Funny How Love Is

Rating: PG
Category: AU
Pairing(s): Nathan/Charles.
Warnings: None.
Summary: Charles and Nathan spend Valentine’s Day together unexpectedly
Notes: Belated Valentine's Day fic for deani_bean! Smoochie!

Charles Foster Offdensen stalked into the police station, eyes narrowed, jaw set, surrounded by an air of supreme annoyance. Despite his small size, the manager of Dethklok somehow managed to be the tallest person in the room, and he simply had to pause in the middle of the police station lobby for someone to scurry over to him. Charles exuded ice and disdain as the officer approached.

“Mr. Offdensen?”

“Yes.”

“Right this way. We’ve got him in his own cell.”

“His own cell?”

“Well it’s just for his own protection; some people can get a little strange around celebrities. He hasn’t been any trouble. Truth is we’ll be a bit sad to see him go.”

They reached the area where the prisoners were held. Charles stood before the jail cell, trying very hard to mask his extreme annoyance, while Nathan stood before him, swaying slightly, holding onto the bars of the cage. He was beat up and bleeding and smelled like a whorehouse… and not a very high-end one, either. At least he seemed to be okay.

“Hullo,” he said cheerfully to his manager. His breath could have killed a stone lion.

“Hello Nathan. Were we a bad boy tonight?”

“Yeah, Nathan was bad. I’m sorry.”

“Actually,” said the police office standing beside Charles, “he hasn’t been any trouble at all. If he wasn’t so drunk we would have let him go. But as you can see he’s a little tipsy.”

He was more than a little tipsy. He was fucking tanked. He had been gone for four days doing who the hell KNOWS what, but he’d charged almost two hundred grand to his credit card, and most of it at hotel bars.

“So what happened?” asked Charles.

“I got into a fight,” said Nathan.

“I see that. What happened?”

“I have no idea.”

Charles looked to the police officer. He could swear the cop wanted to scratch Nathan behind the ears. Nathan had that sort of effect on people.

“From what we were able to learn, while he was at the bar a girl flirted with him, he flirted back, and her boyfriend went crazy. He attacked Nathan with a chair, broke the chair across his back, then punched him a few times. Nathan apparently just backed up, didn’t want to fight with the man, then the man punched the girlfriend and after that things got a little crazy. You can press charges if you want but…”

“We will be pressing charges,” said Charles. “Depending on the shape Nathan is in we may also be suing for loss of income.”

“Well, that’s your right, but if you ask me…”

“He attacked my client. I’m not tolerating that.”

“Your client put that man in the hospital.”

‘Boo-fucking-hoo’, thought Charles. “Can I take Nathan home?”

“Yeah, just come this way and pay the bail, and we’ll release him to you.”

Charles bailed Nathan out, ignoring the lookie-loos and photographers that showed up like a plague of locust to see what was happening. Human cockroaches, all of them. Charles hated them.

“Is there an alternate exit to this facility?”

“There’s a back door.”

At long last Charles had Nathan loaded into the car and ready to go. He was bleeding again, his small cuts and lacerations having opened up when he scratched at the drying blood. Charles slid behind the wheel of his elegant grey Bentley and glanced at his drunken companion.

“Put your head down,” said Charles softly.

Nathan did, flopping down to put his head in Charles’ lap. Charles sighed.

“Not on me. You’re bleeding all over.”

Nathan forced himself into a seated position, though between the booze and the exhaustion, it was clear he couldn’t hold himself up for long. Charles sighed once more.

“Never mind. Come back. You’re a mess. Well it’s a three hour drive home, but I don’t think you’re up for it. Come on. We’ll find a hotel.”

Nathan said nothing, simply lying with his head on Charles’ lap, his cuts slowly oozing small amounts of blood. Well so much for this suit. Charles drove to the first decent-looking hotel he could find, one that catered to tourists rather than businessmen. He had learned long ago that business hotels tended to be the filthiest. He’d even found shit smeared in the bathroom of one. Charles didn’t do filth.

He left Nathan in the car and went into the hotel to book a room. The woman at the front desk recognized him the moment she laid eyes on him. Funny how he was nearly as famous as the boys now. Great. Just great. Considering the rumours flying over the fan sites about how he and Nathan were an item, recognition was the last thing he wanted.

“Mr. Offdensen! Welcome to the Five Palms hotel.”

“Thank you. I’d like to book a room for two nights.”

“Single?”

“Double, please.”

“And who will be staying with you?”

“The big one with the black hair and the deep voice. And before you ask me once again if I would not prefer a single, the answer is no, despite the rumours being spread by a load of dimwitted fan girls over the intranet.”

The look that suddenly appeared in her huge blue eyes told Charles that she was one of the afore-mentioned dimwits.

“Well that’s a little cold, don’t you think?” she said.

“I’m not here to be warm and snugly, Miss…” He glanced at her name tag. “Myers. I’m here to look after Dethklok. Protecting them from squealing rumour-spreading fans whose lives peaked in high school is part of it.”

She said nothing further, simply completing the registration form for the room. Charles had no doubt that by morning the fan chat rooms would be filled with screechings about how “OMG CF AND NATHAN BOOKED A ROOM 2GETHER SQUEEE! I SO TOTALLY KNEW THEY WERE AN ITEM!” followed by “OMG CF IS LIEK SUCH AN ASHOLE LIEK HE PROBABLY TOTALLY MISTREATS THE BOYS LIEK HE SHOOD BE FIRED!”

Funny how people’s minds worked. Funny how they always assumed he was mistreating them. Funny how they assumed Toki was utterly helpless and Murderface was utterly reprehensible with no room for shades of grey. Murderface was a lot of aggressive posturing and little else. Murderface could make you think he would hurt you. But give Toki a swat on the butt and he would go from a bunny to a werewolf in the time it took to cock a pistol. Funny how they thought Skwisgaar was just desperately seeking the right woman and Twu Wuv would save him. Funny how they thought Pickles was desperately yearning for Snakes ‘n’ Barrels to reform so he could be reunited with his own Twu Wuv, Tony. And the funniest bit of all was how they all seemed to think Nathan and Charles were a pair. They weren’t a pair. Nathan had never looked twice at him.

Jim Morrison was right. People were strange.

Charles went out to the car to claim Nathan, leaving the valet to park the stately old grey car.

“I’m gonna be sick,” said Nathan, as Charles dragged him upright and put an arm around his shoulders. He weighed a hundred tons and smelled like a bus station bathroom.

“Well wait until we get into the room, hmm?” said Charles.

“Urk.” Nathan staggered from side to side as they made their way into the hotel lobby. When’s th’ concert?”

“In five more months. That’s when you’re due to start touring again.”

“Oh well fuck that’s okay then, plenty of time to sober up. Hey look. A bar.”

Funny how fans loved stats. They loved to know every infinitesimal, trivial, pointless detail. Funny how they all stuck in his brain like peanut better. For instance; Nathan Explosion was six foot five in his bare feet, six-six in his boots, and weighed three hundred and twenty pounds. Granted some of that was fat, but most of it was not. Nathan used to play football, and he still had a lot of muscle tone. On the other hand, Charles was almost five foot five in his shoes, and a respectable one hundred and fifty pounds of well-toned muscle. He was almost a full foot shorter than Nathan, less than half his weight, and that meant if Nathan Explosion abruptly turned left to head for the hotel bar then Charles Offdensen was going along with him whether he liked it or not.

“Wouldn’t you prefer to get cleaned up first?” asked Charles, trying to extract his head from Nathan’s arm.

“Nah. I wanna eat.”

Eat! Good, he could use some food. Charles was hauled over to a booth and finally released. Charles dropped gracelessly into his chair and promptly began tidying himself up.

“Relax, you look fine,” said Nathan, thumping down into his seat.

“I’m sure I do, covered in blood and sweat and my hair all over the place.”

“Ya look fine.” Nathan grinned drunkenly and added; “Dear.”

Charles adjusted his glasses. “You keep this up and I’ll ask for a divorce.”

“I’m only divorcing you if you agree to take Murderface.”

A waitress bustled over. “And what can I get for you gentlem… oh my god you’re Nathan Explosion!”

“Yeah I am. Feed me.”

She handed him his menu and continued to stare at him, transfixed. Charles sighed and plucked his own menu out of her hand. The waitress continued to gush over Nathan.

“I saw you in New York, you were fabulous.”

Nathan looked puzzled. “New York? When were we in New York?”

“Seven months ago,” said Charles. “That would have been the ‘Blood on the Snow’ tour.”

“Right. That was a good tour.”

“It was.”

The waitress cast Charles a glance as if wondering who he was. Then she looked back at Nathan, rising up on her toes as she hugged a spare menu close to herself, suddenly reduced to a socially incompetent school girl by the closeness of her idol.

“I get off at eleven,” she said hopefully.

Nathan looked at her. His eye was swelling shut, his lip was split, and his face was a roadmap of bruises and little cuts.

“Uh-huh.” He looked down at the menu. “What are you having, Charlies?”

Charles smiled slightly at the sound of Nathan calling him by the “Scandinavian” version of his name.

“The scallops look good.”

“You’re a-lerrr-gic…” Nathan lilted. Not well but… it was a lilt.

“Only a little bit.” Charles sighed. “You’re right, by morning I’ll look like I’m wearing someone else’s face.” He noticed the waitress was still lurking. “Could we get some coffee, please?” he asked.

She ignored him. Charles made a quiet sound of exasperation. This was not the first time he had been treated this way when seated with the band, but she was the most blatant about it. Just then the hotel manager came over to get in his schmoozing. After all, billionaire rock stars didn’t just blow in every day.

“Good evening Mr. Explosion, so nice to have you here. Welcome to the Five Palms, I am Ed Ralston, the manager here. If you need anything please feel free to ask.”

“Thanks but… we’re fine.” Nathan glanced at the waitress. “Though I wouldn’t mind beer. And my manager asked for coffee.”

She zipped off to do as she was bid. Well at least the coffee was coming, assuming she brought it. Ed discreetly disappeared, not wishing to annoy the major celebrity and whoever the nerdy guy in the grey suit was.

“You know this is not gonna do anything to crush that rumour floating around the net that we’re an item,” said Nathan.

“What? You mean you and I having dinner together?”

Nathan grinned. “I mean you and me shacking up in a hotel together for Valentine’s Day.”

Charles had been having a drink of water when Nathan said that. It took every ounce of self-control he had to not spray water in all directions. He forced himself to swallow, then looked at Nathan.

“What are you talking about?”

“Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. We’ve just been seen having dinner together in a hotel where we plan on spending the night in the same room.”

Charles did choke this time, despite having nothing in his mouth. How could he have been that stupid?! It was his job to know these things, dammit! All the denial in the world wouldn’t help. The rumours would be flying thick and fast all over the net. By the time their appetizers arrived the rumour would have evolved from they were eating dinner to they were seen kissing to they were caught having sex by the chamber maid.

“Well that’s just swell,” said Charles, annoyed.

“What do you care? I thought you were gay.”

“I am but that has nothing to do with this. My job is to protect you from idiocy. And then I go and commit it myself.”

“Yeah ya did kinda drop the ball on this one.”

“Why thank you Nathan.” Charles sighed heavily. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Don’t be sorry, you drove three hours to bail my sorry drunken ass out of jail. You had other things to think about than what day it was. Though… okay yeah I do want to know why you only got one room.”

Charles stared at Nathan. “Do you honestly think I trust you to behave?”

“Do you honestly think I won’t sneak out when you’re asleep?”

“Do you honestly think I sleep?”

“Yeah you sleep like a log. How do you think we keep getting all your laser pointers?”

Charles stared at him, annoyed. The waitress arrived with his coffee, and a beer for Nathan, then she promptly gave Nathan her full attention, standing up on her toes again in that hopeful, little-girl way.

“Are you ready to order?”

“I dunno. What are you having, Charlies?”

That name again. It was endearing coming from Toki with his heavy accent, but from Nathan it sent shivers down his spine. Charles knew Nathan was aware of his feelings for him; he’d certainly let that cat out of the bag during the night they’d gone out for the express purpose of getting him loaded.

Pickles had been sending out tentative little signals since then, which was pretty sweet, actually. But Charles wasn’t attracted to him, and was not about to try and find any sparks that may possibly be lurking deep within. Not that Pickles wasn’t a surprisingly cuddly and considerate lover from what he had heard, but Pickles tended to go off like a loaded gun if suitably provoked. Charles could just imagine what it would be like to take Pickles home to his somewhat aloof and ‘superior’ family. Charles had been sorely tempted to smother them in their sleep with a pillow himself on a number of occasions, and he loved them. He could just imagine what Pickles would do to his father after a few drinks.

So Charles gently deflected any attention from Pickles, hoping Nathan would start showing some interest. So far however Nathan hadn’t given any indication at all that he had any attraction to Charles, he just wasn’t bothered by the knowledge that Charles wanted him.

“I was thinking the steak and mushrooms,” said Charles.

“Yeah me too.” Nathan looked at the waitress. “Two steak and mushroom, Charles likes his blue-rare, I like mine medium, oh and bring him a beer in a frosted mug, steak goes better with beer. Make in a Rickard’s White with lemon.”

“Well I don’t normally drink beer,” said Charles, feeling a little taken aback that Nathan knew how he liked his steak.

“You’ll like this, trust me,” said Nathan.

“Well you’d know beer better than I would. For an appetizer, I’d like…” Charles paused, noticing the waitress was pointedly ignoring him once more.

Funny how some women thought treating friends of the band like shit would endear them to the object of their affection. She was damned lucky this was Nathan and not Skwisgaar; Charles had personally seen Skwisgaar reduce people who had upset his dates to tears. Not that this was a date… unfortunately.

Charles narrowed his eyes at the waitress, and said very quietly; “Well there’s no sense in booking this hotel next tour, the service is completely inadequate.”

She failed to react. Clearly she had no idea who he was. Suddenly a second woman darted over, also in a server’s uniform.

“I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted to say I love your music,” she said to Nathan. She then turned to Charles and held her hand out to him. “Hi, I’m Denise. I saw your lecture on financial management at the Sorbonne University and I have to say I was very impressed.”

“Well thank you,” said Charles, pleased with the compliment. Little Miss Tippy-Toes looked at her co-worker questioningly.

“This is Charles Offdensen,” said Denise. “He manages Dethklok.”

The light came on over Miss Tip-Toes’ head, and she seemed to wince. He may not have been in the band, but clearly he decided where the band spent their nights. Suddenly she noticed him.

“Did you want an appetizer?”

“Yes. I’ll have the escargot.”

Nathan shuddered. “Oh, Charles… sick.”

“I like them.”

“They’re snails.”

“I know that.”

“Sick.” Nathan thought for a moment. “Okay I’ll try the escargot.”

The waitress left, and Denise quietly departed. Nathan sighed quietly.

“I’m sorry I dragged you all the way out here.”

Charles sipped his water. “Well it’s really not like you to take off for days at a time, at least not without the other four in tow.”

“I just wanted to be alone,” Nathan said quietly. “I was really upset. You know that girl I’ve been seeing? Judith?”

“Yes?”

“Few nights ago… Skwisgaar woke up and found her in his bed.”

Charles raised an eyebrow. “You sure it wasn’t the other way around?”

“No. I know Skwisgaar. I know he’s a slut but he wouldn’t take a girl he knew I was with. He wouldn’t take a girl he knew I really liked. He’s stolen my groupies, yeah, but never anybody I was in a relationship with.”

“That must have been very upsetting for you.” Charles took out his cell phone and sent a message back to their head of security that Judith’s clearance to roam around Mordhaus had just been revoked.

Nathan shrugged. “Doesn’t matter,” he said quietly in that way that meant it mattered a lot, he just didn’t know what to do about it. “I can’t seem to get a girl to like me. Probably just too dumb.”

“Nathan,” said Charles softly, “you’re not dumb.”

Nathan shrugged again. “Just sick of wondering about it. The nice girls never stay and the ones I want to leave won’t go. It’s bullshit. I’m sick of it.” He gave Charles a questioning look. “I guess it’s the same with… you know… guys.”

“I suppose it is,” said Charles. “I’ve never dated a woman personally.”

The escargot arrived, sizzling in a heated dish, their shells overflowing with garlic butter and Parmesan cheese, along with a couple of strange-looking utensils. Nathan stared down at them, then looked at Charles.

“Okay you’re going to have to explain this to me.”

Charles smiled and picked up what looked like a small pair of tongs with a little spring attached to hold them tightly closed. “These are your tongs; they’re for holding the shell. And this is your escargot fork for picking them out of the shell.”

“Okay. So… how do I work them?”

Charles demonstrated, deftly picking up one of the sizzling hot shells in the tongs and picking out the tiny morsel within.

“Looks easy enough,” said Nathan. “Okay. I can do this.”

He picked up the tongs and carefully took hold of a snail shell. Charles noticed he was holding the shell improperly, but before he could say anything the shell shot out of the tongs and across the room with bullet-like speed, landing like an air-launched torpedo in a man’s soup. Nathan was mortified. The man slowly picked the snail out of his dinner and looked at the big hairy metal-head across the room with annoyance.

“Sorry,” said Nathan. “Uh… they don’t let me out much.”

The man set aside the snail disdainfully and resumed eating. Nathan rested his elbows on the table and hid his face in his hands. Charles swallowed down his amusement.

“It’s okay Nathan, that happens to the best of us.”

“I can’t believe I almost shot someone with a snail. I think I’ll just chase them around with my fork.”

Chasing then didn’t work. At last Nathan was reduced to grabbing them with the tongs once more, but this time he was more careful and there were no further casualties.

“These are really good,” said Nathan. “I never had stuff like this growing up. My parents consider anything that’s not basic meat and potatoes as freaky foreign food. You know what the first thing I ate was when I left home? Samosas. Thought they were awesome. Musta ate twenty of them. Told my mom all about them and she said I would get intestinal worms and die from eating stuff like that. I love my mom but she and my dad are… really intolerant. My dad hates Skwisgaar because he’s so pretty. He actually told me once a guy like him should be taken out and beaten until he acts like a man.”

“Oh,” said Charles quietly. “Well… I fail to see why your dad would hold Skwisgaar’s appearance against him. It’s not really his fault he’s tall and willowy and pretty.”

“No but he lets his hair grow long and… well the way he moves… he’s pretty demure.”

“Yes he is but…” Charles sighed. “I just don’t understand the mindset of some people. So the man is beautiful. Who wouldn’t like to be almost seven feet tall and gorgeous? I’m five foot five and been told I look like an irritated toad.”

The waitress showed up to take the plates away, then brought their steak and beer. Charles had an experimental sip of the beer. Normally he didn’t care for the stuff, but this was exquisite.

“Nathan I think you have just turned me into a beer drinker.”

“It’s good huh? Yeah I used to think I hated whiskey until Pickles showed me that there’s whiskey and then there’s the crap my dad drinks.”

“You could send your dad some.”

Nathan shrugged. “Nah. He’s happy with his crap. Doesn’t want his military friends to think he’s getting uppity or some shit. He doesn’t talk to them about me because their sons are all like… pilots and athletes and stuff.”

“And you’re just a major rock star.”

“I stand on stage and whirl my head around. It’s not work.”

“The hell it’s not. You boys all work hard.”

“Yeah, well. He doesn’t see it that way.” Nathan glanced at Charles. “So… what does your dad think of you?”

Charles looked at Nathan, curious about the sudden interest. “About what I do for a living or my sexual orientation?”

“Either.”

“He thinks I’m wasting my talents on a group of twits who don’t play real music, and as for being gay… we don’t talk about it.”

“But he knows.”

“Oh he knows. He caught me and my boyfriend in the games room.”

Nathan grinned. “Sounds like the right place. You know you could have just… denied you were…”

“Yes, well… it’s a little hard to claim you’re not doing anything when you’ve got… why am I telling you this? Honestly since I’ve been hanging around you five I find myself just spewing personal information.”

“You were screwing.”

“We were not!” said Charles heatedly.

“Blow job?”

“None of your business, Mr. Explosion. Eat your meat.”

“That’s what he said.”

Charles just stared at Nathan, who was grinning back at him. “Nathan… please don’t make me hurt you.”

“You’re no fun.”

Charles watched as Nathan stole a mushroom from his plate, and suddenly a thought occurred to him. “Nathan… are you flirting with me?”

Nathan’s head snapped up as if he had been struck, and he stared at Charles like a rabbit in the headlights. His fork slipped from his hand as his eyes became huge. Then he became flustered, almost knocking his water over but managing to catch it. Charles’ jaw dropped in astonishment.

“Are you flirting with me?” he asked quietly.

Nathan was completely off-balance. He was almost panicking. “No! I wasn’t! I mean… I didn’t mean to!”

Charles watched Nathan dissolve into a thirteen-year-old caught looking at the cutest girl in class. It was astonishing.

“Nathan it’s all right if you were, I don’t mind.”

Nathan somehow managed to get himself under control, but he was clearly upset. “I was,” he admitted. “I was flirting but… I didn’t realize I was flirting. I… I don’t know why I did that. I’m sorry.”

“Nathan it’s fine,” said Charles. “Really. I don’t mind. I… I liked it.”

Nathan shook his head, fear in his green eyes. He couldn’t seem to look at Charles. He could look anywhere else, but not at Charles. It seemed he genuinely did not realize what he had been doing.

“Sorry,” Nathan said lamely. “I… kinda scared myself. I’ve… I’ve never uh… done that before. Kinda freaked myself out.”

“Do you like me?” asked Charles.

“I dunno… maybe? I don’t know! God, give me a minute, I only just realized I was flirting, I’m… a little messed up right now.”

The waitress came back. “Anything more I can get for you?” she asked.

“No, we’re fine,” said Nathan.

“Well… here’s my number if you…”

Nathan snapped. “Look the only thing that I want from you is for you to stop hovering, okay?”

She left. Charles doubted she was coming back. Nathan didn’t bark often but when he did, people scattered.

“I’m sorry,” said Charles softly.

“It’s not your fault,” said Nathan, his voice equally quiet. “I just… had a massive ir… irrelev…”

“Revelation?”

“Yeah, I just had a massive personal revelation that maybe I do like you and… I need time to get used to the idea.”

Charles nodded and returned to his meal. They finished eating, then they went up to their room in silence, Nathan still shaken by the realization that he had been flirting. Once inside, Nathan lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. Charles went into the bathroom to take a shower. By the time he emerged, Nathan was asleep. Charles covered him over, then went to his own bed. He settled beneath the covers, gazing at the large man on the bed across the room until finally his eyes slipped closed and he too fell into a deep sleep.

***---***

It was about four-thirty in the morning when Charles was awakened by the sound of Nathan getting sick in the bathroom. The days of abuse had caught up with him, and he heaved and vomited and uttered the usual drunkard’s vow of never doing this again… and this time he meant it. He retched and gagged and cried for about twenty minutes, then brushed his teeth and had a shower. Charles got out of bed, pulling his grey robe on, then went in search of anything suitable for a hangover in his briefcase. He found something to help with the nausea and the headache, then sat on the bed, waiting for Nathan to emerge. He didn’t have to wait long. Soon Nathan came staggering out, several shades of green and grey, his bruises nicely established.

“Hangovers suck,” he muttered, flopping onto the bed.

“Here,” said Charles softly, offering him the pills and the glass of water.

“Will these kill me?”

“No, Nathan, they will not kill you.”

“Then why am I taking them?”

Charles rolled his eyes. “Just take them.”

Nathan did, accepting the pills and the water with shaking hands. He swallowed them down, then set the glass aside. There was silence in the dimly-lit room for a time.

“Charles I’m sorry about the way I freaked when you asked if I was flirting. It just… really caught me by surprise. I didn’t… realize that’s what I was doing. And… I don’t know why.”

Charles shrugged. “Well… Nathan… I wouldn’t worry about it. You were drunk, you had your heart broken, and you know… I’ve shown interest in the past. Perhaps you were just subconsciously seeking some validation.”

“Does that mean you’re not interested in me anymore?” Nathan asked quietly.

Charles sighed. Funny how a straight man could have fits that a gay man might like him, and then if the gay man said he wasn’t interested the straight man would pout.

“Well… Nathan I assumed that you wouldn’t be interested in me.”

“I thought I wasn’t. Now I don’t know what I want. I just know I feel kinda lonely and unwanted and… the more I think about it, the more I realize you and the guys are the only people who seem to really like me.” He stared down at his feet, scuffing his toes through the carpeting. “I don’t know what to do. I’m just really tired of being lonely.”

Charles felt a strange pain in his chest as his heart skipped a beat. “What are you saying?” he asked quietly, not sure he dared to hope.

Nathan shifted nervously. “Um… I’m asking you if… you think maybe you and me could… see if we like each other the same way.”

Charles smiled, melting inwardly. Did this man have the faintest idea how sweet he was?

“I’d like that.”

Nathan seemed surprised. “You would? You wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with me?”

“Well I could ask you the same thing. After all I’m the one who got drunk, parked myself in your lap and played with your hair.”

“Aw Pickles does that all the time.”

Charles raised an eyebrow. “Why does that not surprise me in the least?”

Nathan crossed the room to sit beside Charles on the bed, the springs sinking dangerously beneath his weight. Charles suddenly found himself feeling flustered and… strangely shy. He stared down at his hands.

“It’s funny,” said Charles quietly. “You can envision a thing a million times in your mind, and when it actually happens…”

“It’s like you’re watching something on a movie screen. You can’t believe it’s real.”

Charles looked up into Nathan’s green eyes. He knew Nathan could be dumb as a post. He kept forgetting he could also be incredibly astute.

“That’s right,” Charles said quietly.

“You thought about this?

Charles nodded. “A few times. I’ve liked you for quite a long time but… well I work for you and it’s not generally…”

“Bullshit,” sad Nathan affectionately.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You don’t work for us, you’re raising us.”

“Well I admit I’ve written letters to each and every one of your parents thanking them for the stellar job they did of raising you. Not that I’ve mailed them.” Charles noticed that Nathan was slowly leaning nearer to him. “Um… Nathan? You’re… getting awfully close.”

“Do you mind?”

“No, actually, I can’t say that I do.”

“Good.”

Nathan kissed him. Charles turned towards him, draping his arms around Nathan’s neck and falling back to the bed, pulling Nathan down on top of him. Nathan broke off the kiss.

“Well you don’t waste any time, do you?”

“I’m just trying to get what I can before you sober up.”

“Well don’t expect too much, you’re my first guy ever. And I’m still not sure how I feel about that.” Nathan gently tugged open Charles’ robe, running his fingers over the broad, muscled chest, toying gently with the soft hairs.

“Well I’m definitely not a woman,” said Charles softly.

“No but Judith’s chest was hairier.”

“You’re joking,” said Charles.

“No, I’m not. She was like a chimp.”

“Are you sure she was a woman?”

“Well she was a hairy one, but… yeah she was a woman all right.”

Nathan lowered his head to kiss Charles’ chest. The touch of his warm lips against his skin made Charles gasp quietly, and he squirmed slightly, closing his eyes. Nathan kissed his lips, then slowly drew back. Charles opened his eyes, looking at him. A cold thread of worry ran through him that perhaps Nathan had decided a man was not what he wanted.

“Nathan?”

“Sorry. My stomach started to do something strange and I didn’t think you wanted me to vomit on you.” Nathan glanced at Charles. “Well I guess we can stop worrying about that rumour now.”

Charles smiled. “I guess we can. Would you… like to sleep beside me?”

Nathan nodded. “Yeah. I would. Just… give me a minute to let my stomach settle.” He breathed deeply. “Okay. I think I’m good.”

He got under the covers and closed his eyes. Charles dropped his robe and got into bed beside him. After a few minutes Nathan turned onto his side and slipped his arms around Charles, holding him close.

“Promise me you won’t ever climb into bed with Skwisgaar.”

“Never. I couldn’t stand the humiliation when he threw me out.”

“Actually it would be Toki throwing you out.”

Charles smiled. “I hope they get together, they’re cute.”

“They’re trying,” said Nathan. “They just have to learn to trust each other, and they don’t have much of that.” He drew a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “It would be nice to be able to trust.”

Charles kissed him softly. “You can trust me. I promise.”

“Are you gonna admit we spent the night together in public?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Nathan shrugged. “Admit it. There have been times we embarrassed you.”

“There have been times you five have utterly mortified me, but I still love all of you.” Charles stroked Nathan’s hair. “I’d be thrilled to be able to publicly admit we were a couple.”

“Well let’s just try to survive tonight.” Nathan kissed Charles. “Tomorrow when I’m feeling better you can explain to me how to have sex with you.”

“I can show you a few things now if you like.”

“One thing at a time,” said Nathan softly. “Just let me get used to being with you first.”

“Okay.” Charles kissed him softly, feeling a strange little thrill run through his body as Nathan responded. Funny how one little gesture could change the entire world in an instant. He raised a hand to touch Nathan’s face, watching him as he drifted into sleep.

Funny how he always knew they would be together one day.

Charles’ head shot up as the hotel room door opened, and he rolled over, waking Nathan as he grabbed for the bedside lamp and his gun at the same time. The light flicked on, and Charles pointed his weapon at an astonished-looking waitress wearing nothing but a thong, some whipping cream and a couple of cherries. She stared at Charles and Nathan, her face turning vibrant red.

“You have thirty seconds to leave before I call the manager and have you fired,” said Charles.

She left. Charles put the gun away and flopped onto his back.

“Does that happen to you often?” he asked.

“You’d be surprised,” mumbled Nathan.

Charles clicked off the bedside lamp. “Not half as surprised as that waitress.”