Hey Hey We're the Monkees
Part Two

Rating: R
Category: AU
Pairing(s): Cloud/Reno, Cid/Vincent, Zack/Sephiroth
Warnings: Some violence, SOLDIERS acting badly, some drunken OOC behaviour.
Summary: The bender to end all benders continues.
Notes: For Gothy! Who wanted a fic where Zack and Cid were the ones having fits for a change.
I would like to point out that portions of this chapter include things that I and my friends have actually done. I just ain’t sayin’ which parts.

If you haven't read Part One, click here.

“Here we come,
Walkin’ down the street.
We get the funniest looks from
Ev’ryone we meet…”
- The Monkees.

“Card’s not working,” Genesis observed boozily.

“Why’d’ya think it’s not working?” asked Sephiroth, leaning against the wall beside the liquor store counter.

“Gimme that,” said Vincent.

He plucked the card out of Genesis’ hand and laid it on the counter so that the tiny metallic chip imbedded into the card was facing him. Delicately, carefully, he used one of his brass claws to ever so carefully score a portion of the chip, watched by his fellow drunks in arms. He then gave it to the clerk.

“There. Was jus’ a little …hic!…dirty.”

The clerk clearly had his doubts, but when he tried it, he found it worked perfectly. He rang up their purchase, and gave Vincent the card back. The four embezzlers then beat it out of the shop before the police showed up, piling into their car. This was the fourth one they had rented; getting a new one each time their driver’s shift ended. The company was positively in love with them, and was sending prayers to the gods of business that the bender never ended. As they flopped into the soft interior, each with his libation of choice, Angeal voiced the question the others were too drunk to ask.

“Wha’ did you do to that card? You….hic!… didn’t clean no dirt off of it.”

“Nope,” said Vincent, looking smug. “I sure as fuck didn’t. See… being a Shadow Turk… part of my training involves bypassing difficulties. Like… if the credit card don’ work… you use a razor or like device to score the portion of the chip that tells you what your limit is and when you have exceeded it. Comes in very handy when the kids need new boots and the bank account is dry.”

“Dude,” said Genesis blearily. “We are gonna be in soooooooo much trouble.”

Sephiroth made a loud noise of derision. “Wha’ are they gonna do? Arrest us? I’d like to see that! Hey driver!”

“Yes sir?”

“We would like to see the beach. I have an urge to swim naked.”

“Right. You want the private beach all the snobs go to or the public one?”

“Snobs of course.”

“Yes sir.”

“I protest!” said Vincent. “I’m not taking my clothes off until it’s dark! I’ll guard the booze. Oh hey look… a bar we haven’t tried yet.”

“Beach first, then bar,” said Sephiroth.

“There’s a bar on the beach,” said the driver.

“Well there ya go,” said Sephiroth boozily, looking pleased with himself.

They arrived at the beach, and true to the driver’s word, there was an open-air bar. The day was warm and clear, and a light breeze blew across the sand. Vincent couldn’t help but notice everyone was beautiful and tanned, and wearing the tiniest swimsuits he had ever seen in his life.

“Things have certainly changed since I was alive,” Vincent commented as three beautiful women slowly paraded by, topless and wearing only thong bikini bottoms. “The last time I went to the beach, you couldn’t show your navel.”

“It’s fine,” said Genesis dismissively. “I don’t think anybody is gonna be lookin’ at their navels. They got nuthin’ to worry about.”

Vincent continued to watch after the trio of beauties. Angeal gave him a light push.

“Yer not s’posed to be lookin’ at pretty ladies, yer married.”

“I’m married, not… yeah whatever, let’s just go to the bar.”

The four drunks wandered into the bar and picked out a table, seating themselves. Angeal picked up a menu and looked at it.

“Crap. They’re gonna make us eat.”

“They can’t do that,” said Genesis with alcoholic indignation. “This is a bar, not a restaurant!”

“Yeah but they have honey-garlic boneless ribs and chicken wings.”

There was a long drunken pause.

“Conniving bastards,” said Sephiroth.

“I want something with noodles in it,” said Genesis. “I’m… totally craving noodles. Oooh they have miso nikomi udon! I’m having that!”

“You realize that if we eat we risk sobering up,” said Sephiroth.

“We’ll just have to drink more,” said Angeal.

A waitress walked over, wearing a neat pink blouse and very short black skirt. “Hi! I’m Julie, I’ll be your waitress today. Can I get you gentlemen something to drink?”

Sephiroth gave drunken but very explicit directions regarding exactly what sort of wine he expected to be served. The waitress smiled and went off to get it for him. Meanwhile, on a small TV that was on near the bar, a news report interrupted a televised concert. The four at the table watched with inebriate interest as the programme cut to a dishevelled and angry Rufus Shinra, flanked by his loyal husband and equally loyal Turks. His red hair was askew, and he seemed harried and angry; a most unusual look for him. News reporters were firing questions at him.

“Mr. Shinra! Is it possible that Sephiroth, Angeal and Genesis are resuming their quest to destroy the planet?”

Rufus’ voice dripped sarcasm and venom. “Yes they are trashing the planet one bar at a time. This is a bender, dear, the only things they are interested in destroying are their own livers and my credit rating.”

Angeal looked at Genesis. “I don’t recall anything about destroying…”

“Hush dear, thinking will just make you sober,” said Genesis.

“Makes you sterile too,” said Vincent.

Angeal grinned a most evil grin. “Well then I guess that’s why Cid had sperm enough to give you twins and a daughter.”

Vincent socked him one. As Angeal fell over, Sephiroth loudly hushed them. On screen Rufus continued to suffer a grilling.

“Mr. Shinra are you not in the least bit concerned about three SOLDIER First Class warriors running loose in…?”

“They are not running loose! They are having a bender! They are not doing anything that any of us have not done, and frankly if this was Bill, Bob and Brad from the factory down the road none of you would care! The only reason you are even here is because you are trying to whip the public into a fear-frenzy and boost your ratings. Not one of them would hurt anyone who didn’t try to hurt them first.”

“Mr. Shinra! Was the burning of the bar an act of industrial sabotage?”

Rufus slowly cocked his head to one side, a sneer of utter disbelief on his face.

“Is this an especially bad day for you, or are you always this fucking stupid? WHAT, if ANY, threat to me is a small out-of-the way biker bar?”

“Mr. Shinra is it true that you are performing experiments that enable homosexuals to breed as an attack on traditional marriage and family values?”

“Trust me, the homosexuals in question discovered they could breed entirely by accident.”

“A lie!” said Sephiroth with alcoholic indignation. “It took months of deliberate manipulation and concentration.” He looked at Angeal. “Can you get pregnant?”

“Probably but I’d really rather not. Looks much better on Gen.”

“Besides,” said Genesis, “If Angeal has an erection I’m not wasting it. I like my man like I like my drinks – stiff and inside me.”

Angeal kissed him. “You’re so cute.”

“You’re getting me pregnant after you sober up. I insist.” Genesis looked at Sephiroth. “Any volunteers to help babysit?”

“Assuming I don’t crumble to peer pressure and get pregnant with my own. Hey I have to ask you something…” Sephiroth looked to Angeal. “When Zack and I first saw you again… you said Genesis wanted to get pregnant as soon as he found out that I had babies. So… if he wanted to get pregnant when he found out that I had babies… how come your babies are older than my babies?”

Genesis and Angeal exchanged glances, then Genesis lowered his head.

“I hit a nerve,” said Sephiroth softly. “I’m sorry.”

Genesis drew a steadying breath, then raised his head and smiled. “We’ll discuss it another time, dearest friend. I believe the point of this misadventure is to forget dark things for a while.”

“It is,” said Sephiroth.

He leaned across the table, and Angeal and Vincent watched as the two friends kissed. In all likelihood the kiss was meant innocently, but given the current level of alcohol and emotion… it didn’t quiet end up that way.

“I’m confused,” said Angeal, watching his diminutive husband tongue-wrestle with the Silver Tiger. “Should I be pissed off or turned on?”

“I’m staying neutral,” said Vincent. “One half of that equation is my baby.”

“Vincent?”

“Yes?”

Angeal stared fixedly at the pair as they kissed. “You make real pretty babies.”

“Thank you. Stay away from my children.”

Angeal laughed quietly. It looked so strange on him. Vincent did not know him well, but he, like the rest of them, was weighted down by too much past darkness. It was rare to see any of them laugh, or be silly, or just have fun. Such a shame they had to get loaded to the gills in order to forget the pain they all still lived in.

Sephiroth and Genesis parted, looking very pleased with themselves.

“See all you missed by being such a virgin all your life?” said Genesis.

“I was only a virgin until I began hanging around with Zack. I forgot to take into account how crafty he is. Bastard said I was pretty and he liked me.”

“The fiend,” said Vincent.

The waitress came up with no less than five bottles of wine; two of the variety Sephiroth ordered, and three more of equal quality but a different type.

“Where did these come from?” asked Sephiroth, puzzled.

“Well one you ordered, one came from the two businessmen in the corner, one came from the strange guy in a raincoat, and two came from the table full of women to the left in appreciation for the show you put on.”

Sephiroth and Genesis slowly turned their heads to look at the group of women, who cheered as they were spotted. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

“Gen?”

“Hm?”

“I think I know how to get more wine.”

Vincent raised his eyebrow. “Don’t tell your Grandmother you were out here whoring yourself for booze.”

“I’ll tell her it was drugs.”

They ordered lunch, which arrived quickly. Genesis looked into his bowl, staring at his order quizzically.

“This isn’t udon.”

Angeal peered at the noodles. “That’s udon.”

“No it’s not, these are too thin to be udon noodles.”

“Gen,” said Angeal, “those are udon noodles. You are just used to udon the way I make udon.”

“This looks more like ramen.”

“It’s udon.”

“You’re sure?”

“Would I lie to you about something as important as noodles?”

“I just hate getting ramen when I want udon.” Genesis gently poked at his lunch. “It’s all stuck together, too.”

“Just give it a light toss,” said Vincent.

Genesis shrugged, and began lightly tossing his noodles, trying to separate them from the clump they seemed to have made of themselves. However alcohol and chop sticks were not a good combination, and on the third toss he managed to knock himself over backwards, landing on the wooden floor with a loud thud, while his noodles abruptly shot straight up, hit the ceiling and stuck. The bar erupted in applause, while Angeal leaned over to look down at his husband.

“You were right. Those are ramen noodles.”

Genesis slowly clambered to his feet, righting his chair and taking his place at the table. He gazed down into the bowl, as if wondering where his dinner went, then was splashed with broth as they suddenly released their hold on the ceiling and plummeted back into his bowl. He just stared for a long moment, then sighed.

“I’m gonna go wash up now,” he said, as his friends howled with laughter.

Genesis left to go clean himself up, while his friends tried to get themselves under control. Then Angeal noticed something.

“Hey they have karaoke here, too! Oh I gotta get Gen drinking hard lemonade.”

“I realize I’m piss drunk,” said Sephiroth, “but what has one to do with the other?”

“Because when Gen has enough sugar and booze in him, he does a fucking brilliant Cyndi Lauper, you totally have to see it.”

Sephiroth stared at Angeal. “Genesis.”

“Yes.”

“Mr. High-Art-is-my-Life.”

“Yes.”

“Does Cyndi Lauper.”

“Perfectly. You have to see it.”

Sephiroth stared at him for a long moment, then pulled out his phone and began examining its capabilities. “Damn, it doesn’t have a camera.”

“Mine does,” said Vincent. “Cid insisted so we could take videos of the kids.”

He thought about what he had just said, then called home. The phone was answered literally before it even had a chance to ring.

“You are in so much trouble, dude,” said Teddy. Vincent could almost see the grin on his face.

“Is Cid mad?”

“He’s… several things, mostly wondering if you finally got fed up with his shit and left for good.”

“I would never leave him. I love him. Is he there?”

“No, he had to run out and pick up some special-order parts for an engine and he commanded me to watch the phone. Oh, no, wait, it wasn’t a command, it was a request harshly phrased.”

Vincent smiled. “Tell him I love him, I have not left him, I just… um… went on a beer run. And tell the kids I love them too.”

Serafina could suddenly be heard in the background. “Is that my Vincent? You tell him he is going to get such a spanking! Making his mama worry! Making the gorilla worry! You tell him I am going to…!”

“Whoops, gotta go, Teddy.”

Teddy laughed. “Later dude, have fun. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Vincent closed the phone. “My mom is gonna kick my ass.”

“You don’t have an ass, remember?” said Sephiroth.

“That’s right, I don’t. Okay I guess I’m safe then.”

***---***

“Just act casual,” hissed Genesis.

“How can we act casual?” said Angeal. “We’re piss drunk walking on a foggy beach at 3:20 in the morning and we just blew up a lighthouse!”

“Yes but we didn’t mean to!”

“That’s hardly the point, Gen. And who told you to start throwing fireballs?”

“Well who told you to start hurling ice?”

“Who told any of you to start sparring on an outcrop holding a historical landmark?!” hissed Vincent.

All four abruptly dropped down to the sand as a light appeared at the top of the cliff above them. They lay flat, hiding beneath the layer of fog as a policeman shouted into the darkness.

“Who’s down there?”

“Ain’t nobody here but us chickens,” whispered Angeal. Genesis snorted.

“I’m out of here,” said Vincent. “I’ll meet you behind the bar in the parking lot.”

Vincent turned into mist and slithered away, leaving the other three trapped in the fog.

“I told you we should have put our clothes back on,” grumbled Sephiroth.

“Who’s down there?” the officer demanded. Clearly he had heard something, and he was not amused by the games of the people he was seeking.

“That’s it, I’m shape-shifting,” said Sephiroth. Moments later there was a large, fat, furry and silvery-white ram sheep.

“No not that!” hissed Angeal.

The cop heard him that time, and came charging down the hill, gun drawn. He landed on the sandy beach, gun at the ready, clearly angry.

“Stand up with your hands on your head!”

Slowly, reluctantly, they did. Genesis first, naked, his skin shining in the moonlight, a fine trail of red hair leading down from his navel and ending in fog. Angeal stood up next, also naked, his own line of black hair starting considerably higher up, following the line made by his abdominal muscles. Then there came a slight breeze, dispelling some of the sea mist, revealing an enormous white male sheep. The animal gazed at the cop with sheeply disdain.

“This… so isn’t what it looks like,” said Angeal.

The cop cocked his head, gazing at Angeal, as if wondering where he had seen him before. Then his eyes widened.

“Angeal Hewely!”

“That’s me, and this is my lovely husband Genesis…”

“Pleased to meet both of you, now who trashed that six hundred year old landmark?”

“Kadaj,” they both assured him.

The cop did not look convinced. “Kadaj and who else? People said they saw four people out there.”

“Well… yes,” said Angeal. “There was Kadaj, and… Genesis and I were battling with him.”

“Naked,” said the cop.

“Well he was throwing fireballs, clothing burns.”

“Uh huh,” said the cop. “That only adds up to three.”

“Oh. Well yes it was Genesis, myself, Kadaj… and the sheep.”

The cop stared at Angeal, who blinked back.

“The sheep,” said the cop.

“Yes.”

“Was fighting a remnant.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll bite,” said the cop. “How?”

“Oh it’s an animatronic battle-sheep,” said Genesis. “Designed by Reeve Tuesti. Sits in a field doing recon and draws no unwelcome attention. But if you happen to get too close, it is capable of rocket-powered flight and can fire an ice-cannon.”

The cop stared at Genesis, and then slowly turned his attention to the sheep.

“Baaaa…” said the huge ram.

The cop shifted his attention back to the two men.

“Have you boys been drinking?”

Angeal tried and failed to keep a straight face, doubling up with hilarity. Genesis wove appreciably.

“Honest, occifer, we may be under the affluence of incohol, but we’re not as think as drunkel peep we are.”

Angeal and Genesis were promptly arrested for public intoxication. He would have liked to add ‘public indecency’ to the charges, but it was a nude beach. The police officer marched the three back down the beach to his patrol car, and was confronted by a third man, clearly loaded as well, trying his best to get into a pair of leather pants and not having a whole lot of success. Vincent froze in place as he found himself confronted by an understandably tense and irritable police officer. He grinned in a hopefully placating and appeasing manner, one leg raised to step into the pants.

“Hey. How ware ya.”

“What are you doing up here?”

“I was… swimming… at the beach. But… the sign says you have to leave by four AM so I was just… going.”

“Did you have anything to do with what happened to that lighthouse?”

Vincent’s blazing red eyes did nothing to convey a sense of innocence, and widening them didn’t help.

“There’s a lighthouse?” he said.

“There was,” said Genesis.

“What’s your name?” the officer demanded.

“Michael Nesmith,” said Vincent.

“Show me your ID.”

Vincent slowly finished putting his pants on, then reached into his pocket, hunting for his wallet, wondering if Cid would divorce him for this or just make him sleep on the beach for a month. And… that was when the sheep began to twitch.

It was nothing too obvious at first, but then as the seconds passed, it began making bizarre noises, twitching, hopping up and down, spinning in circles, then suddenly roared like a dragon before leaping up onto its hind legs, fire spraying from its mouth as it grew to nine feet in height and gigantic fangs sprouted from its mouth.

“It’s malfunctioning!” screamed Angeal. “Save yourselves!”

Angeal leapt onto the sheep, grabbing it around the neck. Genesis took advantage of the situation and bolted, tearing off naked down the beach, the cop hot on his heels, though whether in pursuit or in the interest of saving his own neck, it was hard to tell. The three watched them go, Angeal with the were-sheep in a headlock. When the cop was a suitable distance away, he, Sephiroth and Vincent grabbed up their clothes and fled in different directions. They did not see the police officer stop abruptly as Genesis suddenly grew long red wings, beating them and rising up from the sand and into the air, heading for home. The police officer slowed, then stopped, watching as his suspect literally flew away, leaving him alone in the dark

He was not looking forward to the paperwork.

***---***

Zack was in bed, though not asleep, when he heard something that sounded like a gigantic bird land on the porch and hit the door. Throwing off his covers and rising from the bed in his shorts, swearing and fully intent on giving his husband supreme shit, he stormed to the front door and yanked it open, only to have seven feet of piss-drunk war hero fall on top of him. Both landed on the floor with a thud.

“Hi Zack,” said Sephiroth.

Zack strained to shove his enormously heavy lover off of himself. “Baby! Dammit! Where the fuck have you been, I’ve been worried sick!”

With a littler grunting and swearing, Zack managed to free himself from beneath his husband, sitting up, panting. He was angry – well and truly angry for one of the few times in his relationship, and it was all he could do not to leave the big feathered oaf there on the floor.

“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded, his hair an even worse disaster than was common.

Sephiroth tried to roll onto his back, but couldn’t. The best he could do was get onto his side, one wing poking up and flapping.

“Well we did go to the gallery. But first we had lunch. And… a little wine. Then after lunch we saw the show and… had a little wine. Then after the show we rented a car and Vincent shotgunned a bottle of Jägermeister, and….. after that I’m not really sure. I think we blew up a bar. Oh and at one point we were… on a beach naked and Vincent was trying to tell the cop he was one of the Monkees while I just turned into a sheep and tried to look inconspicuous. I don’t really remember, so don’t quote me on this… but we may be wanted by Rufus Shinra for identity theft. At some point there was karaoke.”

Zack just sat and stared at the lump on the floor, shaking his head. “You… what?”

“Y’know, karaoke. We sang Papa Gene’s Blues by the Monkees. The… whole thing was rather Monkee-themed now that I think about it. I do believe at one point we were doing that walk they did at the start of the show down the beach but it was dark and foggy and we were naked.”

Zack by now looked like the RCA Victor dog having a particularly difficult bowel movement. “You WHAT?!”

“I think we blew up a lighthouse too.”

“WHAT?!”

“Zack please quit screaming.”

“Baby what the hell were you thinking!?”

Sephiroth blinked, wing slowly flapping. “Gee I don’t know, it’s not like I never had to go bail you out of jail after going missing for three days.”

“That’s my whole point!” Zack took Sephiroth’s face between his hands, looking down into the booze-soaked green eyes. “Do you remember when I found you? And you were so sick and in so much pain? It was almost more than you could do to sit in a room with the radio on, you were just… so raw and you hurt so badly. All you wanted to do was hide. You could barely speak…” He drew a shivering breath. “And now you’re out getting loaded, singing karaoke and turning my hair grey! Baby I am so damn proud of you!”

Sephiroth was completely confused, and having Zack burst into tears and start weeping on him was not mending things. Drunk and unsteady, Sephiroth pulled him close, kissing him as he slowly folded him into the enormous black wings. Then Sephiroth passed out cold. Zack sighed quietly, trapped beneath feathers and body weight.

“Okay, we’ll talk about this in the morning.”

***---***

Vincent had made stealthier entrances. The idea had been to levitate up to his bedroom window, slip inside, and sneak into bed. However his blood alcohol level was interfering with his demon powers as well as his sense of direction, and Teddy was awakened by a strange booming noise against his window. He sat up and blinked at what appeared to be a gigantic bat stuck to the glass, watching as it slowly peeled off and plummeted to the ground. He tossed the covers back and got out of his bed, leaving his bedroom to walk downstairs and find Cid and Rufus in the living room.

“Dude,” said Teddy, “either Vincent’s home, or there are some seriously big bats around here.”

Cid tore out of the house and around the back, finding a skinny figure standing under Teddy’s window, looking woozy and unsteady on his feet. Cid threw his arms around him and held him fiercely.

“You silly little shit, I was out of my mind!”

Vincent sank against him. “Hi, Cid. I’m home, did you miss me?”

“Me and the Turks were going out in the morning to hunt for you, what the hell have you been doing?! Rufus showed up a few hours ago looking for your skin!”

Vincent snuggled against Cid. “I was bad.”

“You sure as hell were! Do you know what you four geniuses owe that man? It took me twenty minutes to get the shotgun away from him!”

Vincent clumsily put his arms around Cid’s neck, then raised his legs, forcing Cid to pick him up. “Aw Rufus loves us.”

“Vincent, you are one decimal point away from being the first Turk ever to be publicly executed. Oddly enough he did manage to figure out who among the four of you would know how and where to score a credit card.”

“Aw that’s so cute. And people say he’s dumb…”

Rufus appeared from around the corner of the house. “Vincent Valentine would you like to please explain to me exactly what I ever did to you to warrant this abuse?”

Vincent turned his head to look at Rufus. He blinked at him for a few moments, then took hold of his collar, drew him close and kissed his nose. Rufus was not impressed.

“Yes that’s very cute. Now about the four hundred and ninety four thousand gil you owe me…”

Vincent somehow managed to squiggle out of Cid’s grasp and into Rufus’, snuggling against him.

“Take me to the attic,” he said.

“All right,” said Rufus cautiously. “Not the strangest offer I’ve ever had, but I’ll only do it if your husband won’t kill me.”

“Not until after I find out what the little dipstick is up to,” said Cid. “He’s awful cuddly for a guy on the verge of divorce and execution.”

“I’ve noticed that as well.”

Vincent happily snuggled against Rufus as he carried him upstairs to the attic, Cid following behind. The large space was, for the most part, empty, save for a few personal items that Vincent had kept from his previous life, all tucked away in two lonely boxes. Rufus set Vincent down, and watched as he seated himself on the floor and opened one box.

“I found this in the lab, years ago. I kept it because… well… I kept it.”

Vincent pulled out a manuscript, and a small tin box. He gave the box to Rufus, which held tiny and delicate pieces to a very complex device, then carefully tore the back cover off the manuscript and replaced it in the box before passing the papers over as well. Rufus accepted them, and in the light of Cid’s flashlight, began to read the manuscript.

“Vincent… this…”

“What is it?” asked Cid.

“Well it’s rough, only the beginnings of an idea, but… this is something Dr. Gast appears to have been working on. It would need a lot of work, and research, but it could potentially be worth millions.” Rufus glanced at Vincent. “Are you sure you want to give me this to pay off a five hundred thousand gil bar tab?”

Vincent hiccupped. “C’n you think of another way I c’n pay off a five hundred thousand gil bar tab?”

Rufus glanced down at him. “Vincent if this works, it will be worth considerably more than what you owe me.”

Vincent shrugged. “Wha’ th’ fuck am I gonna do with an artificial kidney? I don’ need an artificial kidney, I need an artificial liver.”

He struggled to his feet, turning to face Rufus, weaving appreciably.

“We did use your credit card,” he said, and handed over the small rectangle of plastic. “But we would never stick you for five limo rentals, a biker bar, and a lake full of booze.”

“Well thank you, Vincent, I appreciate that.”

Vincent leaned forward and kissed him noisily on the nose, then passed out against his chest. Rufus caught him before he fell to the floor, gazing at Cid.

“I vote we put him to bed, get some sleep ourselves, and discuss what to do with this notebook when we’re all awake. I believe our Mr. Valentine knows it’s valuable, but fails to grasp its true worth.”

Cid gently picked up Vincent. “Well Vin has never been especially interested in money. And I can’t think why he would have kept that notebook anyway. Why would he choose, of all things, to grab up an old notebook full of Professor Gast’s doodles?”

“Well wealth is a subjective thing,” said Rufus. “One man’s old notebook is another man’s gold. And I suspect that, for Vincent, the wealth was not in the contents, but in the back cover he so carefully tore off and put back in the box.”

“Yeah why did he do that?”

Rufus bent down and picked up the cover, gazing at it. He then showed it to Cid, who gazed at what, to most people, would be a lot of smudges and smears in black, blue, and red ink. But Cid was a man with children, and he recognized the inky mess for what it was; finger-paintings by a very small child.

“Vincent kept the part of this manuscript that had value to him,” said Rufus. “The rest is just meaningless schematics. That finger-painting is priceless. There can only be one baby who painted it.”

“This was done by three babies,” said Cid. “Look at the hand prints. They’re different. There’s one baby with much smaller hands, and longer fingers than the other two. And look at the mitt-print there. That’s a way bigger baby.”

Rufus turned the painting around and looked at it. “You’re right. But who…?” He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think this is by the same three babies who were helping him drink his way across Midgar and Costa del Sol, do you?”

“I’d bet money on it,” said Cid.

Rufus smiled at the painting. “I think I will have this framed for our Mr. Valentine. Something enormous and ostentatious, don’t you think?”

“Only if you do the ones by the other kids the same.”

“Well of course. Then I’ll have to do the ones by my own brood. That should cover a whole gallery. Perhaps I should rent a gallery to show all the art. We can put it up on refrigerators.”

“You’re a strange guy, Rufus.”

“Why thank you.”

Rufus went to the guest room, while Cid carried Vincent to his own room, putting him down on the bed.

“Silly shit,” Cid cursed quietly. “Taking off for days. Running up Rufus’ credit card. Blowing up biker bars. I always thought a days-long bender would do you good. I had no idea you would make Cloud and Zack look like amateurs.”

Cid undressed him, then slipped out of his own clothes and climbed into bed beside Vincent, drawing him close. He stroked the wild black hair.

“Silly shit,” he whispered again.

Vincent was deeply asleep, lost in an ocean of exhaustion and alcohol. Cid kissed him, then closed his eyes, falling asleep beside him. Meanwhile, far away, Angeal and Genesis were making made, passionate love in what they thought was a field of wildflowers and plants. The botanical society would be less than impressed to find the two warriors had mated all over a patch of rare Bleeding Gold flowers, mashing the frail plants and turning themselves shades of brilliant yellow and green before falling asleep beneath a flowering peach tree.