Puff Balls

Rating: PG
Category: AU
Pairing(s): Cid/Vincent.
Warnings: Inappropriate use of bird feathers.
Summary: Cid was a very bad boy. Now if he could only remember what exactly it was he did…
Notes: ani_mama wanted some Cid & Vincent fluff. I promised her fluff complete with puff balls. Then a plot bunny leapt from the shadows and bit me…

For those of you who are not familiar with marabou stork feathers – those are the very fine fluffy feathers you see on the toes of women’s slippers and such.

Aeris watched as Cid limped into the kitchen, moving slowly and quietly, clad only in boxers, socks and an undershirt. His complexion was grey at best. He had puffy, red-rimmed eyes, and his hands shook as he reached for the coffee pot.

“Well good morning,” said Aeris, seated comfortably at the kitchen table.

Cid made a quiet moaning sound in response, making a face as he tugged uncomfortably at the waistband of his shorts. He poured coffee into his cup, then added cream.

“Did we have fun last night?” she asked.

“Far too much,” croaked Cid.

Aeris smiled. “Is Vincent unhappy with you?”

“No,” said Cid. “Vincent is not unhappy. Vincent is royally pissed.”

“He did ask you to come home at a reasonable hour.”

“4:45 is perfectly reasonable.”

Aeris giggled. “If you were coming back from a party. But you were just out drinking with your crew. And it’s Benji and Aiden’s birthday today!”

“I know! I was celebrating!”

Vincent himself walked into the kitchen, silent and bringing with him a faint whiff of sulphur. He walked by Cid, helping himself to his cup of coffee. Cid puckered up for a kiss, and was utterly ignored. He watched as Vincent took his cup of coffee and went outside. Cid sighed heavily, tugging at his shorts once more.

“Yeah, he’s ticked.”

“You did rather leave him hanging,” said Aeris.

“He knew I was a disaster when he first started dating me. If he wanted a guy who didn’t screw up then he should have married someone else.” He poured himself another cup of coffee. “But I can’t figure out what he’s so mad about.”

“You don’t think crawling home drunk off your feet at 4:45 in the morning was enough?”

“No usually that’s only good for the ‘I can’t believe I married you’ remark. Normally I have to do something really stupid to get the silent treatment.”

“Well he’s certainly unhappy about something. What did you do last night?”

Cid poured cream into his coffee, brow furrowing as he tried to think. “I’m not sure. We went to the pub down by the beach, sat outside, one of the guys ran into some friends and we got invited to a barbecue… ended up talking to a female pilot about fuel cells. After that it’s kind of a blur…”

Aeris sipped her coffee, saying nothing as Cid tugged impatiently at his shorts yet again. He set down his coffee and went into the bathroom, but remained only a moment before he came shooting out, eyes huge with concern and went tearing after Vincent.

“Baby! Whatever it is I did, I can explain! Please! I’m sorry! I am so sorry! I’ll make it up to you I swear! GOD VINCENT PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!”

Teddy walked into the kitchen, yawning, reaching for a mug to fill with coffee. Aeris watched the little hippie, taking note of his total lack of interest over the scenario happening on the lawn.

“I take it you know what’s going on,” she said dryly.

He grinned. “Oh yeah.”

“So share. I’m not psychic like you.”

“Psychic’s got nothing to do with it,” said Teddy, smiling. “I helped.”

Aeris’ jaw dropped, and she sat forward. “Teddy what did you do?”

“Well, Vincent was really hurt that Cid would pick last night of all nights to take off and tie one on, and… much as we all love Cid, Mr. Sensitivity he is not. And to be honest, all I did was loan Vincent the glue and the marabou stork feathers. He did the rest.”

Aeris turned her head to watch Cid chase Vincent around the yard, begging forgiveness, imploring him not to leave.

“What did he do, exactly?” she asked.

“Well,” said Teddy, making himself some toast, “Cid was lying there, passed out dead. I mean you could have set him on fire, he never would have known. He must have made it home on auto-pilot. He was ripped. So our little Vincent out there undresses Cid, takes a razor and some shaving cream, and proceeds to relieve Mr. Highwind of every single pubic hair he has.”

Aeris’ eyes grew huge. Teddy caught his toast as it popped out of the toaster, grinning.

“Gets better. He then smears Cid’s nether regions with wood glue, which does not come off well or easily, and replaces the afore-mentioned pubic hair with pink fluffy marabou stork feathers arranged into a pretty heart with a bit of lace around the edge to give it some definition.”

“So, basically, Cid just walked into the bathroom, discovered he has pink fluffy no-no bits, and is convinced he did something unforgivable,” said Aeris.

Teddy nodded, chewing his toast and trying desperately hard not to laugh.

“That’s cruel!”

“Hey, two things you should never underestimate are karma, or quiet people. Cid messed with both and the universe bit back. What can I do? I’m just a little skinny hippie. I gotta go the way the universal flow pushes me.”

“It’s mean!” said Aeris.

“So are you going to tell him what happened?”

Aeris looked out the kitchen window to the front yard, where Cid was following Vincent around on his knees, begging forgiveness. She then leaned back in her chair and sipped her coffee.

“Heck no, I’m still mad at him for using my panties to clean grease off the lawn mower.”