You Wear It Well

Rating: PG
Category: AU
Pairing(s): Rufus/Cloud.
Warnings: This is Ice Lady’s fic. That should be warning enough to those of us who know her
Summary: Rufus and Cloud have a conversation long-distance.
Notes: For ice_lady as part of the all-request week marathon.

The songa used, in order, are ‘You Wear it Well’, ‘Lost Paraguayos’, ‘Mandolin Wind’, ‘Seem Like a Long Time’, and ‘Stay With Me’, all by Rod Stewart/Small Faces.

“Tseng? Who was that at the door?”

Tseng walked into the sun room, ready to speak, then sighed as he got a look at his employer. Rufus Shinra, wheelchair bound, scarred and still recovering from geo-stigma, was currently trying to extract the white blanket he insisted upon wearing from the spokes of one of his wheels.

“I can’t leave you alone for a minute.”

“Just help me get free of this thing. How much longer do I have to be trapped in this contraption, anyway?”

“Another three weeks.”

“I’ll go mad.”

“No,” said Tseng, coming to kneel before Rufus to help him with this situation, “you will be fine. I will be mad. Rufus you are beyond me. You can manage the largest corporation on the planet, but you can’t sit in a wheelchair and reach for the cream at the same time.”

“This chair is cursed.”

“It is not,” said Tseng gently. “You’re just not paying attention.”

“Well I don’t like attention if I have to pay for it.”

Tseng sighed, finally managing to get the blanket free. “There. You are once more able to spread darkness across the land, or, if today is anything like yesterday, jam all over the ceiling.”

“I told you, I get muscle spasms!”

Tseng chuckled, rising to his feet. “Well this came for you,” he said, passing Rufus an envelope. “Special delivery.”

“Really?” Rufus took the envelope with a hand that quivered ever so slightly. “From whom?”

“It doesn’t say, sir. There’s only a post office box number for the return address.”

“How very strange.”

Rufus picked up a butter knife and slid it into the cheap tan paper, which cut easily. He willed his damaged muscles to work, trying to slice the envelope open. Suddenly the blade tore violently through the paper with such force that the knife flew out of his hand and imbedded itself into a wall, and Rufus was thrown backwards, finding himself still seated in his wheelchair but now on his back. He sighed heavily, folding his hands and resting them across his chest as he waited for Tseng to stop screaming with hilarity and rolling around on the floor.

“Tseng? Take a memo please.”

Tseng writhed on the floor, tears running from his eyes. “Yes sir?”

“No personal meetings with any of my business contacts until the muscle spasms stop. This is not dignified.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tseng managed to stagger to his feet, still giggling, and walked over to his employer, gently helping him up. As he went to get the knife out of the wall, Rufus reached into the envelope and drew out a CD. There was nothing written upon it, and no label of any sort. Shrugging, he was about to put it into the CD player, when he thought better of it.

“Here Tseng, you better do this, if I try the house could fall down.”

“Yes sir.”

Tseng took the small round disc and put it into the CD player. After a few moments there came the first strains of guitar music, and Rufus felt his eyes become large. He gasped softly as he recognized the tune, and felt tears come unbidden to his eyes as the singer gave voice to his song.

I had nothing to do on this hot afternoon
But to settle down and write you a line.
I’ve been meaning to phone you, but from Minnesota.
Hell it’s been a very long time.
You wear it well.
A little old fashioned but that’s all right.

Well I suppose you’re thinking “I bet he’s sinking,
Or he wouldn’t get in touch with me.”
Oh I ain’t begging, or losing my head.
I sure do want you to know that you wear it well.
There ain’t a lady in the land so fine.

Remember them basement parties, your brothers karate,
The all day rock and roll shows?
Them homesick blues and radical views,
Haven’t left a mark on you, you wear it well.
A little out of time but I don’t mind.

But I ain’t forgetting that you were once mine.
But I blew it without even tryin’.
Now I’m eatin’ my heart out,
Tryin’ to get a letter through.

Since you’ve been gone it’s hard to carry on…

I’m gonna write about the birthday gown that I bought in town,
When you sat down and cried on the stairs.
You knew it didn’t cost the earth, but for what its worth,
You made me feel a millionaire, and you wear it well.
Madame Onassis got nothing on you.

Anyway, my coffee’s cold and I’m getting told
That I gotta get back to work.
So when the sun goes low and you’re home all alone,
Think of me and try not to laugh, and I wear it well.
I don’t object if you call collect.
’Cause I ain’t forgetting that you were once mine,
But I blew it without even tryin’.
Now I’m eatin’ my heart out, tryin’ to get back to you.

After all the years I hope it's the same address…

Tseng was not impressed. “That’s not the same short-ass who made your life a living hell during the whole Sephiroth debacle, is it?”

“Tseng only you would refer to Sephiroth as a debacle, and yes, I believe it is the same short-ass.”

“Well if you send a song in return, may I suggest ‘I Used to Love Her but I Had to Kill Her’?”

“No you may not! Pass me my Rod Stewart CDs.”

Tseng sighed heavily, but did as he was asked. “Sir if you send him Rod Stewart for a response you’ll only encourage him.”

“I’m not going to encourage him, Tseng, trust me. I…” He paused as the words stuck briefly in his throat. “I loved him once, even if it was at a distance and unconsummated and all we seemed to do was try to kill each other.”

“I remember,” said Tseng quietly. “But those were the times, not you.”

“Times or not, those times are well passed, and I don’t have the energy for the young bucks anymore. If I’m going to have a man in my life I think I’d like one that’s housebroken. No, I’ll send him my response and that will be the end of it. Cloud’s not stupid. Neurotic, moody and slightly unhinged, but not stupid.” Rufus smiled as he spied a song title. “This will do. Burn me a copy of that song, would you please, Tseng?”

“Yes sir.”

Tseng took the CD and walked over to the computer to make a copy. Rufus sat in his wheelchair and gazed out the window, watching the rain, smiling as he listened to the old song.

Darling, I hate to tell you but I’m think I catching a cold.
Put another chair on the fire, bring the bottle over here,
I feel I’m getting old.
I like your laugh and a hot romance,
and your only sense of humour.
But if it rains again like it did today
I’m gonna have to leave a little bit sooner.

Got to get me some South American sun.

Honey, don’t even ask me if you can come along.
Down at the border you need to be older,
and you sure don’t look like my daughter.
Your ridiculous age’ll start a state outrage,
and I’ll end up in a Mexican jail.
Darling, please don’t cry you know I wouldn’t tell you no lie.

Oh my God don’t look now,
but it appears to be raining again.
Get upstairs pack my book of prayers,
Honey hurry I’m catching pneumonia.
I gotta move while I’m in the mood,
or I’ll disappear into that wall.
Darling please don’t curse,
it really couldn’t be any worse.
See I’m a sun fanatic but it’s dark in your attic,
and your cat sleeps over my head.

I know I’m not a football star,
but I wanna little better than that.
So I’m much obliged for the pure white ride
and a cup of tea every morning.
I’ll say goodbye, look your man in the eye,
you know I wouldn’t tell you no lie.

So after all, I'll see you in the fall,
on a brand new day, brand new way.
Goodbye honey, goodbye honey.
Goodbye honey, it ain't funny.
Goodbye honey, I know it ain't funny.

Tseng finished copying the song, then put it into a jewel case. “Shall I mail this for you sir?”

“Yes, thank you Tseng.”

Tseng left the room to mail the CD, while Rufus poured himself another cup of tea. He added cream, then sat back in his wheelchair, holding the cup with trembling hands, his mind drifting back to other times. Once more he felt the tears threaten to rise.

“It was too long ago,” he said to the empty room. “Too long, too far away, and there is too much water under the bridge. I can’t do it again, Cloud. I’m sorry.”

***---***

“I told you if you wrote him back it would only encourage him.”

Rufus glanced up from his breakfast to see Tseng walking into the sun room, holding a cheap tan envelope. He sighed heavily.

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“Same post office box, same envelope. Sir if I may say so striking up any sort of communication with Cloud is just a bad idea.”

“Thank you, Tseng, opinion noted, but even you admitted that the times were more to blame than anything.”

Tseng did not bother to hide his indignation. “Sir, he’s been nothing but a pain in the ass since he was an MP, trust me on that, I’ve worked with him. He’s a brooding little angst-sack who can’t get his head out of his own butt long enough to take a crap.”

“Your opinion is noted, I’ll cancel the plans I had to breed you two.”

“Sir…”

“Tseng…”

Tseng would not be halted. “He broke your heart repeatedly and left you in the ruins of Shinra Tower after the Weapon attack. He wouldn’t help when you called him up to Healin…”

“He did help. You would have known that but you were in a coma in the City of the Ancients with a vampire looking after you. Look, I know Cloud, I know what he’s like. He’s been hurt badly, and indirectly I am to blame. Aeris, Zack, his mother… these are people that all died as a result of actions of my company. I may as well have killed them myself. Yes, he’s hurt me. And I have hurt him. And if you ask me where and how this strange romance between him and me grew than I have no answer. It’s always been. We’ve always been aware of each other, no matter where we were or what we were doing.” Rufus fell silent briefly, then said in a soft voice; “One could almost call it fate.”

“Sir with all due respect aren’t you a little old to be speaking of fated romance?”

“I’m a little old to be playing song-tag with a twenty-four year old emo kid, too but that’s hardly going to stop me. Put the disc in, let’s see what the little shit has to say.”

Tseng did as he was bid, but did not hide his annoyance. Moments later the soft sound of a mandolin could be heard.

When the rain came I thought you’d leave,
’cause I knew how much you loved the sun.
But you chose to stay, stay and keep me warm,
Through the darkest nights I’ve ever known.
If the mandolin wind couldn’t change a thing,
Then I know I love ya.

Oh the snow fell without a break,
Buffalo died in the frozen fields you know.
Through the coldest winter in almost fourteen years,
I couldn’t believe you kept a smile.
Now I can rest assured knowing that we’ve seen the worst,
And I know I love ya.

Oh I never was good with romantic words,
So the next few lines come really hard.
Don’t have much but what I’ve got is yours,
Except of course my steel guitar.
Ha, ‘cause I know you don’t play,
But I’ll teach you one day.
Because I love ya.

I recall the night we knelt and prayed,
Noticing your face was thin and pale.
I found it hard to hide my tears,
I felt ashamed, I felt I’d let you down.
No mandolin wind couldn’t change a thing,
Couldn’t change a thing no, no.

The coldest winter in almost fourteen years,
Could never, never change your mind.

And I love ya,
Yes indeed and I love ya.
And I love ya,
Lordy I love ya.

“He’s apologizing,” said Rufus softly.

Tseng seemed confused. “Apologizing?”

Rufus did not answer. There were moments in his life that he had not shared with his dearest Turk, and he had no interest in sharing them now. They were his alone, and Cloud’s. There was no way he could explain to Tseng what the song meant to him, and the tangle of emotions and events wrapped up in it. It had indeed been the darkest days Cloud would know; he was in a small clinic in Mideel, suffering from a combination nervous breakdown and mako poisoning. Tifa hadn’t wanted to let Rufus in to see him, but she had been easy to take care of. The girl never did like being hit between the eyes with grim reality, and a few cutting remarks about how she was enabling Cloud’s delusions for her own purposes was enough to send her scrambling for cover. While she hid and wept, Rufus posted Elena and Tseng outside the door, and he came to sit with Cloud. He had recovered enough that he was vaguely aware of the outside world, but he was still terribly ill. The blue eyes were vacant and staring at nothing, but when Rufus took his hand, Cloud squeezed it.

“Mandolin Wind,” he said quietly.

“I beg your pardon?” said Rufus, puzzled.

“It’s a song,” said Cloud. “I’ve been thinking of it. The lyrics made me think of you. “When the rain came I thought you’d leave, ’cause I knew how much you loved the sun. But you chose to stay, stay and keep me warm, through the darkest nights I’ve ever known…” It’s you.”

Rufus smiled faintly. “I think it’s more Tifa. She’s the one sitting here with you.”

“No,” said Cloud softly. “She sits and placates me and tells me to be strong and not to worry. Little Miss Sunshine. She just slaps a coat of whitewash over the shit and calls it roses, and pretends it doesn’t stink. You don’t like the crap either, but you face it. You’re the only one who’s really here with me. She’s only here with her images of what she wants reality to be. She thinks I’ll get better and be well, but I’m never going to be right. You understand that.” Cloud fell silent briefly. “I didn’t think you’d come. I thought you hated hospitals.”

“I do,” said Rufus.

He could have added “But I love you,” but he didn’t. He didn’t at the time even realize that he did love him. He only knew that, despite being on opposite sides of the battlefield, he cared about what happened to this man. Then, weeks later as he lay in a burn ward, fighting for his life, he felt a soft presence at his side. Rufus hadn’t really been certain Cloud was actually there, until he felt a gentle kiss pressed to his lips.

“I’m sorry. I tried to stop it. I let you down. Just the same as I let down Zack and Aeris.”

Rufus tried to respond, but he was heavily sedated. Then he passed out, and when he awoke Cloud was gone. It was raining, and ‘Mandolin Wind’ was playing quietly on the radio.

Rufus shook his head, bringing himself back to reality. “All right, he’s said he’s sorry. The book is closed. There’s no need to respond.”

“Yes sir,” said Tseng quietly. “What shall I do with the CDs?”

“Toss them. I… I don’t think I’ll ever be playing them again.”

“Yes sir,” said Tseng quietly.

He quietly slipped out of the room to dispose of the discs, leaving Rufus to sit in his wheelchair, gazing out at the rain falling softly on the garden outside the sun room.

***---***

Days passed, turning to weeks. Rufus slowly healed, learning to walk all over again, his muscles strengthening, and it seemed that as summer approached he, like the land, was rejuvenated. He was taking a few tentative steps across the floor of the sun room when Tseng walked in, brandishing a familiar-looking envelope.

“Shall I burn it, sir?”

Rufus sighed heavily, slowly and unsteadily tottering to a chair. “No, play it. May as well hear what he has to say.”

“Sir, you’re not going to respond to him, are you?”

“Tseng,” said Rufus wearily, “you can be good, or you can be stationed to perform covert surveillance on a latrine at an abandoned military base, now which is it?”

“Playing the CD, sir.”

“Good boy.”

“Under protest.”

“Just don’t make me get the fly swatter.”

Tseng went to put in the CD as Rufus dropped gratefully into a chair. “I never realized my ass was so heavy!”

“It’s not your ass, sir, it’s just that gravity has increased.”

Rufus smiled. “Where were you when I was depressed and ate two entire pecan pies?”

“Faithfully passed out beside you.”

“Oh that’s right. That’s why you’re my favourite Turk.”

“I’m always ready to drink good booze in the name of duty, sir.” He put the CD into the player, and winced as he immediately recognized the song.

Night time is only the other side of daytime,
but if you've ever waited for the sun.
You know what it's like to wish daytime would come.
And don't it seem like a long time,
seem like a long time, seem like a long, long time.

Hard times are only the other side of good times,
but if you ever wished hard times were gone.
You know what it's like to wish good times would come,
And don't it seem like a long time,
seem like a long time, seem like a long, long time.

Help me, seems like a long time,
seems like a long time, seems like a long, long time.

And don't it seem like a long time,
seem like a long time, seem like a long, long time.
And don't it seem like a long time,
seem like a long time, seem like a long, long time.
And don't it seems like a long time,
seems like a long time, seems like a long, long time.

You know it makes me sad,
seems like a long time, seems like a long time,
seems like a long, long time.

War time is only the other side of peace time,
but if you've ever seen how wars are won.
You know what it's like to wish peace time would come,
And don't it seem like a long time,
seem like a long time, seems like a long, long time.

“He’s asking to come home,” said Rufus softly.

“This is not his home,” said Tseng.

“It is if I say it is.”

Tseng fell silent, shaking his head. “Sir…”

“I know you’re worried for me, Tseng. Cloud and I have a very strange history, and he’s not known for his ability to see past his own bullshit but… if I don’t give him a chance I will spend the rest of my life asking ‘what if?’. You’re good company Tseng, and I love you, but you’re not mine. You’re someone else’s. And I don’t know who but I know you’ve got a lover, and I think she or he would like me to stop monopolizing your time.”

Tseng permitted himself a smile. “It’s a ‘he’, sir.”

“Is it indeed? Do I know him?”

“Yes, rather well. It’s Reno.”

“Reno?!” Rufus slowly drew himself into a more upright position. “Reno? You dare stand here and tisk at me over Cloud when you’re sleeping with the bastard child of a stray cat and Pickles the Drummer?”

“He’s not that bad, sir.”

“CDs. Now.”

“Fetching, sir.”

“Actually, now that I think about it, just fetch ‘Every Picture Tells a Story’, would you? Leave the others.”

Tseng went to the cabinet across the room to find the album requested. “So I take it you have a song in mind.”

“I do. One that shall in a very subtle way let him know I desire to hold him in my arms, embrace him, make love to him, but he still has a few things to make up for.”

“So ‘Stay With Me’, sir?”

“Yes, Tseng, ‘Stay With Me’ it is.”

“I applaud your choice.”

Rufus grinned, leaning back in his chair, listening to his choice of song as it played.

In the morning,
Don’t say you love me.
Cause I’ll only kick you out of the door.

I know your name is Rita,
Cause your perfume’s smelling sweeter,
Since when I saw you down on the floor.

Won’t need too much persuading,
I don’t mean to sound degrading.
But with a face like that
You got nothing to laugh about.

Red lips hair and fingernails,
I hear you’re a mean old jezebel.
Let’s go up stairs and read my tarot cards.

Stay with me,
Stay with me,
For tonight you better stay with me.

Stay with me,
Stay with me,
For tonight you better stay with me.

So in the morning,
Please don’t say you love me.
Cause you know I’ll only kick you out the door.

Yeah I’ll pay your cab fare home,
You can even use my best cologne,
Just don’t be here in the morning when I wake up.

Stay with me,
Stay with me,
Cause tonight you better stay with me.

***---***

Cloud rode up to the little post office, parking his gigantic black motor cycle and dismounting it in a swirl of black leather. He walked into the small building, motorcycle boots thudding heavily on the floor as he entered and walking over to the box he was renting. He opened it, and smiled as he saw the white padded envelope within. He drew it out, closing and locking the box, then tore open the envelope. He drew out the CD it held and tossed the envelope into the trash, then set it into his portable player as he left the post office. He walked over to his bike and got onto the broad back, then hit ‘play’ on the small black device. He laughed as soon as he heard the first few notes.

“Bitch,” he said quietly, his voice warm with affection. Then he started his bike and began making his way to Shinra Manor.