The Bitch is Back

Rating: PG
Category: AU
Pairing(s): Andy/Yazoo
Warnings: none
Summary: Yazoo’s self-confidence has taken a bit of a hit, so he takes a page from the Book Of Seph.
Notes: The sixth of the donation fics for Pyro. This one is for madhatter1313, who wanted some Andy/Yazzy. Hon I am DEEPLY and SINCERELY sorry for forgetting this.

I was justified when I was five,
Raising cane, I spit in your eye.
Times are changing, now the poor get fat,
But the fever’s gonna catch you when the bitch gets back.

Eat meat on Friday that’s alright,
Even like steak on a Saturday night.
I can bitch the best at your social dos,
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue.

I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch,
Oh the bitch is back.
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact.
I can bitch, I can bitch,
‘cause I’m better than you.
It’s the way that I move.
The things that I do…

I entertain by picking brains,
Sell my soul by dropping names.
I don’t like those, my god, what’s that?
Oh it’s full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back.

There was no denying Yazoo’s self-confidence had taken a very large hit. Andy could tell it had. He had been through so very many changes, far more so than the average angst-riddled teen. In very little time he had gone from a mindless killing machine to a very puzzled and wide-eyed kid who really had no idea how to interact with the children his own age. He couldn’t go to school, rarely had a chance to be around other teens, and to top it all off Hojo had rearranged his body chemistry to a ludicrous degree. It was a little hard to blend in when one was the only teenaged boy with morning sickness around.

Andy understood all too well that feeling of self-doubt. He had lived with it his entire life. Boys like Sheldon never felt it for a second; their lives were mapped out in bright happy colours like those paper placemats with the maze on them in family restaurants. Difficulties were few and easily solved, and life went on, while Andy had to struggle for every single simple thing that was handed to Sheldon with barely a glance.

Andy liked Sheldon. But he could honestly say there were times when he despised him too.

“Hey Stick-Boy!”

Andy sighed as he dug through his locker for his books. “What is it, Sheldon?”

“You going to the dance Friday?”

“With who? My sister?”

“No, with the prime piece of blonde real-estate sitting outside on the killer bike.”

“I don’t know, Sheldon. Yazzy’s a bit nervy for that much concentrated teen angst and melodrama.”

“Man what is with you?” said Sheldon. “He’s stunning! If he was mine I would show him off to the world!”

“He’s just a little shaken after what Hojo did to him. And the morning sickness and crying jags don’t help.”

“Can’t you fix him?”

“I’m working on it.”

“Well I’m going.”

“Oh yeah? Who with? I thought Linda Boyd dumped you.”

“She did.” He grinned. “So I asked her sister Taffy out.”

Andy grinned. “Oh Sheldon, that is low.”

“Too bad. I was faithful. I even bought her that green sweater she liked that she couldn’t afford, and my dad almost crapped a catfish when he saw the charge on my card. And suddenly she’s off with Raymond Keller? I thought she was different.”

“How old is Taffy?”

“Sixteen. She’s only eleven months younger than Linda. And in the same grade. And a cheerleader.” He grinned. “Looks and brains.”

“Congratulations. You now have every teen boy’s dream; a foxy girl who can do your homework.” Andy found the books he sought and closed his locker. “I don’t know, Sheldon. Yazzy’s never been to a dance, and Kelly Fifer, Gail Stockand and my sister have been all over him since Hojo hurt him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it without killing them. His whole world has been rocked to its foundation and those three harpies won’t let up for a second. It’s not fair.”

Sheldon shrugged. “You can’t shield him from harpies, Andy. He’s going to have to learn.”

“I know, I just don’t want to blood on my text books when he finally snaps.”

Sheldon laughed. “Well me and Taffy are going. Let me know if you and the Silver Fox wanna join us.”

“Okay Sheldon, thanks.”

Andy and Sheldon parted ways, and Andy left the school to find Yazoo in front of the building as usual, surrounded by admirers, both male and female. Andy could feel the resentment levelled at himself from the small gathering as Yazoo dismissed them for his beloved.

“Am I pretty?”

“Gorgeous,” said Andy, getting onto the bike behind Yazoo.

“I’ve been asked to the dance Friday. I’ve never been. Are we going?”

The girl who had asked Yazoo looked annoyed. Clearly she had wanted him to go with her.

“Would you like to?” asked Andy.

Yazoo shrugged, then started the bike forward. He remained silent until they reached Andy’s house, and he parked the enormous machine on the front lawn. Andy sat quietly behind him, waiting for Yazoo to voice his concerns. He didn’t have to wait long.

“I just don’t know if I belong. I was already different. But now…”

Andy ran his hands over the leather-covered shoulders. “Yazzy what do you care what other people think?”

“I never used to care at all. I did as I was told and that was it. But… things are all different now. And sometimes I am afraid. I was so brave when I was a puppet. It was so much easier. Others pulled the strings and I jumped and danced and never thought once about what I was doing.” He turned around on the motorcycle so he could look into Andy’s eyes. “It is harder to think for myself.”

“I know,” said Andy, taking his hand. “Harder and scarier.”

“How do you know if what you do is right? How do you know if something you have done is a mistake?”

“I don’t always,” said Andy quietly. “We all make mistakes, Yazzy. Some are small, and some are big. We can’t always know how our actions will turn out. All we can do is try to be good people.” He stroked the long, silvery hair. “Yazzy what’s wrong? You haven’t been happy in so long.”

“I just have more to worry about,” he said softly. “I haven’t been disconnected from Mother for very long. I… I feel so lost inside.”

Andy smiled. “Yazoo believe it or not that makes you like pretty much every other teenager on the planet. You’re not a kid, but you’re not an adult, your body has all these cool new urges and you’re not allowed to do anything with them… not that it stops us…”

Yazoo smiled slightly. “But you’re going to grow up. I’m not. I’m going to be seventeen forever.”

“No,” said Andy, “you will just look like it. But your mind will grow. You will learn, and grow in other ways. You’ll become wiser, and more learned, and more self-confident, and all the while you will still be just as strikingly beautiful as you are now. It’s… not really a bad trade if you think about it. And think of all the scandal we’ll cause when we walk into a room. People will say; ‘there’s that Dr. Kindle and his young tart! How can he get away with having a boy that young for a lover?’ And we’ll know you’re really a few months older than me.”

Yazoo smiled faintly. “And what about our children?”

“Yazzy we’ve got years to think about that. Considering the lifespan of the average genetically engineered warrior is one hundred and fifty… we’ve got a lot of time to fix what Hojo did to you, and you will probably still be young enough to have as many babies as you want.”

Yazoo glanced up at Andy, the green eyes hopeful. “Do you think so?”

Andy nodded. “Yeah. I do.” He inclined his head forward and kissed him softly, lingering in the closeness. “You want to come in for a while?”

Yazoo shook his head. “No. I promised Big Brother I would watch the children while he, Zack and Loz went to get the hill ready to start building the new house.”

“Okay.” Andy kissed him again. “I’ll call you later.”

He got off the bike and watched as Yazoo drove off, heading home.

“Poor Yazzy,” he said softly. “Don’t worry. I’ll make everything okay. Somehow.”

***---***

Yazoo arrived at Cloud’s villa, parking his motorcycle near the stairs that lead up to the yellow house. He thought about what Andy had said, but he didn’t know how he felt about it. Once everything had seemed so easy, so certain. Now…? He didn’t know. It was easy for Andy to talk about everything being okay. He didn’t know what it felt like to have Hojo and Mother force him to submit to those experiments. It still haunted his dreams, and when he woke up he still felt the needle punching through flesh…

He would never forget what that felt like.

Yazoo slogged up the steps to the house, reaching the door and pushing it open. The place was silent. Puzzled, Yazoo looked around.

“Is anybody home?”

“I am.”

Yazoo walked through the kitchen and stepped into the livingroom, spying Sephiroth in all his cold beauty. He was dressed in his leathers, his sword across his back, his long hair spilling down his back… and for once he did not have Akira attached to his ankle.

“Where is everyone?” asked Yazoo.

“I sent them on ahead. I wished to speak with you alone. I know you have been unhappy lately.”

Yazoo sighed. Yes of course Sephiroth would know he had been miserable; didn’t he, Loz and Sephiroth all share a psychic link? Yazoo walked over to Reno’s elaborate nesting chair and curled up in it, sinking into the down-filled cushion.

“I do not know how to be happy anymore. When Hojo shoved that needle into me…”

Yazoo’s eyes clouded. He did not like to cry; it was a frightening and unusual sensation for him, and he did not like feeling out of control. He gasped, trying to hold back the tears as Sephiroth seated himself beside him in the large chair.

“He had no right to do that,” said Sephiroth. “And I will not tell you not to be hurt and upset by it. He was wrong. And Mother was wrong. I wish it had not happened. But Yazoo… there is hope. You are young, and Andy is doing all he can to help. I do not believe he will fail easily, if at all.”

“I know Andy is doing what he can,” said Yazoo. “And he says the same thing you do; that he will do what he can to help. But it is not my faith in him that is shaken, it is me. I find myself worrying about who I am, and what I am.”

Sephiroth smiled slightly. “Is that all? Yazoo I can tell you who you are. You are me. You are my blood, my bone, my flesh. You are my thoughts and moods, created of my body to be me. In many ways you are more my child than my own children. You are my flesh, my family, my child and my twin. You are me. And I, my little darling one, am a bitch.”

Yazoo’s eyes grew large, and his jaw fell in astonishment at hearing the being Mother had raised him to revere as a god speak of himself thusly.

“You cannot say such things!”

“Oh believe me, child, I can. And I will, though no one else dares to.” Sephiroth’s eyes gleamed, and a wicked little smile played about his lips. “I am Queen Bitch. I am the Bitch Goddess. I am all that and eight bags of chips, and a bottle of Chivas. I am beautiful and I am dangerous, mother and murderer, life and death. I am hero and villain, night and day, the best and worst. I am Sephiroth, the Shattered Vessel, destroyer of planets. And you, little Yazoo, are me.” He smiled faintly, his eyes gleaming ever so slightly, showing a cold glint like iced metal on snow. “So let’s have no more of this talk, hmm?” He gently toyed with Yazoo’s long white hair. “People like Hojo and their petty vicious games are nothing to the likes of us. They cannot hurt us, Yazoo. We are beyond them. You will heal. Andy and I will make sure of it. And all your dreams will be yours to hold and nurture and make live. Your world has changed but not you. You are still everything you were made to be; alive and strong, still a cub to be nurtured but you are the cub of a tiger, and the trivial, cruel, small-minded parasites of this world who try to make you cower at their feet are nothing.”

Sephiroth put one gloved hand under Yazoo’s chin and tipped his face up so he could look into his eyes, reaching up with his free hand to lightly brush aside the long hair.

“But…” said Yazoo softly, green eyes shining with worry. “But I…”

“Hush child. I had to wait until I was in my thirties for Zack to help me see who I am. I’ll not see you wait so long. One madman with a needle will not be enough to shake my baby’s confidence. You’re still brave. I promise. ”

“But… how do I know? I don’t feel very brave these days.”

“Yazzy darling, who repeatedly kicked Cloud’s ass?”

“You?”

“Who destroyed Shinra Tower?”

“You.”

“Who nailed Rufus Shinra’s father to his own desk with a sword like a pin through a butterfly?”

“You.”

“Who almost smote this planet into a big cosmic grease stain?”

“You.”

“And whose blood flows through your veins?”

“Yours.”

Sephiroth smiled. “That’s right. That’s how I know you’re still brave. All you need are a few lessons from a master in how to showcase all your natural talents.”

“You?” said Yazoo.

“Oh no, baby bird, not me. Try as a might I could never reach that level of arrogance. We are talking about a man so egotistical, so full of himself, so impossibly conceited that drag queens flee in terror at the mere mention of his name. Fashion critics quiver under their desks. Reno follows him around taking notes.”

“Rufus Shinra?”

“That’s the bitch I’m talking about. Come along, Yazoo. We need to remind you of who and what you are.”

***---***

Andy stood next to Sheldon outside the garishly decorated gym, waiting for their respective dates to arrive. Taffy Boyd arrived first, dressed in a gown that looked like emerald green mercury, with matching high heels and jewellery. Taffy was one of the luckiest girls in school; her mother was a petite woman with excellent taste in clothing and did not mind sharing with her daughters. Taffy looked fantastic as she stepped out of her dad’s blue car. She waved at Sheldon, then came jogging over to greet him, smiling brightly, her high heels making quiet ‘splish!’ sounds as she ran through the shallow little puddles on the concrete caused by a light summer rain. Emerging from the car after her were Kelly Fifer and Gail Stockand, then Andy’s twin sister Andrea, then finally Linda, who did not look amused in the least that she had been replaced so easily.

“Sheldon may I speak to you?” she asked irritably.

“Nope,” he said. “But there’s Raymond. Go talk to him.”

“Oh my god it’s nerd-boy,” said Gail, curling her lip at Andy. “I didn’t know they let losers go to dances. Where’s your little emo gay-boy?”

“He’s coming,” said Andy. “Just lay off him, okay? He’s been through a lot lately, he’s a bit emotional.”

“Oh what-ev-er!” said Kelly. “Like other people don’t have problems too, but you don’t hear them whining about it.”

“Uh-huh,” said Sheldon. “Who sat in the middle of the hall at lunch that one time a few weeks back and threw a for-real temper tantrum because you got gravy on your shoe?”

“Well those shoes were expensive!”

Andy glanced up as a lean black motorcycle purred into view, the rider pulling gracefully into a parking place before shutting off the engine. Yazoo slid off the mighty machine and walked over to Andy, pouncing on him and kissing him.

“Am I pretty?”

“Wow! Yazzy you look fantastic. I mean… well I like you in black leather anyway but… wow.”

“Rufus took me shopping,” said Yazoo. “He said a boy’s first dance is important. Do you like my outfit?”

‘Like’ was not the word. Andy was not sure what would he should use. He was wearing fine soft black leather that fit his slender frame like a second skin; black shirt, gloves, pants and boots. The pants were decorated with straps and buckles, and the boots went far up his thighs, held closed with matching buckles, silver chains around one delicate ankle, the heels just high enough to make his slender legs look longer than they were without being ludicrous. Topping the outfit off was some sort of duster that opened up the left side, exposing a lot of leg; the split ending at the top of his hip. It made Yazzy look like something out of a manga, especially with the added touch of his long, silky white hair. Andy’s jaw worked, but it took a little time before he managed to say anything.

“You… you look great Yazzy. Like… wow.”

Yazoo seemed pleased. “Later on you can take it off me.”

“Yeah with a can of paint remover,” said Kelly disdainfully. “How did you put that on, with some axel grease and a shoe horn?”

Andy winced. He was about to try to defend his lover in his own inept way when Yazoo slowly turned to face Kelly, crossing his arms, his weight shifting to one hip. Andy felt a rush of delight as he recognized his Yazoo, the same pretty boy who once informed him that he was ugly. Andy had never been so glad to see anyone in his life.

“Stand back, Sheldon, innocent bystanders could get hurt,” said Andy as Yazoo tossed his long white hair back in preparation of a verbal assault

“Oh hi, Kelly. Oh I love your hair, did you do that yourself? I mean it must have taken hours but I figure a girl like you has a lot of free time. And those shoes are just smashing, I would have thought wearing brown with blue wouldn’t work, personally, you’re so brave blending colours and fashions like that, you can hardly tell at all that dress is three years out of date. Oh and Gail my goodness, aren’t you the little fashion plate. I would have never in a million years thought of stealing designer labels to sew into my Wal-Mart clothes. Little tip for you though, girlfriend, take the old tags out first, makes it harder to spot. Andrea! Well how lovely to see you! I’m really glad you switched the water bra for the padded one, it makes your boobs look less silicon-like, but you really should take out the tissues, those strobe lights they have at these dances just show up everything and you’ll look like you’re smuggling pigeon eggs in there. Too bad for you, those zits you painted over with concealer are just going to show up like little ugly red eyeballs all over your face. But I wouldn’t really worry about it, no one will notice I’m sure. They’ll all be far too focused on that perfect little line that the waistband of those support-hose cuts across your middle. Little tip? Don’t send your granny out to buy your lingerie for you, it never turns out well. But what a beautiful dress! Isn’t it amazing what they can do with polyester these days. It almost looks like something you paid money for. Well! See you three inside then.”

Yazoo turned to take Andy’s arm and strutted into the gym like a model, the long skirts of his leather coat swaying, leaving the three girls gaping in shock. Andy just followed along as best he could, jaw hanging.

“Yazzy?!” he asked in astonishment. “Holy cats is that you?!”

“I’m feeling a little better,” Yazoo admitted sheepishly.

“I guess you are. Wow! I don’t think Gail, Kelly and Andrea know what hit them.”

“Yeah well they deserve a small taste of their own medicine. They were more than happy to jump all over me, and I’ve never done anything to them. They barely even know me. Big Brother said I shouldn’t pay any attention to them and then sent me out with Mr. Shinra for what they called ‘retail therapy’. That’s where I got my outfit.” Yazoo did a little pirouette for Andy. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah it’s fantastic! Hey this is your first dance, you want me to show you around?”

Yazoo paused as he glanced about at the interior of the gym, both hands holding Andy’s as he rose up on his toes to peer around in curiosity. Andy smiled, feeling his heart melt over Yazoo’s beauty, and how glad he was to see the bright-eyed, socially inept clone he knew and loved.

“What’s he doing?” asked Yazoo, indicating a boy across the room setting up a booth.

“He’s the DJ,” said Andy. “He will be playing the music for tonight.”

“If I ask do you think he will play a song for me?”

“Well we can see if he as it.”

Yazoo released Andy’s hand and began jogging over to the DJ. Andy watched as Yazoo moved lightly and swiftly across the floor, hair swaying. He looked so delicate, like a puff of dandelion fluff blowing across the floor… the gods help anyone the fragile little flower accidentally crashed into. Andy followed Yazoo to the DJ booth, stopping beside him.

“Can I request a song?” Yazoo asked the DJ.

“If I have it,” the boy said.

“I have it,” said Yazoo. He reached into his coat and pulled out a CD. “There you go.”

“Awesome. Yeah okay just let me get set up and I’ll slip it into the play list. What’s it called?”

Yazoo’s eyes gleamed, and he cast Andy an amused look, eyes shining with that familiar mischievous light that Andy had missed so desperately for so long. Yazoo reached out and took his hand, then gave him a light kiss before turning to look once more at the DJ, who was poised to mark down the name of the song on his list. Yazoo leaned forward to watch him write, lifting one foot coyly as he crossed his arms one the edge of the wooden booth.

“The Bitch. Is. Back.”

“And we’re so glad he is,” said Andy quietly.

Yazoo turned his head to smile at Andy once more, his long white hair stringing over his face. He held a gloved hand out to him as the music began to play.

“Come. You’re going to teach me to dance.”

“I am?” asked Andy.

“Don’t you know how?”

“No, I have no clue. Don’t you?”

“Oh I’m sure we can figure something out.” Yazoo took his hand and began leading him to the dance floor. “Come on, Chip! Let’s try the Tango first.”

“I’m not sure you can Tango to ‘Gangster’s Paradise’.”

“Let’s find out.”

It wasn’t easy, of course. But they managed.