Rabbit Tales
Chapter 5: Fair Days and Nonsense at the Sign of the Sleeping Marmot

Rating: PG
Category: D rama, h/c, at times some angsty and dark bits
Pairing(s): Rabbit/Haldir, Legolas/Gimli (implied)
Warnings: Slash (means: two male Elves in love), Mpreg
Summary: The fellowship arrives in Rivendell to celebrate Frodo's birthday. Rabbit is NOT amused about the "intruders".

Pira has drawn a lovely picture of Rabbit and his husband Haldir with their daughter Bramble.

Beside the wide shallow stream where once Frodo Baggins had watched the Nazgul be swept away, Rabbit was teaching his daughter to hunt.

She was still very small, and not yet demonstrating the grace of her kind. Clad in a simple white dress, tiny hands resting on the river’s gravel bed and bottom held high, she was already accomplished at capturing the little crayfish. Beside her, Rabbit admired how quickly she had learned the skills of her kin.

She was very much like him. Her hair was black and heavy, and her eyes were yellow-green, like sunlight filtering through the leaves. Yet in body she was like her father, more slender and well knit, lacking her mother’s long rangy frame.

He watched her seize her scuttling prey, then sit down hard on her bottom to examine it. She broke it in half, rinsed the tail, then, victoriously showed it to her mother before popping it into her mouth. Rabbit smiled. Soon it would be time to teach her to fish. Rabbit was determined to teach Bramble all of his old ways, as his mother had taught him. Then, when she was older, it would be Haldir’s turn to be the teacher, and show her the arts of her Wood-Elf kin. Being of both kinds, she had much to learn, but the small child seemed up to the task.

“Would you like some berries now?”

Bramble shook her head, and Rabbit reached out to push back her black hair. “Fish,” the child said, and now that she had disposed of one crayfish, began determinedly hunting another. Rabbit smiled.

“Then I shall pick some, and when you want them, they will be waiting.”

The child nodded distractedly, and Rabbit moved a short distance away to gather the ripe and juicy blackberries. The sun shone warmly on his bare shoulders, and the air was sweet and alive with the song of birds and little insects. He yawned and stretched, then began lazily picking the berries.

***---***

Merry and Pippin rode out of the forest and to the edge of the stream, pausing as they saw the tiny child, apparently all alone. They exchanged glances, then rode their ponies into the water, approaching the child. She seemed to be terribly interested in something in the water, and as they reached her, she stood up, holding a crayfish. She smiled at the Hobbits.

Pippin dismounted. “Hello.”

The child tore the crayfish apart and began carefully eating it. “Hello.”

“I’m Pippin. What’s your name?”

“Bramble.”

“Hello Bramble. What are you doing out here all alone?”

The little girl shook her head. “Not alone.”

“Well where’s your mother?”

Bramble pointed to her right, keeping her eyes on what she was eating. Pippin looked in the direction she pointed, and the smile on his face fell off. His throat went tight.

“Merry…”

Merry also looked, and his eyes went wide. “Uh-oh.”

The stream had covered the sound of the Hobbits’ approach, and Rabbit had been caught unawares. Thus when he turned and saw the two riders beside his daughter, a cold sickness struck him. Thought fled, and he was left with fear, and a need to reach his daughter before she was borne away forever.

Merry and Pippin watched as the being the child claimed was her mother turned and sighted them. It did not look like a woman. It was tall and lean, with wild black hair and fierce green eyes. Strange pictures decorated the lean breast. It snorted like a wild horse, and the green eyes narrowed. Elf and Hobbits considered each other, and for a moment, all was still. Then Rabbit lunged.

Pippin turned and seized his pony’s saddle, feeling Merry grasp the back of his cape and pull him up. He was only half in the saddle when Merry then grasped the reins of Pippin’s pony and spurred his own forward. The move was none too soon; Pippin heard the rush of feet through water and gravel, then the terrifying rip of the cloth on the leg of his breeches. He struggled into the saddle, and the two Hobbits fled towards Elrond’s former home.

***---***

Gimli grumbled quietly when Legolas stirred, then moved away from their comfortable embrace. The Elf rose off the couch where they had been dozing in the sun, and looked in the direction of the sound of galloping hooves. He smiled as he saw Merry and Pippin ride up.

“It’s Merry and Pippin! They seem frightened.”

Gimli stirred and sat up. “What? Frightened? We must go deal with whatever monster pursues them.”

They went down to the yard, and greeted the Halflings. It had been a long time since they had seen one another, and Merry turned to embrace the tall Elf. He laughed.

“How can you be twice my height and half my width?”

Legolas laughed, then embraced Pippin next. “What pursues you? I know of no evil beings in this land.”

Merry shook his head. “It was… tall, and long, and big, with glowing eyes and black hair.”

Legolas and Gimli exchanged glances and smiled. “This creature,” said Gimli, “did it by chance have with it a little girl?”

“Yes! The child claimed it was her mother!”

“Rabbit,” said Legolas.

“That was no rabbit,” said Merry.

“Rabbit is his name,” said Legolas. “He is the child’s mother.”

The Hobbits were silent in puzzlement. The Elf laughed. “Rabbit is an ancient creature, and has children in what manner best suits him. Certainly Haldir could not do such a thing.”

“Well someone should have a word with Haldir about his lady… lord… rabbit,” said Pippin.

“Rabbit’s life has not been a merry one,” said Legolas, “and he is perhaps too fearful for his daughter’s safety.”

Pippin looked at the rip in his breeches. “His daughter need not fear me!”

Haldir appeared in the yard, having heard Merry and Pippin arrive. He relaxed when he saw the Hobbits, and smiled.

“Long has it been since I have last seen thee, Halflings. How fare you?”

“Very well, thank you!” said Merry. “And yourself? I understand you were grievously wounded at Helm’s Deep.”

“I live,” said Haldir, and smiled. “And you have escaped the vengeance of my lover?”

“Barely,” said Pippin.

“Forgive him, I pray. He trusts very few, other than myself. If you knew him better, you would understand.”

“No need to grant forgiveness, I’m not angry,” said Pippin. “He was but defending his child from perceived dangers.”

“I thank you. Now if you will excuse me, I must go to him.”

Haldir left the four, and made his way to the stream. There he found Rabbit, still alert and concerned, while Bramble sought more crayfish. Rabbit approached Haldir and embraced him, resting his head upon Haldir’s shoulder.

“I believe I just now very nearly ate a Hobbit,” he said.

“But only very nearly, and he bears you no ill will.”

“I am thankful for that. I must apologize when I next see him.”

“That would be kind. I am certain you nearly caused him to foul his breeches.”

Rabbit laughed quietly, then raised his head to kiss Haldir. “Rightly, too. All those fierce and mighty Halflings shall now know better than to trifle with the Elves of our house. What brings them here?”

“A most wicked plot. A surprise birthday party for the Ring-Bearer. All plans shall be made here, then moved to his home in the Shire.”

Rabbit kissed Haldir again. “Very silly. And they cannot plot this nonsense at home?”

“Aragorn will be attending, as will Gandalf. All will meet here, then take their nonsense traveling. And speaking of nonsense, what have you got my daughter eating?”

“Crayfish!” said Rabbit, and held up a wiggling specimen. Haldir studied it with an expression frequently used when regarding Gimli.

“That is not a food, it is a watery insect.”

“It’s delicious. Try it!”

“I would rather not.”

Rabbit gently kissed Haldir. “Climb down from thy tree, Elf of the Golden Wood.”

Haldir relented. “Very well, I shall try. What do I do with it?”

Rabbit cleaned it for him, then offered his lover the delicacy. Haldir accepted it, and studied it distastefully. Finally he put it in his mouth and chewed.

“Slimy. But cooked it would not be so bad.”

“Raw is better.”

“Perhaps, but I am unaccustomed to wiggling food. Shall we suggest it to Merry and Pippin for their party menu?”

Rabbit laughed, then looked towards the sky. “It grows late. We should return home.”

They returned to the great house, Haldir carrying Bramble, Rabbit at his side. Overhead, the sky turned dusky blue, and the white stars were just beginning to shine. The lanterns of the house were being lit, and within the walls came the sound of song and laughter. Haldir seemed pleased.

“It is good to have guests in this house.”

Rabbit was not so delighted. “Perhaps I shall walk among the trees awhile.”

Haldir reached out his free hand to touch his lover. “There is nothing to fear. Merry and Pippin are true and decent folk.”

Rabbit’s expression was of concern. Haldir did not press the matter; to do so would not make things better. At last, Rabbit hung his head and sighed.

“You are right, of course. Let us go inside. We must not let guests sit alone.”

Haldir smiled. “I am beside you, my love.”

***---***

Merry and Pippin were within the great hall with Gimli and Legolas, as well as the few remaining Elves who called Hathil-Loth-Mahr home. Hung upon the wall next to banners of old was the emblem of a green field framed with gold. In the center was a sleeping marmot.

“Very frightening,” said Merry.

“’Tis the emblem of Rabbit’s people,” said Gimli. “I’ve seen some silly heraldic beasts in my time, but never a marmot.”

“Could be worse,” said Pippin. “Could be a chicken.”

“No that’s yours, Pip,” said Merry.

“That’s nice. I think I shall disavow any future knowledge of you.”

Merry laughed, then looked towards the door. “Here come our hosts. Behave yourself.”

Haldir entered the hall, dressed in robes of green and pale gold. As with all his kind, he seemed to walk in a light, and the Halflings fell silent at his approach. Behind him, Rabbit paused in the doorway. Clad in black and dark grey, he did not shine, but rather was like a part of the night. He stood, seeming to scent the room, then stepped in, his movements like those of a stag. Again he paused, wary of the small newcomers.

Too harshly had Rabbit learned to be cautious.

Haldir noticed the Hobbits gazing beyond him, and turned to look at Rabbit. He smiled, then said softly in Elvish; “Come up from the river, Elf of the Green Valley.”

Rabbit stepped over to Haldir. Pippin was rather distressed to notice that the dark Elf who seemed to dislike him was larger than the fair Elf who liked him. He rose to his feet slowly, not wanting to provoke a reaction similar to the one by the stream.

“Peregrine Took, Meridoc Brandybuck,” said Haldir, “may I present you my love, Rabbit.”

Pippin swallowed. “Very pleased to meet you.”

Rabbit stepped forward. “I am likewise pleased to meet you. I have heard many tales of your valor.”

“Yes, well, that’s very kind, but I assure you I didn’t feel terribly valiant at the time.”

Both Haldir and Rabbit laughed. “Yes I believe we have all had moments when we were quivering with valor,” said Rabbit. He smiled at the small Hobbit. “Please forgive me for my actions by the river.”

“Oh no need to apologize. We should have made ourselves known.”

Rabbit smiled. “Perhaps. Now if you will forgive me, I must tend to my daughter before I may join you for a proper conversation.” He made a slight bow, then left the hall.

***---***

Rabbit was all too relieved to escape the hall and make his way to an outside balcony. Bramble was already in bed, but he had needed an excuse to flee. He quickly descended the stairs, then paused on the stone landing. All around he heard the song of night creatures, and the distant rush of the falls. He breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed it would still be some time before he would be comfortable with other folk.

Rabbit paced the landing slowly, watching the day fade to night. Little bats flitted in the warm summer wind, and he felt himself at peace. Finally, he smiled a little. ‘Hobbits,’ he thought to himself, ‘Run out of my own house by Hobbits. Through all the battles of my life, with Orcs, wargs, trolls and other foul beings, I have not once fled. But two Hobbits arrive, and here I am, hiding. Ah, I am disgraced.’

A soft breeze rose, bringing with it the scent of a summer night, and Rabbit forgot about the Hobbits, and his fears. He closed his eyes, smelling the forest. Then he made his way down to the river. He ran into its shallow bed, rejoicing in the feel of the cool water. Like a wild thing he raced through the silver spray, soaking himself, washing away the dust of the day.

For hours he played in the woods and the river, heedless of what other eyes may be upon him. At last, as the barest light of dawn touched the dark sky, he returned to his room, wet and cold. He shook the silver water from his black hair, then removed his clothes and slid between the sheets next to Haldir. He pressed close, resting his head upon the other Elf’s shoulder. Haldir smiled, reaching up to touch the black wet hair, then kissed Rabbit’s forehead.

“Creature of the Forgotten Wilds,” he whispered. “My dearest friend.”

Rabbit kissed him, pressing close. He nibbled Haldir’s jaw, then moved over top of him. “Shall we play in the dew-soaked grass, or here?”

“Here, I think.”

“You are right. Moving would take up too much time.”

***---***

The day was warm and fair as Aragorn and Gandalf dismounted in the courtyard. Shadowfax immediately bounded off to frisk in the river, while Hasufel had to wait for his gear to be removed before running off to explore the Elven valley. Aragorn looked around, noting little had changed.

“It is good to see this place again.”

“It is indeed,” said Gandalf. “Let us see if we can find our friends.”

Aragorn nodded, then paused to consider the green flag that now fluttered above Imladris. He cocked his head, asking; “Is that a marmot?”

They made their way to an upper landing, then, spying smoke, hastened their step. At last they found themselves before a door. There was a sign upon it, reading “Fyne Sents by Mauburz.” The smoke was pouring from under the door. The door slammed open, and from within the darkened room they could hear two voices arguing.

“A pox on you, and your foul stenches!”

“And on Dwarfs, whose taste is in their mouths, and are too short to appreciate the loftier things.”

“Sissy Orc.”

“Pig of a Dwarf.”

“Hairdresser.”

“Creep.”

Gandalf and Aragorn looked at one another, uncertain what to do. They were distracted when they heard Hobbit-voices joyfully calling their names.

“Well met, young Hobbits!” said Aragorn. “It has been far too long since last we met.”

“Indeed it has,” said Merry. He glanced at the smoke pouring out of the door. Gimli emerged, coughing. As soon as he caught his breath, he turned to shout one more insult into the smoky chamber.

“Ye are no better at making perfume than ye are at battle!”

“I’d like to take you up on that wager, but your Elf might not care for me sending him your head on a pike!”

An enormous Uruk-Hai warrior stepped out of the smog. She paused and studied the Man and Wizard before her. Then she scrutinized the Hobbits.

“Haven’t we met?”

“NO!” said Merry and Pippin hastily.

“Really? I would have sworn we had. Permit me to introduce myself, I am Mauburz the Straggler. Now if you will pardon me, I must get a bucket of water.” She moved past the group, heedless of the eyes that followed her.

“Ridiculous Orc,” puffed the Dwarf. Finally his eyes stopped streaming, and he managed to focus.

“Aragorn! Gandalf! Why I had thought it another week before you arrived! Very pleased I am to see you!”

“Was that an Orc?” asked Aragorn. He seemed not to believe what he had seen.

“THAT was Mauburz, only Orc in the history of Middle Earth to be granted the right to open a perfume shop in an Elven house. But don’t mind her, tell me how you are!”

“A great deal more puzzled than when I first rode up,” said Gandalf.

The Dwarf smiled broadly. “Welcome to the house of Haldir and Rabbit, Hathil-Loth-Mahr, it is called now. And a good thing it is, too, that Master Elrond is not about to witness the nonsense that occurs here daily!”

“Oh indeed,” said Gandalf, giving Aragorn a wink. “I am quite certain Master Elrond never did a ridiculous thing a day in his life.”

“Except perhaps for that seldom-mentioned incident with the stable hand,” said Aragorn.

“I was wondering if Arwen would tell you about that.”

Aragorn smiled. “She tells me many things…. Gindruff.”

The old wizard scowled at him. “You’ll repeat that nickname at your own peril. Need I remind you that I am well familiar with ALL thy aliases, Shahadhidir.”

“What’s that mean?” asked Merry.

“Never mind,” said Aragorn. “Shall we go inside?”

Gandalf smiled, chuckling quietly. As the group of friends made their way along the walk to the Great Hall, Aragorn noticed a small form sitting on the floor with a large book of illuminations. She had managed to cover most of it, and herself, in blackberry jam from a piece of bread she was munching. Merry and Pippin halted and began looking nervously around.

“An Elven child? Here?” said Gandalf. The old mage seemed delighted, as did Aragorn.

“Just watch for her mother,” said Pippin, “she bites.”

Aragorn raised an eyebrow as he looked at the young Hobbit. “Master Peregrine, I can assure you that Elves do not bite.”

“This one does,” said Merry. “And I’ll wager all of Buckland she’s not far.”

“Nonsense,” said Gandalf, walking towards the dark-haired little Elfling. “Hello there, child.”

Aragorn watched the Halflings. He knew Merry and Pippin well enough to respect their concerns, and he began looking around as well.

“What does the child’s mother look like?” he asked.

Rabbit suddenly stepped out of a nearby room, yellow-green eyes blazing. He paused when he saw the strangers, then carefully stepped further into the corridor.

“Like that,” said Pippin, moving behind Aragorn. Gimli smiled at the small Hobbit.

Gandalf slowly looked up and faced the being before him. He gazed long at Rabbit, feeling the ages that surrounded the dark Elf like a cloaking mist. Rabbit paused, sensing the strength and hidden power of the old man before him. Elf and Wizard considered each other briefly. Then Bramble rose and took her book into the room Rabbit had just left. A moment later, swiftly and silently, Rabbit retreated after her.

“The years, Aragorn, did you feel the sheer weight of the years that surrounded him?” asked Gandalf softly. “So ancient, and so very alone. The very last of the Elves of Mordor. That I should live to see such a being.”

“I did not feel the age,” said Aragorn, “but I saw the eyes.”

“Yes. Rather like Treebeard’s, weren’t they, reflecting all the lives and times of Men and Elves. I wonder who is the elder of the two?”

“The Elf,” said Gimli. “Rabbit was here when the ones he calls the Golden Elves came in their ships, and began awakening things.”

“You have spoken with him?” Gandalf asked the Dwarf.

“Nay, I’ve spoken with Haldir. Rabbit speaks to very few, and says less. Haldir he speaks to, and occasionally Mauburz. But truly it was a long while ere I heard him speak.”

“What did he say?” asked Gandalf, as he and his companions once more began making their way to the Great Hall.

“Oh I don’t know what he said. T’was the night Bramble, the little girl, came forth. A lot of very loud and angry Elvish, followed by an ornate candleholder aimed at Haldir. I never believed Orcs sprang from Elves, but after that display, I began to think there was something to it.”

Gandalf chuckled, then looked at Aragorn. “Something for you to look forward to, then.”

“The Lady Arwen does not throw things, nor does she shout,” said Aragorn. “She has much quieter and more fearful means of letting her displeasure be known.”

***---***

Rabbit was frantic when Haldir found him in their bedchamber. He was throwing Bramble’s belongings into a pack, and the child herself was already bundled for departure. Haldir immediately went to him, catching him in his arms. Rabbit turned, his eyes glowing with fear.

“Rabbit…”

“A Wizard! Haldir you did not tell me there would be a Wizard coming here….”

Haldir felt a rush of sadness and regret at not thinking how Gandalf’s presence would throw his lover into a frenzy. He embraced him hard and kissed him, trying to reassure him. “It is only Gandalf, my love, he is a friend….”

“He is a Wizard! I cannot stay while he is here.”

“You cannot flee your entire life from those you do not know!”

“I will not stay to chance my life or Bramble’s!”

Rabbit tried to move away, but Haldir clutched him more tightly. Rabbit swung his head around and opened his jaws. Haldir froze, feeling his lover’s teeth strike his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, awaiting the slashing, flesh-rending bite the feral Elf was capable of delivering. The world was deathly still for a brief moment. Then Rabbit sagged against him and wept. Haldir thanked every Elven god he could think of for sparing him, then gently drew Rabbit down to the bed and held him tightly.

“I would bring none to this house I believed capable of harming either of you,” said Haldir softly. “While I live, you and Bramble will face no fear or foe alone.”

“I know, I know,” said Rabbit softly. “Forgive me, but… the sight of him brought forth the memory of so many old wounds.”

Haldir smiled. “And nearly presented me with a new one.”

Rabbit smiled slightly. “I am so sorry my love.”

“No need to be sorry, a bite could have only improved my countenance.”

“I shall bite thee someplace more important if you say such things.”

Rabbit was calmer now, but Haldir could feel him shiver beneath his hand like a taut bowstring. He could still bolt, and take their daughter into the Wild. Once there, not Elf nor Man nor Wizard could find him if he did not wish to be found. Haldir had sought Rabbit in the wood before, when he was a Watch-Warden of Lothlórien and Rabbit but a rumored ghost. The search had gained him only blisters and bug bites, though he knew the Wood by every stone and leaf.

“Do not flee,” he whispered. “Do not leave me alone.”

“I will not,” said Rabbit softly. He looked into Haldir’s eyes and said softly, “I promise.”

The words brought immense relief to Haldir. Well he knew how seriously Rabbit held onto his promises.

***---***

Frodo Baggins fell out of bed and began wandering through the halls of Bag End towards the front door. It was dark, and he was yawning as he attempted to yank a robe over his nightshirt. He did not bother to light a candle; he knew Bag End well enough to navigate in the dark, and if the person knocking at his door was whom he suspected, he would require no light either. Since they had been going to the Havens, nearly twice a week now some small group of Elves would show up at his door to see how he was faring. It was very kind of them, and Frodo enjoyed their visits, but he was beginning to suspect that folk who did not truly sleep did not realize others did.

He found the door and opened it, brown hair askew, yawning. Then he froze as a large, shaggy form stepped into the door, nearly filling it. For a brief befuddled moment, some part of Frodo’s sleep-deprived brain wanted to know why a Ringwraith would knock, and whether the bloody thing realized the Ring was gone. He was still trying to sort this out when the Ringwraith fell to its knees and embraced him. Then he smelled the familiar scent of the road-weary leather, and cried out with joy as he embraced Aragorn tightly.

“Aragorn! Of all unexpected joys!”

He glanced up and saw Legolas step lightly in after him, then Gimli. Merry and Pippin came next, then behind them, Gandalf. Frodo could not contain his delight, and actually wept to see all his companions together once more. Gandalf smiled and hugged the small Hobbit.

“What brings you all here?” he asked as he escorted them into his home.

“You, of course!” said Gimli. He pulled a cask from beneath his cloak. “Surely you did not think we would miss your birthday!”

Frodo was seated at his table, while Legolas and Gimli went for the cups. Awakened by the noise, Sam at last emerged from his own room, looking sleepy and puzzled at the Elf and Dwarf in the kitchen.

“Well now I know I’m dreaming,” he said.

“Master Gamgee!” said Gimli. “Might have known we would find you here. Go have a seat.”

Never one to argue with hallucinations, Sam went into the dining room, where he saw Gandalf and Aragorn. The Wizard was seated in Bilbo’s favorite old chair, while Aragorn was sitting on the hearth, smoking his pipe and laughing at something Frodo had just said.

“Sam come join us!” said Frodo, “Look who has come!”

“So I am awake?”

“Yes you’re awake!”

“I’m in my nightshirt.”

“And we have never seen you in your nightshirt,” said Aragorn.

Point taken, Sam came to sit at the table as well.

The impromptu party went on well into the day. Merry and Pippin made breakfast for everyone, while Frodo chatted with his friends. Then as breakfast was served, Frodo seemed to grow sad and thoughtful. Saying nothing, he rose and went into the kitchen. A moment later he returned with a spare plate and cup, setting them at one end of the table.

“Did Sam not bring enough plates?” asked Merry.

Frodo smiled a little. “I just thought since all the Fellowship was here, we should set a place for Boromir.”

Silence fell briefly in the Hobbit hole, as all remembered the friend the Ring had claimed so cruelly. Then Gimli clapped Frodo on the shoulder.

“He is here, lad, in memory,” the Dwarf said gently. “And we’ll drink a toast to him later when your friends all take you down to the Green Dragon.”

Frodo laughed. “Honestly? The gossip still hasn’t died down from Uncle Bilbo’s party!”

“You didn’t think we were going to let you put us through all that grief without getting you back for it at some point,” said Legolas.

“We can only pray the ceilings are higher,” said Aragorn.