One-Winged Christmas Angel

Rating: PG
Category: AU
Pairing(s): None
Warnings: None
Summary: Sephiroth finds he’s still having a little trouble adjusting.
Notes: This is all twignfinck's fault. Behold the plot-bunny that launched a thousand ships…

Twign -> who thinks that if Seph saw Santa for the first time, the wings would be out along with the sword. I don't think they'd celebrate Christmas in the lab (when Seph was little).

Cloud and Zack were having tea in a small sitting room of Shinra Manor, one that offered a view of the inside of the massive ballroom, which was lavishly decorated for Christmas. He and Reno were spending the holiday with Rufus, and because they were, that meant the whole crew was there, including Zack’s brood as well as the remnants. The house was filled with children. There was Rufus’ adopted brood of fourteen, Zack’s four, then Kin, and Loz easily counted as four. Cloud could not help but notice Rufus had somehow managed to vanish, leaving himself, Reeve, and Zack chasing the kids. Actually mostly they were supervising Yazoo, who was chasing the kids. Currently Yazoo was attempting to extract Shinra Adoptee Number Six from the branches of the twenty foot Christmas tree.

“So how does Baby like Christmas?” asked Cloud.

“Baby is utterly perplexed by Christmas,” said Zack. “They did not have Christmas in the lab. No trees, or presents, or jolly fat men in red suits.”

“Has he ever seen Santa Claus?” asked Cloud.

“Yeah he’s seen him. He’s deeply suspicious of him, but he’s seen him. Baby’s not real big on jolly old fat men who bellow ‘Ho Ho Ho’ at the drop of a hat. I hate to think what the fallout would be if he and ol’ Saint Nick ever met face to face.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow. In the background Yazoo tried to intercept Miki before she had a chance to tie Shinra Adoptee Number Three up in Christmas tree lights.

“You don’t think Sephiroth would hurt Santa Claus, do you?”

“Do I think he would hunt him down like a dog? No of course not, don’t be silly. Do I think he would react badly if suddenly confronted by him? Oh yes.” Zack chuckled. Then a thought seemed to cross his mind. “Say you don’t think Rufus is planning on…?”

Right on cue, they heard a loud and merry “Ho! Ho! Ho!” ring out from the ballroom, followed by; “Merry… HOLY FUCKING SHIT! ZACK!!”

Before Zack even had a chance to react, one jolly old fat man in a red suit came firing out of the ballroom, screaming his fool head off, chased hotly by a sword-waving winged maniac, determined to protect his babies from this bizarre monster. Zack and Cloud watched Rufus Shinra flee for his life as within the ballroom nineteen children and one Loz wailed that Baby was killing Santa Claus.

“So,” said Cloud, setting down his tea as he rose to his feet to help Zack catch Baby before he turned Rufus into very expensive fish sticks, “are you going to have a fireplace in the new house?”

“No,” said Zack. “And I think I’ll post a big fat ‘no reindeer allowed’ sign on the roof just to be safe.”