didn’t. I don’t know your tale, but had you not approached me in the basement… I don’t know what I would have done. I… I don’t want to think about it.”

“You will be all right now,” said Vincent softly.

Sephiroth still seemed to have some doubts, but he was clearly better than he had been. He nodded. “I think I will be.”

He gazed into Vincent’s eyes, then drew him close, kissing him. He didn’t seem to know why he had done it, and it certainly came as a surprise to Vincent, but… it did not seem an unnatural response to the shedding of the dark emotions and rage that had been tormenting Sephiroth.

Vincent wanted to pull back, but didn’t. This was the son of the woman he had loved desperately, and there was something decidedly wrong about being with him. He had seen Sephiroth as a squalling newborn, and a part of him felt strongly he should not be doing this. But… there were other emotions as well. Sephiroth wasn’t Lucrecia, but he was a piece of her, and to have him reach for him in gratitude felt like forgiveness. Better. It felt like redemption.

Vincent relaxed and let Sephiroth kiss him. Outside in the street, Zack called for Sephiroth. Vincent gently broke off the kiss.

“Are you going to answer him?”

“In a minute. Or two.”

Sephiroth kissed him again, slipping the book into his coat pocket so that he could draw Vincent into his arms. They fell onto the bed in a swirl of black leather and red fabric, Vincent making a small cry of surprise.

“You don’t believe in wasting time, do you?”

Sephiroth kissed him. “Always wanted to make love to a strange man in a creepy old house.”

Vincent raised an eyebrow. “Nice to know you remembered me after all these years.”

Zack’s voice was becoming hoarse. “GENERAL SEPHIROTH!”

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Zack, find something else to do for a little while.”

“What will you do if he comes up here?”

“Force him to stand at attention with his nose in the corner.”

“He’s worried.”

“He’s a brat pretending to be a warrior.”

Sephiroth kissed Vincent, gloved hands slipping over his body, slowly opening the buckles on the cloak, kissing and nibbling his flesh. A thought seemed to occur to him.

“You knew my mother.”

“Yes.”

That was twenty-five years ago. You haven’t aged a day in all that time?”

“I’m undead.”

“Oh. Fancy that.”

“You know most men would flee after a revelation like that.”

Sephiroth smiled. It was not a nice smile. It was small and nasty, and his green eyes held an evil glint.

“I am many things, but I am not most men.”

“So I see.”

“SEPH-IR-OTH!”

“Oh Zack shut up, it’s like trying to make love when the cat wants in.”

Vincent made a small sound of amusement. Sephiroth kissed him and resumed slowly undressing him.

“What’s your name?”

“Vincent.”

“Pleased to meet you. I’m…”

“SEPH!”

“Oh now he’s getting cheeky.”

They undressed, slipping between the clean sheets, so out of place in amidst the encroaching decay. They drew each other close, caressing warm flesh, kissing, their skin taking on a soft sheen in the dusty light. The room was quiet save for the gentle rustle of fabric, and the hushed gasps and cries of the pair in the bed. Sephiroth kissed Vincent’s pale skin, thrusting slowly into his slender body, relishing their time together and the slow rise in passion, careful not to reach the finish too soon. Vincent likewise did not want it to end, not yet. He had needed this. He had not realized how badly he had needed it, feeling as if so much of the past turmoil he had suffered was slowly flaking, like paper ash crumbling to dust. The outside world seemed to fade away, and until it was only the two of them left, comforting each other in the place where so much misery had begun, seeking and finding consolation together, sharing and understanding emotions neither could explain to another human being.

Vincent held Sephiroth tightly, crying out, feeling his own semen spilling hot and wet over his stomach as Sephiroth, shuddered, spending himself deep within him. They clung together, gasping and crying out, desperately hanging onto each other as well as the last fading remains of ecstasy. Then, quietly, they separated, lying in each other’s arms, panting. Sephiroth kissed Vincent’s hair, eyes closed.

“I don’t want to leave,” said Sephiroth quietly.

“You can’t stay here. There is nothing here for you. There is nothing here for me anymore, either.”

“Where will you go?”

“I don’t know. But… I can’t stay here and mourn any longer. I think… I think it is time to put all this behind me.”

“Will I see you again?”

“I don’t know.”

Sephiroth raised his head. “But… after all this…”

Zack screamed in the street, sounding desperate. Vincent slowly sat up, looking in the direction of the cry. Through the dirty windows he could see the young man franticly searching for his commanding officer. He was tearing the entire town apart. Vincent kept his eyes on him, reaching down to take Sephiroth’s hand.

“I wasted my one great love. Don’t waste yours.”

Sephiroth blinked, looking surprised. He sat up. “Zack? No, you are mistaken, he is not in love with me, he’s…”

“He’s disrupting an entire community to find you. Is that the act of an underling, or is that the act of a man in love?”

Sephiroth looked out the window, and laughed despite himself. Zack had every man he could find mobilized. They were searching the fields, the houses, the barns, the inn… Sephiroth sighed heavily, and laughed again.

“Dear Zack. How blind I have been. I really should go out there and stop this nonsense.” He glanced at Vincent, green eyes soft and thoughtful. “I would still like to see you again. There is so much you can tell me.”

Vincent nodded. “I will be around. But not here. It is time to leave this place.”

“Then how shall I find you?”

“I will find you. Don’t worry. I won’t leave you to face this life alone. But take my advice. Leave Shinra. And if you will not leave Shinra, then stand well clear of Hojo. He will destroy you if he can.”

“Is… he…?”

“Yes.”

Sephiroth nodded. “I suspected as much. I have heard things. I had hoped it was not true.”

“It is, unfortunately. Stay away from him. He intends to hurt you. He will have his theories proven, and to do that he must destroy your mind and soul.”

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. “Have no fear my friend. After all, accidents happen.”

They rose from the bed, dressing in silence. The day was failing, and Zack’s hysteria was audible.

“I should demote him for behaviour unbecoming his rank,” grumbled Sephiroth, closing his coat and straightening the locket about his throat. The tarnished silver was dull grey against his white flesh. “I always was fond of the little nuisance, though. I wonder why I never saw before…?”

The front door to the manor house was smashed open, and there was the sound of combat boots heading across the floor and up the stairs. Sephiroth turned his head to look at the bedroom door just as Vincent turned to smoke and dust behind him, dropping to the floor and slithering silently under the bed. He emerged on the other side and made his way into the closet, leaving the door ajar as he rematerialized so he could watch what was happening. Zack suddenly appeared in the doorway, and cried out with relief as he spied Sephiroth. He ran towards him, throwing his arms around him, holding him tightly as his body quivered with emotion.

“Oh my god baby you had me scared to death!”

“BABY?! Major Fair I really do not…”

“Fuck Major Fair, call me Zack. Call me Hubert if you want. Call me fucking court-martialled but never scare me like that again!” He squeezed his eyes shut, stroking his hand over the long white hair, then repeated in a tight whisper; “Never scare me like that again.”

Sephiroth looked over his shoulder, seeking Vincent’s assistance, but he was not to be seen. He turned back towards Zack.

“Major…”

Zack kissed him, hard, holding the much taller man close. He released him after a moment, then began looking him over.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where were you, I was fucking frantic!”

Sephiroth snapped at him. “Major need I remind you that I am your commanding officer?!”

Zack was not listening, and he was not relenting. He reached up to take Sephiroth’s head in his hands, looking into the green eyes, speaking with quiet intensity.

“I don’t give a damn if you are the Grand Moog of Mars,” he said softly. “I love you. Now you can throw me out of this room and down the stairs and out of the army if it makes you happy, but I love you. I’ve loved you a very long time, and it’s high time I said so. Now before you hand me a cigarette and a blindfold for my behaviour, swear to me you will never scare me like that again.”

Sephiroth was shocked by Zack’s words into a sort of meek subservience. Vincent doubted it would last long.

“I promise,” said Sephiroth softy.

Zack continued to fuss over his officer. “And you’re okay? You’re not hurt?”

“I’m not hurt.”

“And we are gonna leave this shit hole and forget all about this Jenova crap, right? I don’t care what anyone told you, that thing is not your mother.”

“I know that now. I… I’m sorry I worried you, I… I was finding things out. But you’re right. We did what we came here to do. Let’s leave.” Sephiroth smiled faintly. “With your permission, of course.”

Zack grinned. “Yeah sure. And if you’re good I’ll let you shine my medals.”

“How about you start behaving right now and I don’t report you?”

“That works, too.”

Sephiroth laughed, shaking his head. “Zack, I cannot for a moment think why it took a near tragedy for me to see what you mean to me, but… now that I see you… I won’t lose sight of you again.”

He lowered his head and kissed him softly, the pair holding each other close. Vincent smiled, and once more turned to mist, slithering across the floor and out of the room, making his way down the stairs and out of the mansion, never to return.

He’d heard Rocket Town was a nice area. Maybe he would head there…