Summoning

Rating: PG
Category: AU
Pairing(s): None
Warnings: None
Summary: Dethklok have a tiny problem.
Notes: I’ve had a shit couple of days, I wanted some fluff.

“What is that?” Offdensen asked.

Funny how after so long with the boys his tone was now always that of a single parent with too much to do and too many kids. Which summed up his position rather well, now that he thought about it. The most brutal heavy metal band in existence stood before him and managed to look like five kids who had smuggled home a puppy and been caught. Which, once again, summed up the situation rather well.

“I think it’s a dragon,” said Nathan. “We’re not sure.”

Offdensen looked at the tiny jewel-red critter. It was about two feet long, and was mostly all neck and tail, with a tiny slender body, longish legs, rumpled little wings, and large golden eyes set in a little snake-like face. It was sitting in Nathan’s hand, and as it spied Offdensen it made a reasonable attempt to intimidate him. It arched its back, slapped its tail, then huffed out a waft of flame half as impressive as a Bic lighter. He raised an eyebrow.

“And where did it come from, exactly?”

“Well we uh… still had that Finnish book of necromancy, so we… uh… went into the woods and tried another spell, this time for a dragon. We got this.”

The hatchling hissed, then uttered a roar that sounded a great deal like a very small and rusty hinge.

“Well that’s just great,” said Offdensen. “And what do you plan on doing with it?”

Nathan shrugged. “Dunno.”

“We’s keepings it,” said Toki.

“Well, Toki, you can’t keep it, because it’s going to grow.”

“We know! Is goings to guards da house!”

Offdensen eyed the tiny dragon. One day her head would be larger than his whole body. The slam of her tail would be like a shockwave, her wings a hurricane, and her breath would be napalm and death. For now she was just a tiny helpless thing, hardly able to keep her wings folded. He reached a hand out to her and she cringed, watching his fingers, swinging her head back and forth to keep them in view. She rolled onto her back and grabbed a finger with her forelegs, kicking with her back feet and biting, eyes bright. After a few moments of this she permitted him to rub her head. She blinked her golden eyes and screwed her little face into a grin, squeaking. Offdensen felt himself begin to relent.

“Well… she is cute…” he conceded.

“We’s calling her Midgaard,” said Toki.

Great. One more problem. Exactly where were they supposed to keep a dragon? And what did they feed it? He watched as the little animal rubbed her head against his fingers. Fuck. Why did it have to be cute? Maybe it would stay little…

Right. His life didn’t work that way.

“Well I don’t see the harm,” Offdensen said. “I mean she’s pretty small, and she seems friendly enough.”

Midgaard suddenly scampered up Nathan’s arm and onto his shoulder, her attention focused on Pickles. She eeped at him, craning her neck. Pickles stared back at her.

“And… uh… just what do you want, eh?” he asked the little animal.

Midgaard stared at Pickles, head bobbing. Pickles eyed her warily. Offdensen had a funny feeling he knew what was coming next.

Suddenly Midgaard launched herself at Pickles’ face, latching onto one of his eyebrow piercings and pulling with all of her might. He screamed and clutched his face just as she dropped to the ground and galloped away like a winged ferret, something clutched in her jaws. Blood ran down Pickles’ face.

“Son of a fucking bitch! Dood she ripped my eyebrow ring off! Gawd, that fucking hurt!”

“Huh,” said Nathan. “I guess all that shit about dragons stealing gold is true.”

“Well then you have a problem,” said Offdensen.

Skwisgaar made his usual derisive snort of amusement. “Ja, Pickle is needings new face-rings.”

“No, I mean you have a problem, Skwisgaar, and Toki as well.”

“What’s you means?” asked Skwisgaar.

“I mean your guitar strings.”

“Whats abouts de guitars string?”

“You use Maxima round-wounds, don’t you? Maxima gold round-wounds?”

Offdensen waited for the information to penetrate Skwisgaar’s pretty blonde head. In the background Midgaard, having stashed her ring safely, was now making a beeline for one of the ever-present guitars. She pounced on it, grabbed a string, and dangled, growling fiercely as she tried to yank it free, little wings beating.

“We gots ot’er guitars,” said Skwisgaar.

Frustrated, Midgaard dropped to the ground, drew a deep breath, arched her tiny body, and sprayed flaming death. In seconds the guitar was charred ashes, and the strings shiny slag, which Midgaard promptly drank down. She then galloped out of the main room and began heading for the studio.

“So, think it might be a good idea to put that dragon back, hm?” said Offdensen.

Down the hall something went up in flames. There was a scream followed by the sound of a fire extinguisher.

“I’ll… uh... go get the book,” said Nathan.